英语剧本十人

这个搞笑《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）

A: Oh, Kevin. Fancy meeting you here.B: Yes, we haven’t met for nearly ten years. How’s it going?A: Fine. How’re you doing? B: I am stressed.A: Why are you so stressed?B: You know, I am a business man. And now I even haven’t one costumer. And my company is nearly bust up. A: What a pity. And what kind of business do you run?B: I run vegetable’s business. I sell lettuce, mushrooms, cucumbers and so on. These vegetables are really popular, fresh and cheap. But I don’t know why people doesn’t come to my company.A: Has your company own WEB PAGE?B: No, I think it’s unnecessary.A: You are wrong. If your company has not own WEB PAGE, no one will know your company, so that nobody shops at your company.B: Oh, I got it. Thanks for your advice.And what have you been doing these years?A: After I graduated from university, I worked in an oversea international company for three years. I always went abroad to do business. But I thought though the salary is quiet good, I am too tired. So I resign the company.B: What did you do next?A: After resigned the company, I had nothing to do till one day---I found a want ad on China Daily. It said a man who has the ability of typing and writing fast was wanted to be a secretary in an office. I thought I could do this job. So I went to this company to have an interview.B: How about your result?A: Don’t ask. It was a fraudulent ad. There isn’t an office. And I am cheated.B: Oh, are you joking? Is that true?A: It’s absolutely true. After being cheated, I decided to work as a policeman. And we caught people who break the law.B: I admire you. Oh , I forget to ask you. What’s your hobby?A: I like to play ballgames. How about you?B: I prefer doing exercises at the health club. I think it is good for my health.A: I am a little bit hungry now. Shall we go for lunch?B: That is a good idea. I will pay the bill.A: No, no, no, I will pay for it.B: Don’t argue. Both of us should pay a half of it.A: Let’s go.

The Musicians of Bremen（布莱梅的音乐家） 【我小学的剧本，望采纳 开幕： 幕边台词：Hey，everybody, This is our morning exercise time. Let’s dance! 【各动物出场(两只猪、两只牛、一匹马、一只驴)，一起跳舞（Hokey Pokey）】 【农夫和妻子（拿着食物桶）出场，吹哨子召集动物吃早餐，动物拿着食物盘排成一排，做出可爱的样子】 Wife：【把食物倒在食物盘上，小猪把头放在wife的肩膀上撒娇】Look at the lovely pig, they grow bigger and bigger! Farmer：【点头】.Hmmm. Wife：【把食物倒在食物盘上】Oh, my dear cow. Farmer: 【牛扭一下屁股，身子和农夫摩擦一下】Our cow give us milk every day. I love them. Wife：【点点头】Oh，yes. 【倒食物给马】And our horse help us a lot with the farm work! Farmer: Yes, he is our family member. Donkey: 【一直伸着耳朵听，听到农夫和妻子对各个动物的称赞，也想获得称赞。驴看见旁边有一袋麦子，就去搬，想讨好农夫。但却搬不动】 Farmer：Look at the donkey. He is too old to work. Wife: I think we can sell him to the butcher. Farmer: That’s a good idea. Let’s call the butcher to come tomorrow.【说完后，农夫和妻子退场】 Donkey:【听了主人的对话，表情随着想得到表扬，到失落。听到要卖给屠夫，表情变得惊讶和伤心】Oh. No!【走到舞台中间，垂头丧气的摇头】 【动物围了过去】 Horse：Hey, my brother, the butcher will kill you. Donkey：I know，I know. Maybe I will become a plate of jerky（肉干）, or a plate of roast meat（烤肉），or I will be cooked with pepper(辣椒). Oh, I hat pepper. It always makes my tears come out. 【尽管伤心，还是很有幽默精神的】 Pigs: Oh, Mr. Donkey, maybe you can run to the mountain. Donkey: 【摇头】In that case, I will not do good to people! Cow 1: Don’t be sad. Mr. Donkey. You are good at music. You can play the guitar. 【驴露出感激的笑容】 Cow 2: And you can play the drum and you have a nice voice! 【驴露笑的很开心】 All the animals: You can go to Bremen and become a musician. Donkey：【欢乐地跳起来】Yes, yes, I can go to the Musician Home—Bremen. I will use my show to make people happy! Pigs: 【走到旁边看了看】Now the chance comes. Our masters fall into sleep. Start your journey to Bremen, please. Donkey: OK. Bye-bye.【驴戴上了吉他和鼓】 Animals: Bye-bye. 【动物转一圈，将农场布景带下, 带上路途上的背景】 【驴在欢快的音乐中转了两圈，两只小鸡拖着小狗跑，但小狗不愿意，躺在路边上气不接下气】 Chickens：Hurry up, Mr. Dog. You should run away from here. Dog: Oh，my dear friend. Let me alone. Let me—these old bones, wait for death quietlyDonkey：Why are you out of breath, Mr. dog? Dog：Ah, I’m old and weak. I cannot hunt anymore. So my master tries to shoot me. I ran away. But now I do not have either a home or a job. I will starve.” Donkey：Oh. Don’t be so sad. You are still very valuable. Can you play the drum? Dog: 【接过驴手中的鼓】Oh，Yes. That’s my strong points. I always want to be a drum player. 【嘴巴哼出打鼓的节奏】 Donkey：I am going to Bremen to become a musician. Let’s go together. We can start a musical band. I will play the guitar. And you can play the drum.” Dog：That’s a great idea. Let’s go right now. Good bye, my dear friend. Chickens: Good bye. I believe you will be a good musician. 【驴和狗一起走了。（加音乐）驴弹吉他。狗敲鼓。小鸡退场，三只小鸭和小猫上台，小猫无比伤心地唱歌（country road），小鸭跳舞，donkey和cat也加入跳舞中】 Ducks: You sings well, Mr. Dog. Cat:【伤心地】No，that’s meaningless. I am useless now. Dog【走前】Mr. Cat, what’s the matter with you? Cat：I am too old to catch mice any more. And my mistress beat me. So I ran away. But I don’t know where to go. Donkey: You are still very useful, Mr. Cat. Come with us to Bremen. We can start a musical band. I will play the guitar, and Mr. Dog can beat the drum. And you can sing in our band. Ducks: Wow, Mr. Cat, you will be a super singer. Cat：That sounds great. I like singing. Let’s start for Bremen. Goodbye, my wonderful friends.

新灰姑娘 New Cinderella 角色：灰姑娘（戴着深度近视眼镜，满脸雀斑），后母，两个姐姐，王子，小仙女，女孩甲，女孩乙，参加宴会者数人。 道具：深度近视眼镜两副，高跟鞋，拖把，鸡毛掸子，梳子，橡皮筋，西瓜车，SKI化妆品，音乐带，镜子，围巾，流星。 ACT 1 （灰姑娘背对着观众，拿着拖把拖地，身体夸张地跟着音乐律动，再拿起鸡毛掸子清理，后母走出来，刚好清理到她的身边。） Stepmother: Cinderella, what are you doing? （生气地） Cinderella: Mum, your dress is a little bit dirty. Let me clean it for you. （用鸡毛掸子清理后母的裙子。） Stepmother: Stop it! You naughty girl. Look at my face. （拿出镜子给Cinderella看）You had better clean your face first. （怒气冲冲离开） Cinderella: Oh! My face. What can I do? （望着镜子） 镜子：Oh ,the poor girl. But you are kindhearted. (Cinderella伤心地唱着Star light, star bright) Star light, star bright, First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might. Have the wish I wish tonight.（闭眼祷告） （这时，天空滑过一颗流星，接着小仙女跑过来，追着这颗流星。） 小仙女：My candy. My candy.（跑着跑着，掉了一样东西） （Cinderella祈祷完毕，看到地上地东西，捡起来。） Cinderella: What is it? SKI ,for beauty. Oh, that is for me. Thank you very much.（双手合十做感谢状） ACT 2 （Cinderella背对观众清理房间） 大姐：Cinderella, comb my hair. Cinderella: Yes, sister. （将大姐的头发绑成冲天炮） 二姐：Cinderella, get me a scarf.（拿出一条围巾并绑二姐未在手臂上） （大姐和二姐站起来互看了一眼，并放声大笑。） 大姐：You look so funny. 二姐：You look so funny. 大姐，二姐：（觉得不对劲）Cinderella! Cinderella: （没戴眼镜，雀斑全消）Yes? 大姐：Cinderella, you look so different. 二姐：Cinderella, your face… Cinderella: I made a wish and it came true. 大姐，二姐：How did you do that? （Cinderella 配合滑稽的音效，比手画脚了一番。） 大姐，二姐：Oh! I see. Go to your room, Cinderella. （Cinderella退回房间） 大姐：It is easy, isn’t it? 二姐：Yes. Let’s try. 大姐，二姐：（唱歌） Star light, star bright, First star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might. Have the wish I wish tonight. （这时，天空掉下一颗巨大的陨石。） 小仙女：My ball. My ball. （跑着，跑着，将陨石捡起并向观众，这时身上掉下一样东西。） 大姐：（睁开眼睛）What is it? 二姐：（从地上捡起来）SK. 大姐：It works. 大姐，二姐：（抢着涂抹）Save some for me. ACT 3 Stepmother: Mary! Judy! Where are you? It is time to party. 大姐，二姐：（沮丧地）We are here. （大姐，二姐成为大近视眼，脸上并长满雀斑。） Stepmother: Oh, my goodness! What’s the matter with you ? 大姐，二姐: Mummy! Help us. ACT 4 Cinderella: （唱Star light, star bright并闭眼祷告） （这时，天空滑过一颗流星） 小仙女： My candy! My candy! Cinderella! Stop singing the song. Here are the car and the dress. Be sure to come back before twelve. Cinderella: Thank you, my angel! ACT 5 （宴会上，大家快乐地跳着舞） 王子：My fair lady .May I have this dance? Cinderella: Yes, please. （王子和Cinderella跳着DISCO） Stepmother: Who’s that? 大姐：She is so beautiful. 二姐：I wish I were the girl. 大姐：Don’t make any wish, stupid girl. (钟敲响12下) 时钟报时：Dang! Dang! Dang! It is 12 o’clock! Cinderella: Oh! I have to leave now.（冲忙跑走，掉了一双鞋子。） 王子： Hey! Don’t be so rush. What’s your name? ACT 6 （在街上，王子看到女孩子就请她试穿鞋子。） 王子：Please try it on. 女孩甲：（试穿后）It is not my size. 女孩乙：（试穿后）It is not mine. 大姐：Let me try it.（但穿不下） 二姐：It is my turn.（也穿不下） 王子：（看到Cinderella）Lady，would you please try it on. Cinderella：Oh! It’s my shoe. 王子：You are the girl in the party. Cinderella：Yes, I am。Thank you for bringing me the shoe. （跑走，并唱着Star light, star bright） 王子：Wait! Wait! I am the prince. Marry me! 小仙女：（穿着Cinderella参加舞会地衣服）I do. I do. 小仙女：（拉着王子地手不由自主一直大叫I do. ） Cinderella,！Stop singing the song and making any wish.