有趣的故事英文

英语阅读在高考中一直占有相当大的比重,因而英语阅读教学尤为重要。我分享关于有趣的英语故事短文，希望可以帮助大家!

I teach middle-school choir and occasionally have my own children in class. One day my son asked if he could have a pencil. As a teacher,I normally do not lend items to unprepared students;but as a mother，I help my children whenever I can. I asked my son whether he was speaking to his teacher or his mother. He replied，“It degends on who has the pencil."

我教初中的唱诗班，偶尔会教到自己的孩子。一天，我儿子问我是否能借给他一支铅笔。作为一位老师，我一般不借东西给那些不做课堂准备的学生。但作为一位母亲，我应随时帮助我的孩子。于是，我问儿子他是在跟老师说话，还是在跟母亲说话。而他却说:“那要看谁有铅笔了。”

My friend Gilbert and some other truck drivers were to deliver loads of gravel out in the country. The directions they were given said to go down a certain road and, when they came to a cow tied to a fence post, to turn right.

我朋友吉尔波特和一些卡车司机到农村去送沙石。他们得到的地址只说沿着某条路一直走，当看到一头牛拴在蒸笆柱上时，就向右转。

While Gilbert was driving along slowly，he came upon a farmer leading a cow down the road. Assuming this was his landmark, he stopped and asked the man where his cow had been tied. After Gilbert explained why he wanted to know， the farmer took the cow back and tied it to the post. All the loads got delivered.

正当吉尔波特开车续续前进时，他看见一位农夫牵着一头牛沿路而来。他猜测这就是他要找的地方。他停下了车问那位农夫，他的牛刚才拴在什么地方。在吉尔波特向农夫说明了他为什么想知道这个问题的答案之后，那位农夫把牛牵回来，把它拴在柱子止，所有的货都运到了此地。

A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”

一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去，无所事是，为了使老婆高兴，他找到了精神病学专家。“你就躺在沙发上，我们来谈谈。”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说，没有的话，下次再讲也行。”

The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.

这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上，很快就入睡了。到了一小时，大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧，请交100元。”病人付了钱之后就走了

The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"

从此，那个人每周三、四来就诊。每次，他总是一句话也不说，光是睡觉，而且每次都付钱。第三周，病人来后坐下，然后又跳了起来。“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道，“你想出要说的话了吗?”

"Yes，do you need a partner ?"

“是的，你需要一个助手吗?”

若是你在 学习英语 的过程中感到很枯燥，不妨来读一些英语幽默小 故事 放松放松。英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣，相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。

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英语幽默小故事1

My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.

我丈夫，麦克是个开大巴士的。一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时，一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。麦克把车停靠在马路边，打开了车门。

After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.

过了足有一分钟，麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖，慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。

He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.

麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”

趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫，麦克欲关门，老妇人阻止道:“等一会，我妈妈还在后面呢!”

英语幽默小故事2

Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."

Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie发现，不管问他老婆什么问题，Morris总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲密的称呼，象蜜糖，我的爱人，亲爱的，甜心等等。Bernie对Morris说，“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的，结婚这么多年了，你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”Morris低下头，小声地对Bernie说，“老实跟你说吧，三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。”

英语幽默小故事3

Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."

两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。 其中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上这个就可以跑得过老虎吗?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”

英语幽默小故事4

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

一个女孩去 拜访 她的金发朋友，这个朋友最近养了两只“狗”，于是女孩问道：“它们叫什么名字呀?”

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

金发朋友说，一只叫Rolex，另一只叫Timex。

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?

女孩说：“哪有狗狗叫这个名字的。”

"HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

“那个……”金发朋友说。“他们是监视器!”

英语幽默小故事5

Too Much Pressure

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job，but now I found out the real reason：I’m tired because I’m overworked.The population of this country is 237 million.104 million are retired.That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school，which leaves 48 million to do the work.Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government，leaving 19 million to do the work.2.8 million are in the Armed Forces，which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.At any given time there are 188，000 people in hospitals，leaving 1，212，000 to do the work.Now，there are 1，211，998 people in prisons.That leaves just two people to do the work.You and me.And you’re sitting at the table reading jokes.

压力太大

多年以来我一直感到很疲惫，我曾经把原因归咎为缺乏睡眠以及来自于工作上的巨大压力。但是，我现在找到了真正的原因：我感到疲倦是因为我超负荷工作。我们这个国家有2.37亿人口。其中1.04亿已经退休了。还剩下1.33亿在工作。有8，500万人还在上学，工作的就剩下4，800万。这其中还有2，900万联邦政府雇员，真正做事的就剩1，900万人，又有280万人在服兵役，就剩下1，620万人在工作。从中再去掉各州和市政府的雇员1，480万人，还剩下140万人工作。但又有18.8万人生病住院，现在只剩下121.2万人工作。其中1，211，998人在坐牢。这样仅剩下两个人在工作，就是你和我。而你却坐在桌边看笑话。

英语幽默小故事6

Top 9 Reasons to Study Economics

Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."

Economists can supply it on demand .

You can talk about money without ever having to make any.

You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face .

Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out .

When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.

If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".

Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward , in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.

When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.

学习经济学的九大理由

经济学家们会武功：“小心我们的无影手。”

经济学家们能够做到有求必应。

你可以不必挣钱而对金钱夸夸其谈。

你可以开始拉着脸说“涓滴”这一术语了。

米克·贾格尔和阿诺德·施瓦辛格两人都学过经济学，看看他们后来都成为了什么样的人物。

站在失业队伍里的时候，至少你会知道自己为什么失业。

假如重新安排“经济学”这个词包含的字母，你得到的是“小丑的鼻子”。

伦理学教导我们坚守德行本身即是回报，在经济学中我们得到的教导则是获得回报本身即是德行。

喝醉了的时候，你可以告诉所有人你只是在体验边际效用递减规律而已。

英语幽默小故事7

Nobel Prize in Economics

Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing.

Or Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things. Specifically, Myrdal and Hayek shared one.

(A rumor has it that there was a similar case in neuroscience, Golgi and Cajal, maybe economists are not so different!)

诺贝尔经济学奖

两个持完全不同观点的人都能够获得诺贝尔奖，这种情况只有在经济学领域才会发生。

或者两个持完全不同观点的人能够分享诺贝尔奖，这种情况也只有在经济学领域才会发生。具体而言，缪尔达尔和哈耶克就是如此。

(有传言称在神经科学领域也有类似情形，比如戈尔吉和卡哈尔，所以经济学家也许并非那么另类。)

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I'll See to the RestA guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage."Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!""Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back."You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."其余的事由我负责一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”望采纳！