李吉吉jjj

在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。既然这样，那么你知道英语幽默小 故事 有哪些吗？下面我为大家带来英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事，希望大家喜欢! 英语幽默小故事1：Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 幽默故事翻译：中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 英语幽默小故事2：Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!" 幽默故事翻译： 在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。 一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要 出国 ，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。 后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。 琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。” “这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。 “噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。” “很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。” 英语幽默小故事3：Two Soldiers Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?" Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him. Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one. Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?" Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door. George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped. "What do you want now?" Bill said to him. George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?" 幽默故事翻译： 军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?” 比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。 乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。 这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?” 比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。 乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。 “你还要什么?”比尔问。 乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?” 英语幽默小故事4：Five Months Older The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised. "How old are you?" he said. "Eighteen, sir," said John. "But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?" "Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am." 幽默故事翻译：五个月大 第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。 可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。 “你多大了?”军医问。 “十八，长官。”约翰说。 “可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?” 约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。” 英语幽默小故事5：West Point My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point." One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point." 幽默故事翻译： 父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的 橄榄球 赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。” 一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。” 英语幽默小故事6：Present for Girlfriend At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked. The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again." 幽默故事翻译：送给女友的礼物 在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。 那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。” 英语幽默小故事7：Be Careful What You Wish For A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety. 幽默故事翻译：慎重许愿 一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。 庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。 妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。 接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 仙女拾起了 魔术 棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。 英语幽默小故事8：Wood Fire One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened." "Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?" 幽默故事翻译：森林之火 一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。” “那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?” 英语幽默小故事9：Best Reward A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him. "The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in." 幽默故事翻译：最好的奖赏 一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。 “最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。” 英语幽默小故事10：Napoleon Was ill Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year. "He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well." "No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!" "Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill." 幽默故事翻译：拿破仑病了 杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。 “他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。” “不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。” “先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”

食客小冬

一 英语趣味小故事 1. The Perfect Son. A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he *** oke? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he drink whiskey? A: No, he doesn't. B: Does he ever e home late? A: No, he doesn't. B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A: He will be six months old next Wednesday. 完美儿子 A:我有一个很完美的儿子. B:他抽烟吗? A:不抽. B:他喝威士忌酒吗? A:不喝. B:他会不会很晚回家? A:不会. B:我想你确实有一个完美儿子. 那他多大了? A:下个星期三就满6个月了. 2. I'm Trying to Stop It "Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it." “孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？” “没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。” 3. Sorry “I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you enty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” 4. Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example? John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short. 老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？ 约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。 5. Second language A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?" 一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。 母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。 母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。 二 有趣的英语小故事 两个人念对话，剩下一个人念旁白 Big Head “All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head” “Don't listen to them.”his mother forted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes” “Where's the shopping bag?” “I haven't got one,use your hat.” 大脑袋 “所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。” “别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。” “购物袋在哪？” “我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。” Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿？ 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。 三 英语幽默小故事50字左右（带翻译） Q: Why won’t the elephant use the puter? 为什么大象不玩电脑？ A: He’s afraid of the mouse! 他害怕老鼠！ 鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。 mouse [maʊs]n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人 2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。 "Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday." "Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor said. 一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。 “医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。” “哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。 3.A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院. 他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害." 医生说:"我怕他已经死了." 听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着." 妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." 4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" And God says: "A penny". Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" And God says: "a second", Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" And God says "In a second". 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话. 他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?" 上帝回答:"一便士." 男子又问:"那一百万年呢?" 上帝说:"一秒钟." 最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?" 上帝回答:"过一秒钟." 5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。 6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” 四 英语哲理小故事 让孩子阅读一些简单的幼儿英语故事，确实是一个很不错的补充学习，也能够极大的提高孩子的学习兴趣，让幼儿时期的孩子能够有一个英语方面很好的启蒙。下面给大家分享一则幼儿英语故事简单阅读的小故事，家长们可以读给孩子们听一下。 分享阿卡索的免费试听课，你可以试听试听： 这时兔子知道狐狸并没有死，他就以最快的速度跑开啦。 幼儿英语故事简单分享到这里。当然有趣的故事还有很多，家长们可以去阿卡索外教网了解更多的故事。 五 英语趣味故事 Story 1: Trick of Stealing Watermelons Ah Q still had the habit of stealing. In village Wee, the watermelons grown by the Zhang's were big and sweet which was known far and near. One night, Ah Q was very greedy to have some watermelon, so he invited Wang Hu to steal some. They crawled toward the watermelon field in the darkness. In the flickering candle light, they dimmly saw a watermelon keeper lying on a bamboo bed. They both were not so bold to go ahead, thus Ah Q grasped a *** all stone and threw it to the middle of the field. No response from the keeper, maybe he was in sleep. The o men crawled nearer. Meanwhile Ah Q touched something sticky, he put his hand to his nose, it *** elt terrible. "Fuck it!", cursed Ah Q in mind. Just now Ah Q heard a light sound, it sounded like the bellows. "It is snore," Ah Q thought, a great joy came into mind. Ah Q dragged Wang Hu to the bamboo bed in stealth. It was really snore. Ah Q whispered a while to Wang Hu's ear. The o men moved *** oothly and silently the bamboo bed together with the keeper to the brink of a pond nearby, especially with the shoe side of the bed facing the pond. After that they returned to the field, picked the biggest melons and filled o bags as if they were picking their own. Then they carried the bags away. About 200 or 300 meters away, Ah Q shouted to the field, "Someone stealing watermelons!" No sooner had the voice fallen than came a Pootone—the sound of something dropping into the water. Ah Q and Wang Hu giggled, going away without turning their heads. 故事之一：偷瓜妙计 阿Q依旧偷性不改。未庄张家的西瓜又大又甜，远近闻名。有天晚上，阿Q嘴馋，便约王胡一起摸黑爬到张家的西瓜地旁，摇曳的烛光中，隐约可见竹床躺着一位看瓜的伙计。二位不敢贸然行事，于是，阿Q先摸了一小块石子向瓜田中央扔去，看瓜的伙计没有反应，或许他睡着了。二人又向前爬了爬。阿Q的手突然摸着了一堆粘乎乎的东西，凑近鼻子一闻，酸臭酸臭，“妈妈的！”阿Q禁不住在心里骂道。这时隐约听见轻轻的象是拉风箱的声音。“对了，这是鼾声”，阿Q心想，不由一阵欣喜，拉着王胡朝竹床爬过去想探个究竟。的的确确是鼾声，阿Q对着王胡耳语一番。二人蹑手蹑脚地来到竹床边，轻轻地连人带竹床一起抬到离瓜地不远的水塘边，将竹床紧临水塘放好，并使放鞋的一边正对水塘。二人返回瓜地，放心大胆地如同在自家地里摘瓜一般，拣最大的摘了两大袋子，扛着袋子走了。走了约二三百米，阿Q回过头来大喊一声：“有人偷瓜罗！”随后听见远处扑通一声，阿Q和王胡呵呵直笑，便头也不回地去了。 But the teacher cried The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms. When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?" "Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!" 可是老师哭了 六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。 约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？” “哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”

许多多000

英语 故事 阅读对丰富小学生的语言知识和提高语言素养有着积极的意义,同时也是非常适合小学生的一种学习 渠道 。我分享关于有趣的英语故事短文，希望可以帮助大家!关于有趣的英语故事短文：The Beam There was once an enchanter(巫师，魔法师) who was standing in the midst of a great crowd of people performing his wonders. He had a cock brought in, which lifted a heavy beam and carried it as if it were as light as a feather. But a girl was present who had just found a bit of four-leaved clover, and had thus become so wise that no deception could stand out against her, and she saw that the beam was nothing but a straw. So she cried, "You people, do you not see that it is a straw that the cock is carrying, and no beam?" Immediately the enchantmentvanished, and the people saw what it was, and drove the magician away in shame and disgrace. He, however, full of inward(内部的) anger, said, "I will soon revenge myself?" After some time the girl's wedding-day came, and she was decked out, and went in a great procession over the fields to the place where the church was. All at once she came to a stream which was very much swollen, and there was no bridge and no plank to cross it. Then the bride nimbly took her clothes up, and wanted to wade through it. And just as she was thus standing in the water, a man, and it was the enchanter, cried mockingly close beside her, "Aha! Where are thine eyes that thou takest that for water?" Then her eyes were opened, and she saw that she was standing with her clothes lifted up in the middle of a field that was blue with the flowers of blue flax(亚麻). Then all the people saw it likewise, and chased her away withridicule and laughter. 关于有趣的英语故事短文：Sweet Porridge There was a poor but good little girl who lived alone with her mother, and they no longer had anything to eat. So the child went into the forest, and there an aged woman met her who was aware of her sorrow, and presented her with a little pot, which when she said, "Cook, little pot, cook," would cook good, sweet porridge, and when she said, "Stop, little pot," it ceasedto cook. The girl took the pot home to her mother, and now they were freed from their poverty and hunger, and ate sweet porridge as often as they chose. Once on a time when the girl had gone out, her mother said, "Cook, little pot, cook." And it did cook and she ate till she was satisfied, and then she wanted the pot to stop cooking, but did not know the word. So it went on cooking and the porridge rose over the edge, and still it cooked on until the kitchen and whole house were full, and then the next house, and then the whole street, just as if it wanted to satisfy the hunger of the whole world, and there was the greatest distress, but no one knew how to stop it. At last when only one single house remained, the child came home and just said, "Stop, little pot," and it stopped and gave up cooking, and whosoever wished to return to the town had to eat his way back. 关于有趣的英语故事短文：The lamb chased by a wolf A Wolf was chasing a Lamb, which took refuge in a temple. The Wolf urged it to come out of the precincts, and said, "If you don't, the priest is sure to catch you and offer you up in sacrifice on the altar." To which the Lamb replied, "Thanks, I think I'll stay where I am: I'd rather be sacrificed any day than be eaten up by a wolf." 关于有趣的英语故事短文：Dudley goes to Dinosaur Park One day, Sammy went for a walk in the mountains. He found a stone. It looked like a big egg. He took it home and put it by the window. One morning, Sammy heard a noise. The stone broke open. It was really an egg! A small animal climbed out and looked ta Sammy. It was a dinosaur. Sammy called it Dudley. Dudley was always hungry. He ate and ate and grew and grew. Soon he was bigger than Sammy. A man from Dinosaur Park read about Sammy and Dudley in the newspaper. He phoned Sammy and said, "Hello, Sammy. This is Mr Lee from Dinosaur Park come with Dudley and meet the children here. I'll give you 10000 dollars." Sammy said, "OK". A week later, Sammy got the money.

继续改一个

Story 1: Trick of Stealing WatermelonsAh Q still had the habit of stealing. In village Wee, the watermelons grown by the Zhang's were big and sweet which was known far and near. One night, Ah Q was very greedy to have some watermelon, so he invited Wang Hu to steal some. They crawled toward the watermelon field in the darkness. In the flickering candle light, they dimmly saw a watermelon keeper lying on a bamboo bed. They both were not so bold to go ahead, thus Ah Q grasped a small stone and threw it to the middle of the field. No response from the keeper, maybe he was in sleep. The two men crawled nearer. Meanwhile Ah Q touched something sticky, he put his hand to his nose, it smelt terrible. "Fuck it!", cursed Ah Q in mind. Just now Ah Q heard a light sound, it sounded like the bellows. "It is snore," Ah Q thought, a great joy came into mind. Ah Q dragged Wang Hu to the bamboo bed in stealth. It was really snore. Ah Q whispered a while to Wang Hu's ear. The two men moved smoothly and silently the bamboo bed together with the keeper to the brink of a pond nearby, especially with the shoe side of the bed facing the pond. After that they returned to the field, picked the biggest melons and filled two bags as if they were picking their own. Then they carried the bags away. About 200 or 300 meters away, Ah Q shouted to the field, "Someone stealing watermelons!" No sooner had the voice fallen than came a Pootone—the sound of something dropping into the water. Ah Q and Wang Hu giggled, going away without turning their heads.故事之一：偷瓜妙计阿Q依旧偷性不改。未庄张家的西瓜又大又甜，远近闻名。有天晚上，阿Q嘴馋，便约王胡一起摸黑爬到张家的西瓜地旁，摇曳的烛光中，隐约可见竹床躺着一位看瓜的伙计。二位不敢贸然行事，于是，阿Q先摸了一小块石子向瓜田中央扔去，看瓜的伙计没有反应，或许他睡着了。二人又向前爬了爬。阿Q的手突然摸着了一堆粘乎乎的东西，凑近鼻子一闻，酸臭酸臭，“妈妈的！”阿Q禁不住在心里骂道。这时隐约听见轻轻的象是拉风箱的声音。“对了，这是鼾声”，阿Q心想，不由一阵欣喜，拉着王胡朝竹床爬过去想探个究竟。的的确确是鼾声，阿Q对着王胡耳语一番。二人蹑手蹑脚地来到竹床边，轻轻地连人带竹床一起抬到离瓜地不远的水塘边，将竹床紧临水塘放好，并使放鞋的一边正对水塘。二人返回瓜地，放心大胆地如同在自家地里摘瓜一般，拣最大的摘了两大袋子，扛着袋子走了。走了约二三百米，阿Q回过头来大喊一声：“有人偷瓜罗！”随后听见远处扑通一声，阿Q和王胡呵呵直笑，便头也不回地去了。But the teacher cried The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms. When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?" "Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!" 可是老师哭了 六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。 约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？” “哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”

小开心文文

找两个笑话就可以了吧

海晴whisper

在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。既然这样，那么你知道英语幽默小 故事 有哪些吗？下面我为大家带来英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事，希望大家喜欢! 英语幽默小故事1：Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 幽默故事翻译：中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 英语幽默小故事2：Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!" 幽默故事翻译： 在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。 一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要 出国 ，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。 后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。 琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。” “这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。 “噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。” “很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。” 英语幽默小故事3：Two Soldiers Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?" Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him. Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one. Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?" Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door. George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped. "What do you want now?" Bill said to him. George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?" 幽默故事翻译： 军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?” 比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。 乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。 这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?” 比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。 乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。 “你还要什么?”比尔问。 乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?” 英语幽默小故事4：Five Months Older The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised. "How old are you?" he said. "Eighteen, sir," said John. "But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?" "Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am." 幽默故事翻译：五个月大 第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。 可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。 “你多大了?”军医问。 “十八，长官。”约翰说。 “可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?” 约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。” 英语幽默小故事5：West Point My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point." One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point." 幽默故事翻译： 父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的 橄榄球 赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。” 一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。” 英语幽默小故事6：Present for Girlfriend At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked. The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again." 幽默故事翻译：送给女友的礼物 在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。 那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。” 英语幽默小故事7：Be Careful What You Wish For A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety. 幽默故事翻译：慎重许愿 一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。 庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。 妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。 接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 仙女拾起了 魔术 棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。 英语幽默小故事8：Wood Fire One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened." "Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?" 幽默故事翻译：森林之火 一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。” “那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?” 英语幽默小故事9：Best Reward A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him. "The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in." 幽默故事翻译：最好的奖赏 一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。 “最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。” 英语幽默小故事10：Napoleon Was ill Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year. "He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well." "No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!" "Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill." 幽默故事翻译：拿破仑病了 杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。 “他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。” “不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。” “先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”

我来打包带走

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。”

家的塑造者

在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。既然这样，那么你知道英语幽默小 故事 有哪些吗？下面我为大家带来英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事，希望大家喜欢! 英语幽默小故事1：Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 幽默故事翻译：中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 英语幽默小故事2：Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!" 幽默故事翻译： 在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。 一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要 出国 ，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。 后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。 琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。” “这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。 “噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。” “很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。” 英语幽默小故事3：Two Soldiers Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?" Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him. Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one. Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?" Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door. George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped. "What do you want now?" Bill said to him. George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?" 幽默故事翻译： 军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?” 比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。 乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。 这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?” 比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。 乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。 “你还要什么?”比尔问。 乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?” 英语幽默小故事4：Five Months Older The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised. "How old are you?" he said. "Eighteen, sir," said John. "But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?" "Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am." 幽默故事翻译：五个月大 第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。 可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。 “你多大了?”军医问。 “十八，长官。”约翰说。 “可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?” 约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。” 英语幽默小故事5：West Point My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point." One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point." 幽默故事翻译： 父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的 橄榄球 赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。” 一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。” 英语幽默小故事6：Present for Girlfriend At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked. The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again." 幽默故事翻译：送给女友的礼物 在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。 那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。” 英语幽默小故事7：Be Careful What You Wish For A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety. 幽默故事翻译：慎重许愿 一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。 庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。 妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。 接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 仙女拾起了 魔术 棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。 英语幽默小故事8：Wood Fire One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened." "Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?" 幽默故事翻译：森林之火 一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。” “那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?” 英语幽默小故事9：Best Reward A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him. "The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in." 幽默故事翻译：最好的奖赏 一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。 “最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。” 英语幽默小故事10：Napoleon Was ill Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year. "He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well." "No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!" "Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill." 幽默故事翻译：拿破仑病了 杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。 “他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。” “不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。” “先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”

小甜甜不赖你

1、TWO HEARTS BEATING Nurse: H 两颗心脏在跳动 护士：手术后你感觉怎样？ 病人：十分好，只是我能感觉到我体内有两颗心脏在跳动。 护士：怪不得给你做手术的大夫刚才在到处寻找他的手表。 2、THE FIRST TIME Patient: I' s frightened, this is first peratin. Surgen: I n Mther: H Neighbr: ur vercat? But hw culd it ae such a nise? Husband: I... I happened t be inside the cat. 精力旺盛的妻子 邻居：昨天夜里我听见你家屋前有很大的声音，你们出了什么事吗？ 丈夫：没什么。我的妻子有点不高兴，把我的大衣给扔到窗外去了。 邻居：你的大衣？扔掉大衣怎么会有那么大的声音？ 丈夫：我......我恰好也在大衣里面。 8、Friend fr Dinner &qut;Hne,&qut; said the husband t his wife, &qut;I invited a friend he fr supper.&qut; &qut;What? Are u craz? The huse is a ess, I haven't been shpping, all the dishes are dirt, and I dn't feel lie cing a fanc eal!&qut; &qut;I nw all that.&qut; &qut;Then wh did u invite a friend fr supper?&qut; &qut;Because the pr fl's thining abut getting arried.&qut; 请朋友吃饭 “亲爱的.，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。” “什么？你疯了吗？我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。” “这些我全都知道。” “那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭？” “因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。” 9、GOOD ADVICE The prtl sales anager was getting read t leave his dctr's ffice after a rutine exainatin. &qut;Here,&qut; said the dctr, &qut;fllw this diet, and I want t see three-furths f u bac here fr a chec-up in three nths.&qut; 忠告 臃肿的销售经理做过常规体检后，正要离开大夫的诊室。“听着，”大夫说，“遵守这个食谱，我希望3个月后再来这儿体检时能见到四分之三的你。” 10、SHE'D RATHER BU A GIFT While n a trip, M realized that she had frgtten a present fr Dad's birthda. &qut;That's a,&qut; he said, &qut;The nl thing I want is fr u t lve, hnr and be.&qut; M pndered that idea and then replied &qut;I'd rather bu u a gift.&qut; 她宁愿买一件礼物 旅途中，妈妈想起她忘记给爸爸买一件生日礼物。&qut;没关系，&qut;他说，&qut;我最想要的东西是你的爱、忠贞和温顺。&qut;妈妈沉思片刻后回答说，&qut;我宁愿给你买一件礼物。

奥迪风度

有趣的英语小故事 一枚硬币会经历什么?下面是我整理的有趣的英语故事，欢迎大家阅读! 一枚硬币的'旅程 One day, Dora’s mother gave her a coin, It was a bit dirty, so Dora washed it. Then it started talking to Dora. Today I talked to a coin, When it was made, it was nice and clean. People took the coin to a bank. It stayed there for a few days. A person at the bank gave the bank gave the coin to a man. My mother went to buy some cake from the man’s shop. The man gave the coin to her as part of her change. She dropped the coin. A street cleaner saw it and picked it up. He returned it to my mother. She gave it to me as pocket money. I washed the coin to make it clean again. 一天，多拉的母亲给了她一枚硬币。它有点儿脏，所以多拉把它洗了洗。听听这个硬币的英语故事。 今天我和一枚硬币谈话了，当它被铸造的时候，它很好看而且干净.人们把钱存到银行。它在那儿待几天.银行的人把这枚硬币给了一名男子。我的母亲从这名男子的商店里买一些蛋糕。这名男子将这枚硬币作为零钱的一部分找给她。她掉了这枚硬币。一位街道清洁工看到了并把它捡起来。他把她还给了我母亲。母亲把它当零花钱给我了，我洗了这枚硬币，让它再次变干净。 The Two Soldiers And The Robber 两个士兵和强盗 Two Soldiers travelling together were set upon by a Robber. One of them ran away, but the other stood his ground, and laid about him so lustily with his sword that the Robber was fain to fly and leave him in peace. When the coast was clear the timid one ran back, and, flourishing his weapon, cried in a threatening voice, “Where is he? Let me get at him, and I’ll soon let him know whom he’s got to deal with.” But the other replied, “You are a little late, xiaogushi8.com my friend: I only wish you had backed me up just now, even if you had done no more than speak, for I should have been encouraged, believing your words to be true. As it is, calm yourself, and put up your sword: there is no further use for it. You may delude others into thinking you’re as brave as a lion: but I know that, at the first sign of danger, you run away like a hare.” 两个士兵一起赶路，途中被一个强盗所劫。其中一个士兵马上逃跑了，另一个则勇敢地握着剑立在原地，强盗不得不其他而逃。这时候，那个胆小的士兵跑过来，抽出剑，壮着胆子大喝一声：“他去哪里了?让我来对付他，我要让他知道面对的是什么人。”然而，那名勇敢的士兵说：“你来晚了，我的朋友。要是你刚才能帮我就好了，即便只是嘴上这样说也好，因为我会受到你这番话的鼓舞，并且相信这些话都说真的。而现在，还是请你把剑收好，已经没有必要再用它了。你只能欺骗其他人，让人们以为你像雄狮一样勇敢;而我却知道，在遇到危险时，你会像兔子一样落荒而逃。” The Flu Larry has the flu. His nose is running. He coughs a lot. He sneezes a lot. When he coughs, he covers his mouth. When he sneezes, he covers his mouth. When his nose is running, he wipes his nose with a tissue. Larry's mother is taking care of him. She makes hot soup for him. She gives him fresh orange juice. She makes him comfortable in his bed. She turns on the TV so he can watch TV in his bed. She turns out the light so he can sleep in his bed. She gives him medicine so he will get better. Larry will get better soon.

cdzsmz5288

1、简单英语小故事——老人和老猫 An old man has a cat. The cat is very old, too. He runs very quickly. And his teeth are bad. One evening, the old cat sees a little mouse. He catches it, but he can’t eat it because his teeth are not strong enough. The mouse runs away. The old man is very angry. He beats his cat. He says: “You are a fool cat. I will punish you!” the cat is very sad. He thinks：“When I was young, I worked hard for you. Now you don’t like me because I’m too old to work. You should know you are old, too.” 一个年迈的老人养一只猫。这只猫也非常老了。她跑得很快，但是牙齿很糟糕。一天王还是那个，这只老猫看见一只小老鼠。它抓住了小老鼠，但是它却吃不了它，因为它的牙齿不够锋利了。这只小老鼠逃跑了。 老人很生气，他打了小猫，并且对它说：“你这只蠢猫！我要惩罚你！”猫非常伤心，它想：“在我还年轻的时候，我为你努力工作。现在你却因为我太老了不能工作而不喜欢我。你应该知道你也老了。” 2、英语小故事——驴子与蚱蜢 AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers chirping, was highly enchanted; and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied, The dew. The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a short time died of hunger. 驴子听见蚱蜢唱歌，被美妙动听的歌声所打动，自己也想能发出同样悦耳动听的声音，便 羡慕地问他们吃些什么，才能发出如此美妙的声音来。蚱蜢答道：“吃露水。”驴子便也只吃露水，没多久就饿死了。这个故事告诉人们不要企望非份之物。 3、英语小故事——三个好朋友 One day, a monkey rides his bike near the river. This time he sees a lion under a tree. The lion runs at him. He is afraid and falls into the river. He can’t swim. He shouts. The rabbit hears him. He jumps into the river. The rabbit swims to the monkey, but he can’t help him. Luckily, an elephant comes along. He is very strong. He helps the rabbit and monkey. Three friends are very happy. They go to the elephant’s home. Then, three of them become good friends. 一天， 一只猴子在河边骑车。这时他看见树下有一只狮子，狮子向他跑来。他非常的害怕，掉进河里。他不会游泳，大叫起来。兔子听见了，跳进水里，但他却没有办法救猴子。幸运的是，一只大象过来了。大象非常强壮，救出了兔子和猴子。他们来到大象的家，在那里吃了一顿大餐。从此他们成了好朋友。

吃尸体的秃鹰

只记得一个：Italy:I trust and love you.

美丽华华

原文 Sam had a dog.Its name was Tod.It was very helpful,but it ate too much..So he didn't like it.He wanted to kill Tod. He tied Tod in a bag and put it in the small boat.He rowed the boat to the middle of a big river. Just as he threw the poor animal into the river,the boat began to sink. Both began Sam and Tod fell into the river. Tod was able to swim,but Sam couldn't.The dog bit the rope and broke it. It tried its best to swim to save Sam. The man was saved,so he was very thankful to the dog .He didn't want to kill the dog any more .From then on, he gave the dog as much food as it wanted. 译文 萨姆有一只狗。他的名字叫Tod。它很有用，但是它食量很大。所以萨姆不喜欢他。萨姆想杀Tod。萨姆把Tod绑在一个袋子里，把它带上船。他把船划到一条大河的中央。就在他把这可怜的动物扔下河的时候，船开始下沉，萨姆和Tod都掉进河里面了。 Tod会游泳，但是萨姆不会。狗把绳子咬断。它经过试验这是游泳去救萨姆就好的方法。萨姆获救了，所以萨姆很感激Tod。他一点也不想杀它了。从那以后，小狗想要多少粮食萨姆给多少。

飞雪樱子

Story 1: Trick of Stealing WatermelonsAh Q still had the habit of stealing. In village Wee, the watermelons grown by the Zhang's were big and sweet which was known far and near. One night, Ah Q was very greedy to have some watermelon, so he invited Wang Hu to steal some. They crawled toward the watermelon field in the darkness. In the flickering candle light, they dimmly saw a watermelon keeper lying on a bamboo bed. They both were not so bold to go ahead, thus Ah Q grasped a small stone and threw it to the middle of the field. No response from the keeper, maybe he was in sleep. The two men crawled nearer. Meanwhile Ah Q touched something sticky, he put his hand to his nose, it smelt terrible. "Fuck it!", cursed Ah Q in mind. Just now Ah Q heard a light sound, it sounded like the bellows. "It is snore," Ah Q thought, a great joy came into mind. Ah Q dragged Wang Hu to the bamboo bed in stealth. It was really snore. Ah Q whispered a while to Wang Hu's ear. The two men moved smoothly and silently the bamboo bed together with the keeper to the brink of a pond nearby, especially with the shoe side of the bed facing the pond. After that they returned to the field, picked the biggest melons and filled two bags as if they were picking their own. Then they carried the bags away. About 200 or 300 meters away, Ah Q shouted to the field, "Someone stealing watermelons!" No sooner had the voice fallen than came a Pootone—the sound of something dropping into the water. Ah Q and Wang Hu giggled, going away without turning their heads.故事之一：偷瓜妙计阿Q依旧偷性不改。未庄张家的西瓜又大又甜，远近闻名。有天晚上，阿Q嘴馋，便约王胡一起摸黑爬到张家的西瓜地旁，摇曳的烛光中，隐约可见竹床躺着一位看瓜的伙计。二位不敢贸然行事，于是，阿Q先摸了一小块石子向瓜田中央扔去，看瓜的伙计没有反应，或许他睡着了。二人又向前爬了爬。阿Q的手突然摸着了一堆粘乎乎的东西，凑近鼻子一闻，酸臭酸臭，“妈妈的！”阿Q禁不住在心里骂道。这时隐约听见轻轻的象是拉风箱的声音。“对了，这是鼾声”，阿Q心想，不由一阵欣喜，拉着王胡朝竹床爬过去想探个究竟。的的确确是鼾声，阿Q对着王胡耳语一番。二人蹑手蹑脚地来到竹床边，轻轻地连人带竹床一起抬到离瓜地不远的水塘边，将竹床紧临水塘放好，并使放鞋的一边正对水塘。二人返回瓜地，放心大胆地如同在自家地里摘瓜一般，拣最大的摘了两大袋子，扛着袋子走了。走了约二三百米，阿Q回过头来大喊一声：“有人偷瓜罗！”随后听见远处扑通一声，阿Q和王胡呵呵直笑，便头也不回地去了。But the teacher cried The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms. When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?" "Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!" 可是老师哭了 六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。 约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？” “哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”

华鑫绿创

儿童故事是儿童成长的必备,儿童成长在很大程度上决定了国家的文化价值观,下面这些是我为大家推荐的几篇小班幼儿英语故事。 Ant day in the morning, took one look red ants up toward the window. It's a nice day. It seems today is a good day. Red ants go outside for a walk, he holds up well, how the festival of the ants. Suddenly, he found very special very special. Red ants friends waved to him, with a loud voice. "Wow, great! What is this?" Friends say. Red ants said: "this is what I find ants." They decided to put the gifts to take home. Push away to the ants, this thing don't move. "Wow, great! What is this?" Their neighbors voles. Red ants said: "this is what I find ants." They decided to put the gifts to take home. With the help of two rats, the ant festival gifts home. But they didn't walk far, just too tired to go any farther. "Wow, great! What is this?" The little squirrel came voles neighbors. The red ants and voles said: "this is we find ants." Ant festival gifts, with the help of the squirrel to carry home. But he didn't walk far, just too tired to go any farther. "Wow, great! What is this?" Rabbit rabbit to the squirrel neighbors. Red ants, rats and squirrels, said: "this is we find ants." Rabbit rabbit, with the help of ant festival gift to be brought home. But she didn't walk far, just too tired to go any farther. "Wow, great! What is this?" Sun wukong to the rabbit rabbit neighbors. Red ants, rats, squirrels, and rabbit rabbit said: "this is we find ant day gifts." With the help of the Monkey King, the ant day gifts home. But he didn't walk far, just too tired to go any farther. Oh, when will this arrive home? Dark red ants watched day, want to throw away the ants day gifts home. But, my friends don't agree with, they use the hand caught ants day gifts. "Wow, what a great great! What happened here?" Just at that time, the Monkey King's neighbour long nose to bear. Red ants, rats, squirrels, rabbit rabbit, and the Monkey King said: "this is what we found, but moved not ant day gifts home." Long nose bear said: "let me help you, a piece of cake!" Long nose bear carrying a lot of things, three steps two step is go back to the house of the red ants. It's getting dark, red ants, please friends to eat barbecue. They also want to be with friends, and share the ants. Not think that is a fire of gift "嗵" rang, fly in the sky. It turns out that this is a festival of fireworks! Red ants froze. Everyone said, this is really the best ant festival gift oh. Ants, festival happiness! Late, my beautiful birds, now already too late, you nest destroyed by the wind, oh, you are hard to build in the nest on the tree. Late, the cord of the section, this section is your mouth, it can fully let the nest becomes strong and sturdy, but this unfortunately has happened, poor nest has rolled down the slope. Oh! You waiting too long. Late, I'm busy little bees, this is common sense, pollen will fell off the flowers; Even if you are under the petals flying again carefully and whether to use, look, it is going to fall off. Oh! If you are not so slow, speed up, believe that won't be too late, at this moment, pollen may still remain. How sad ah, look at you now, however, this only prove that you have already too late. Children, both life and study, must keep firmly in mind, action must be not too late, it will bring you a lot of unnecessary trouble and annoyance, and even misfortune. Oh, not afraid of an hour earlier, nothing is late for a minute. Especially reminds is, when you are playing, my way to school, but don't delay too long time. To animals in the forest acrobatics competition, many animals have to attend. You see, really busy! The elephant in the weight. Look, it with nose lift weight lifting lever, lift can be serious! The dog in the swing, it can be happy to play! Little monkey up peach, it really must! Sea lions with its nose top up a yellow balls, it seems to hold up a moon! Ha ha ha! Bear in skateboarding, one not careful it, almost fell down, well, its skilled, didn't fall down! My favorite is the peacock. Look, its tail the tail like a big fan. Tail feathers on the eyespots reflects the glorious like countless small mirror, beautiful! Mother told me that the peacock is the feather want to use it to attract people's attention. I should like a peacock to show their elegant demeanour.

会飞的猪lucky

范文： There are three persons in my family, my mother, my father and I We live together happily and there are many interesting stories about my family.Now I want to tell you one of them. 我们家有三口人：我的妈妈、爸爸还有我。我们在一起幸福地生活，我们家有许多有趣的故事。现在我想给你讲讲其中一个。 My father is a hard-working man But sometimes he works so hard that he can't remember the date. One day, he wanted to get up early as usual, but he wasn't able to do that, because he forgot to set the alarm clock the night before. 我爸爸是一个工作认真的人。但有的时候，他工作太勤奋以至于忘了日期。一天，爸爸想和平常一样早起，但是他没能做到，因为他前一天忘记设置闹钟了。 When he got up, he did everything in a hurry and left home quickly. But he came back home soon with an angry face. He shouted at my mother and me, " Why don't you tell me it is Sunday today？" 当他起床时，他匆匆忙忙地做完一切事情就离开家了。但是他很快就回来了，脸上满是愤怒。他向我妈妈和我大喊，“你们为什么没有告诉我今天是星期天？” We first stood there confused, and then burst into laughter What an interesting family I have！What about your family？ 我们一开始站在那里非常困惑，后来放声大笑。多么有趣的家庭！你的家庭怎么样呢？

大锅饭饭饭饭

1、简单英语小故事——老人和老猫 An old man has a cat. The cat is very old, too. He runs very quickly. And his teeth are bad. One evening, the old cat sees a little mouse. He catches it, but he can’t eat it because his teeth are not strong enough. The mouse runs away. The old man is very angry. He beats his cat. He says: “You are a fool cat. I will punish you!” the cat is very sad. He thinks：“When I was young, I worked hard for you. Now you don’t like me because I’m too old to work. You should know you are old, too.” 一个年迈的老人养一只猫。这只猫也非常老了。她跑得很快，但是牙齿很糟糕。一天王还是那个，这只老猫看见一只小老鼠。它抓住了小老鼠，但是它却吃不了它，因为它的牙齿不够锋利了。这只小老鼠逃跑了。 老人很生气，他打了小猫，并且对它说：“你这只蠢猫！我要惩罚你！”猫非常伤心，它想：“在我还年轻的时候，我为你努力工作。现在你却因为我太老了不能工作而不喜欢我。你应该知道你也老了。” 2、英语小故事——驴子与蚱蜢 AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers chirping, was highly enchanted; and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied, The dew. The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a short time died of hunger. 驴子听见蚱蜢唱歌，被美妙动听的歌声所打动，自己也想能发出同样悦耳动听的声音，便 羡慕地问他们吃些什么，才能发出如此美妙的声音来。蚱蜢答道：“吃露水。”驴子便也只吃露水，没多久就饿死了。这个故事告诉人们不要企望非份之物。 3、英语小故事——三个好朋友 One day, a monkey rides his bike near the river. This time he sees a lion under a tree. The lion runs at him. He is afraid and falls into the river. He can’t swim. He shouts. The rabbit hears him. He jumps into the river. The rabbit swims to the monkey, but he can’t help him. Luckily, an elephant comes along. He is very strong. He helps the rabbit and monkey. Three friends are very happy. They go to the elephant’s home. Then, three of them become good friends. 一天， 一只猴子在河边骑车。这时他看见树下有一只狮子，狮子向他跑来。他非常的害怕，掉进河里。他不会游泳，大叫起来。兔子听见了，跳进水里，但他却没有办法救猴子。幸运的是，一只大象过来了。大象非常强壮，救出了兔子和猴子。他们来到大象的家，在那里吃了一顿大餐。从此他们成了好朋友。

土著零食家

26个英文字母的故事 在一所英文房子里，住着26个好朋友，它们就是26个英文字母：A、B、C、D、E、F、G、H、I、J、K、L、M、N、O、P、Q、R、S、T、U、V、W、X、Y、Z。A是它们的老大，，他最擅长体育，因为他有两条长长的腿；B长的胖胖的，朋友们都叫他“小猪B”；C喜欢唱歌，“F4”是她的偶像；D比“小猪B”还贪吃，是贪吃大王；E是小小音乐家，他会拉小提琴；……总之，26个英文字母各自有各自的爱好与特长。 Ｏ是家里的小厨师。这天，Ｏ像往常一样，第一个起床。她来到厨房，准备为伙伴们做早餐，可是她看见餐桌上放着一些山珍海味的剩菜，想起每天晚上为了第二天能早起床给大家做早饭，她很早就谁下了。Ｏ恍然大悟，原来伙伴们晚上偷偷的吃好吃的。这时，其它的２５个英文字母也都起来了，他们看见Ｏ在厨房里呆呆地站着，正想跟她解释。Ｏ一气之下冲出了家去，她猜想，伙伴们一定会出来找她，然后把她请回去。可是２５个英文字母并没有出来找她，而是在家忙碌着。这可把Ｏ给气坏了，她要看看，他们晚上到底要干什么。 夜幕降临了，天空中群星闪烁。Ｏ来到窗户下，她看见了意想不到的情景：２５个英文字母正在喂１０只小猫吃鱼。原来，这１０只小猫是Ｈ在买菜回来的时候发现的，好像是走丢了的，Ｈ看它们可怜，就把它们带回家来。大家都知道Ｏ最怕猫，她连狮子、蛇都不怕，可她就是怕猫，所以大家伙等Ｏ睡下后，就开始喂猫了。原来这一切，都是Ｏ误会他们了。 Ｏ走了进去，她低着头，向伙伴们道歉：“对不起，是我错怪你们了。”Ａ走过来，拍着她的肩膀说：“没关系，我们已经原谅你了。”这时，从Ａ身后突然蹦出一只小猫。“啊”一声尖叫，Ｏ又一次冲出门去，大家哈哈大笑起来。 从此以后，２６个英文字母又成了形影不离的好朋友了。

萌萌哒蜗牛

“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面我为大家带来英语趣味幽默小故事三则，欢迎大家阅读! 英语趣味幽默小故事：高薪 A famous lawyer always lectured his office boy. He thought it was good for the boy although he didn't need it. One day it happened that the lawyer heard his office boy asked by the one employed next door, "How much does he pay you?" His office boy replied, "I get two thousand dollars a year. He pay some ten dollars a week in cash and the rest in his legal1 advice." 一位著名的律师老是给他办公室的勤杂工讲课，认为这对他有好处，尽管他并不需要。 有一天，这位律师偶然听到隔壁邻居的勤杂工问他的勤杂工：“他给你多少薪金?”他的勤杂工回答说：“我的年薪是2000美元，他每周付给我10美元左右的现金，其余的都算做他给我上课的学费啦。” 英语趣味幽默小故事：突然涨价 A man took his son to have an aching tooth pulled by the dentist. When it had been drawn1, the man was asked to pay ten dollars for it. "Ten dollars!" he exclaimed surprised and said to the dentist, "I know you only charge two dollars for pulling a tooth. Why do you raise the price at will(随意)?" The dentist said, "Yes, but your son cried out so loud that four other patients were frightened away." 有个人带着他的儿子去找牙医给他拔掉一只痛牙。牙医把他的牙齿拔掉后，要这个人付10美元。 这个人惊讶得大叫道：“10美元!我知道你拔一只牙是只收2美元，为什么任意涨价呀?” 牙医说：“没错，可是你的儿子喊叫得那么凶，把另外四个病人都吓跑了嘛!” 英语趣味幽默小故事：心不在焉 A man was getting very absent-minded. One evening he went to visit a friend and chatted with him for about two hours. When he was going to leave, his friend asked, "How is your family?" The absent-minded man suddenly exclaimed. "Good heavens! I forget my wife is having a fit(大发脾气)."

2岁半的猫

英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。 更多故事相关内容推荐↓↓↓ ★经典安徒生童话故事★ ★真实感人的故事★ ★中国历史寓言故事★ ★三国演义经典故事★ ★中外著名儿童故事★ 英语幽默小故事1 Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother. Why not? If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up  already. Everything that can be invented has been invented. 别捡地上的钱 一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。 “为什么不捡?” “假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。” “该发明的都已经被发明出来了。” 英语幽默小故事2 The Less You Know, the More Money You Make Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money. As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done. Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make. 知识越少挣钱越多 定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。 下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明： 假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。 假设二：时间就是金钱。 每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。 因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。 结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。 英语幽默小故事3 They Should Be Playing at Night A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to  some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over  to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for  their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about  the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on  me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night." 他们本该在晚上打球 神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。” 英语幽默小故事4 A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance. 一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。” 英语幽默小故事5 Even My Driver Can Answer that Question A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on  the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture. The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it." 甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题 一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。 司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。” 英语幽默小故事相关 文章 ： ★ 英语幽默小故事合集5篇 ★ 英语幽默小故事合集5篇 ★ 英语幽默小故事10篇 ★ 英语幽默小故事合集7篇 ★ 幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的 ★ 英语幽默小故事10篇(2) ★ 英语幽默小故事汇总大全 ★ 英语幽默小故事四篇 ★ 英语小故事5分钟幽默 ★ 英语幽默小故事带翻译精选