荷塘月色的英文

2.3.2 四个英译本的介绍 第一个译本是由朱春申翻译，他传达了原文的审美观念，并在《荷塘月色》的译本中选用了最合适的词语。第二个译本是著名的译者王淑升翻译的，第三个译本是由杨宪益和他的妻子戴乃迭翻译的。他们的翻译体现出：译出语言要忠实于译入语言的深层意义以及原文的文化：译出语言可有些许洋味，他们的审美思想在《荷塘月色》中很好地体现出来了。第四个译本是李明在2005年翻译的。因此在这个译本中，有很多新思想和新方法。 3 讨论 3.1 语音 3.1.1 韵律 汉语是一种带声调的语言，英语是一种带重音的语言，散文的韵律相当重要。对于英译本来说，展现汉语译本的韵律是一种很大的挑战。 C：“像闪电般。” E1：“like streak of lightness.” E2：“with the suddenness of lightness.” E3：“in a flash.” E4：“like a streak of lightness” 在汉语译本中，四个汉字会加快韵律。读者能看到并感受到其震颤，正如汉字译本中的韵律一样，在E1里也有四个重音节。翻译能给读者视觉和感觉上的强烈感觉。在E2中，作者将四个音节挑战到九个，这使得句子速度变得更加的慢。E4的韵律几乎和E1相同，E3的韵律比其他三个快。 3.2 词汇 3.2.1 重叠词 在汉语译本中，叠音词展现了声音与意义的美感。在英译本中，译者使用形容词或副词而不用叠音词。 叠音词是汉语中一种普通的语言现象。它使语言更加生动形象。它的作用是强调情感，加重韵律。在英语中很少有叠词。它的大部分是拟人化，如bubble-bubble。在汉译本中有27对叠音词。其中十对在第四段。他们可描述睡莲的状态、颜色、芳香、叶子和水。但在英译本中，译者将叠音词都改成了普通词。例如，汉译本中的“亭亭”传达了跳舞女孩苗条的身材。“星星”描述了满天星的美丽。英译本没能翻译出作者对睡莲的爱与文章的美丽。这是由于不同的语言特点导致的。 3.3 修辞 “隐喻或明喻可以使话语变得美不胜收，它可以深化作品的主题和宗旨”(GWTurner， 1973：133)。在这里，把第四段作为例子来进行分析。在作品的翻译中，修辞的运用可以产生积极的效果。 3.3.1 明喻及通感 C：“微风过去送来缕缕清香， 仿佛远处高楼上渺茫的歌声似的。” E1：“A breeze stirs，sending over breaths of fragrance，like faint singing drifting from a distant building.” E2：“Their subtle fragrance wafted by the passing breeze，in whiffs airy as he notes of a song coming faintly from some distant tower.” E3：“The breeze carried past gusts of fragrance，like the strains of a song faintly heard from a far-off tower.” E4：“When a breeze passes，it wafts breaths of fragrance，which are like faint singing drifting from a far-away building.” 中文版的尝试使用通感来用缕缕清香比喻渺茫的歌声，使得人们在文字中感觉得到池塘的美丽。所有四个英文版本均采用了明喻以取代通感。他们通过嗅觉和听觉来表达基本的效果。选择不同结构的句子和不同的词语都会使翻译程度不同。E1翻译得很好，它使读者感到莲花的动态美。“drifting from a distant”还运用了头韵的修辞手法。E2翻译的不太理想。翻译的过长、甚至降低了通感的程度。E3翻译的词语过于简单，如“carried”和“heard”也过于肤浅。总体来说，E4的翻译是最好的。 3.3.2 暗喻 暗喻源于希腊。在暗喻里如“like”和“as”这些明显的词语是不可能找到的。在中文版里，“叶子本是肩并肩密密地挨着……”显示了叶子的静态。他们无法像人类和动物一样站立。第二句并没有翻译这句话，它会影响到文章总体的感觉。第三句使用了词语“serried”来表明叶子密切的程度。这个词是相当忠实于中文版的。但“bent”却不在情景之中。在第四句中，“Jostling and overlapping”夸大了原文的含义。第一句的翻译总体上是最恰当的。虽然这些话不是很华丽，却表达了作者的意愿。 4 总结 从文体分析角度来说，由朱纯深翻译的译本是最忠于中文原文的。选词几乎都很正确。它使用了许多翻译技巧、句子结构和修辞。他的翻译再现了中文原文的文体并体现了原文的音美和意境美。第二个由王淑升翻译的译本就有些欠缺、尤其是在结构上。在他的译本中，第三自然段和第七自然段被删除了。这样使得文章结构和意义都变得不完整。第七自然段是关于采莲的情景。《采莲赋》在中文原文中是一首非常重要的诗。由杨宪益和戴乃迭翻译的第三个译本结合了中西方文化，译者再现散文的神和美、尤其是容易被散文忽略的细节。这表现了译者对原文恰到好处的理解力。在译文中有一些洋味，比如正式语、非正式语以及一些古英语。在某种程度上它减少了散文的中国味。由李明翻译的第四个译本中是最新的。因此，在这个译本中有其他三个译本的影子。其中的一些词语用的和其他三个译本一样。参考他人的长处是一个很好的习惯，但如果不能恰当地使用，译者很容易丢失自己的翻译风格。 参考文献：[1]刘世生，朱瑞青. Patterns in language： Stylistics for students of language and literature[M].北京：北京大学出版社，2000.[2]Turner. G.W.(1973). Stylistics. Great Britain：Penguin Book[3]冯庆华.文体翻译论[M].上海：上海外语教育出版社，2002.[4]朱纯深.翻译探微：语言、文本、诗学(最新增订本)[M].南京：凤凰出版传媒集团，译林出版社，2008.

总共四个版本的翻译，这是最容易理解的The last few days have found me very restless. This evening as I sat in the yard to enjoy the cool, it struck me how different the lotus pool I pass every day must look under a full moon. The moon was sailing higher and higher up the heavens, the sound of childish laughter had died away from the lane beyond our wall, and my wife was in the house patting Juner and humming a lullaby to him. I quietly slipped on a long gown, and walked out leaving the door on the latch. A cinder - path winds along by the side of the pool. It is off the beaten track and few pass this way even by day, so at night it is still more quiet. Trees grow thick and bosky all around the pool, with willows and other trees I cannot name by the path. On nights when there is no moon the track is almost terrifyingly dark, but tonight it was quite clear, though the moonlight was pale. Strolling alone down the path, hands behind my back, I felt as if the whole earth and sky were mine and I had stepped outside my usual self into another world. I like both excitement and stillness, under the full moon, I could think of whatever I pleased or of nothing at all, and that gave me a sense of freedom. All daytime duties could be disregarded. That was the advantage of solitude: I could savour to the full that expanse of fragrant lotus and the moonlight. As far as eye could see, the pool with its winding margin was covered with trim leaves, which rose high out of the water like the flared skirts of dancing girls. And starring these tiers of leaves were white lotus flowers, alluringly open or bashfully in bud, like glimmering pearls, stars in an azure sky, or beauties fresh from the bath. The breeze carried past gusts of fragrance, like the strains of a song faintly heard from a far-off tower. And leaves and blossoms trembled slightly, while in a flash the scent was carried away. As the closely serried leaves bent, a tide of opaque emerald could be glimpsed. That was the softly running water beneath, hidden from sight, its colour invisible, though the leaves looked more graceful than ever. Moonlight cascaded like water over the lotus leaves and flowers, and a light blue mist floating up from the pool made them seem washed in milk or caught in a gauzy dream. Though the moon was full, a film of pale clouds in the sky would not allow its rays to shine through brightly; but I felt this was all to the good - though refreshing sleep is indispensable, short naps have a charm all their own. As the moon shone from behind them, the dense trees on the hills threw checkered shadows, dark forms loomed like devils, and the sparse, graceful shadows of willows seemed painted on the lotus leaves. The moonlight on the pool was not uniform, but light and shadow made up a harmonious rhythm like a beautiful tune played on a violin. Far and near, high and low around the pool were trees, most of them willows. These trees had the pool entirely hemmed in, the only small clearings left being those by the path, apparently intended for the moon. All the trees were somber as dense smoke, but among them you could make out the luxuriant willows, while faintly above the tree-tops loomed distant hills - their general outline only. And between the trees appeared one or two street lamps, listless as the eyes of someone drowsy. The liveliest sounds at this hour were the cicadas chirruping on the trees and the frogs croaking in the pool; but this animation was theirs alone, I had no part in it. Then lotus-gathering flashed into my mind. This was an old custom south of the Yangtse, which apparently originated very early and was most popular in the period of the Six Kingdoms,* as we see from the songs of the time. The lotus were picked by girls in small boats, who sang haunting songs as they padded. They turned out in force, we may be sure, and there were spectators too, for that was a cheerful festival and a romantic one. We have a good account of it in a poem by Emperor Yuan of the Liang dynasty called Lotus Gatherers:Deft boys and pretty girlsReach an understanding while boating;Their prows veer slowly,But the winecups pass quickly;Their oars are entangled,As they cut through the duckweed,And girls with slender waistsTurn to gaze behind them.Now spring and summer meet,Leaves are tender, flowers fresh;With smiles they protect their silks,Drawing in their skirts, afraid lest the boat upset. There we have a picture of these merry excursions. This must have been a delightful event, and it is a great pity we cannot enjoy it today. I also remember some lines from the poem West Islet:When they gather lotus at Nantang in autumnThe lotus blooms are higher than their heads;They stoop to pick lotus seeds,Seeds as translucent as water. If any girls were here now to pick the lotus, the flowers would reach above their heads too -- ah, rippling shadows alone are not enough! I was feeling quite homesick for the south, when I suddenly looked up to discover I had reached my own door. Pushing it softly open and tiptoeing in, I found all quiet inside, and my wife fast asleep.

Moonlight over the LotusPond

At this moment, most lively were the cicadas chirping in the tress and the frogs croaking under the water. But theirs was all the merry-making , in which I did not have the least share.是倒装句，原因有二，第一 因为前句也是倒装句，but并列平行结构。前句倒装是为了强调。第二 后面有非限制性定从 ，先行词是the merry-making，定从不宜离先行词太远。而你的句子应该是But all the merry-making was theirs。I had nothing to share in their merry-making.这样表达远没有原句 紧凑 和谐。