学英语的笑话段子

段子经典英语笑话

看一些英语笑话，既能让我们学到不少英语知识，也能让我们开心，一起来看看段子经典英语笑话吧!

If the boys stare at you, they have guts to suckyourteeth!

如果男生盯着你看， 他们就有胆亲你。

这是电视剧Full House里两个姐妹的对话， 这句话有三个地方很棒， 第一个是stare at you, 就是指盯着人家看的意思， have guts 就是说有胆子的.意思， (这是一个巧合， 中文英文说有胆子都是说有勇气的意思!) 而最后一个 suck your teeth 则是指接吻的意思， 很有趣， 但是像这种句子是小孩子说的， 难登大雅之堂。

接吻还有另外一个口语的用法： smooch 例如 I didn't smooch that girl last night。我昨晚没亲那个女孩。

Amidst the mists and coldest frosts, with stoutest wrists and loudest boasts, he thrusts his fist against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.

A tall eastern girl named Short long loved a big Mr. Little. But Little, thinking little of Short, loved a little lass named Long. To belittle Long. Short announced She would marry Little before long. This caused Little shortly to marry Long. To make a long story short, did tall Short love big Little less because Little loved little Long more?

A Finnish fisher named Fisher failed to fish any fish one Friday afternoon and finally he found out a big fissure in his fishing-net.

A snow-white swan swiftly to catch a slowly-swimming snake in a lake.

A writer named Wright was instructing his little son how to write Wright right. He said: "It is not right to write Wright as 'rite'---try to write Wright aright!"

The Old Cat

An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.

Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."

老猫

一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。

于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”

看了那么多中文段子，来看一点英文段子解解腻吧!下面是我为大家整理的经典幽默英语段子精选，希望大家能够喜欢。

经典幽默英语段子精选1：

1、Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well.任何值得做的，就把它做好。

2、Happiness is a way station between too much and too little.幸福是太多和太少之间的一站。

3、In love folly is always sweet.恋爱中，干傻事总是让人感到十分美妙。

4、The hard part isn’t making the decision. It’s living with it.做出决定并不困难，困难的是接受决定。

5、Your happy passer-by all knows, my distressed there is no place hides.你的幸福路人皆知，我的狼狈无处遁形。

6、You may be out of my sight, but never out of my mind.你也许已走出我的视线，但从未走出我的思念。

7、Love is not a maybe thing. You know when you love someone.爱不是什么可能、大概、也许，一旦爱上了，自己是十分清楚的。

8、In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.到头来，你活了多少岁不算什么，重要的是，你是如何度过这些岁月的。

9、When the whole world is about to rain, let’s make it clear in our heart together.当全世界约好一起下雨，让我们约好一起在心里放晴。

10、It’s better to be alone than to be with someone you’re not happy to be with.宁愿一个人呆着，也不要跟不合拍的人呆一块。

经典幽默英语段子精选2：

1、Life is a journey, not the destination, but the scenery along the should be and the mood at the view.人生就是一场旅行，不在乎目的地，在乎的应该是沿途的风景以及看风景的心情。

2、Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.时间在流逝，生命中人来人往。不要错失机会，告诉他们在你生命中的意义。

3、I lied when I said I didn’t like you. I lied when I said I didn’t care. I lie every time I try to tell myself I will never fall for you.我说不爱你，那是假话;我说不在乎，那是假话;我告诉自己对你再不会有感觉了，那也是假话。

4、One needs 3 things to be truly happy living in the world: some thing to do, some one to love, some thing to hope for.要得到真正的快乐，我们只需拥有三样东西：有想做的事，有值得爱的人，有美丽的梦。

5、No matter how bad your heart has been broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief. The sun comes right back up the next day.不管你有多痛苦，这个世界都不会为你停止转动。太阳依旧照样升起。

6、Accept what was and what is, and you’ll have more positive energy to pursue what will be.接受过去和现在的模样，才会有能量去追寻自己的未来。

7、Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.除非你能和真实的自己和平相处，否则你永远不会对已拥有的东西感到满足。

8、If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it. Every arrow that flies feels the attraction of earth. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.要想射中靶，必须瞄准比靶略为高些，因为脱弦之箭都受到地心引力的影响。

9、If you wish to succeed, you should use persistence as your good friend, experience as your reference, prudence as your brother and hope as your sentry.如果你希望成功，当以恒心为良友、以经验为参谋、以谨慎为兄弟、以希望为哨兵。

10、I’ll think of you every step of the way.我会想你，在漫漫长路的每一步。

经典幽默英语段子精选3：

1、all things are difficult before they are easy. 凡事先难后易。

2、within you i lose myself, without you i find myself wanting to be lost again.有了你，我迷失了自我。失去你，我多么希望自己再度迷失。

3、first impression of you is most lasting.对你最初的印象，久久难以忘怀。

4、the more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget.the more you forget, the less you know. so why bother to learn.学的越多,知道的越多, 知道的越多,忘记的越多, 忘记的越多,知道的越少, 为什么学来着!

5、the soul cannot live without love. 灵魂不能没有爱而存在。

6、you don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.你不会因为美丽去爱一个女人，但她却会因为你的爱而变得美丽。

7、atrue friend is some one who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.一个真正的朋友是向你伸出手，触动你心灵的人。

8、 to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.对于世界而言，你是一个人;但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。

9、Love understands love; it needs no talk.相爱的心息息相通，无需用言语倾诉。

10、may your love soar on the wings of a dove in flight. 愿你的爱乘着飞翔的白鸽，展翅高飞。