英语幽默故事400字

英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。

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英语幽默小故事1

Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground

An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.

Why not?

If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up  already.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

别捡地上的钱

一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。

“为什么不捡?”

“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。”

“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”

英语幽默小故事2

The Less You Know, the More Money You Make

Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.

Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have

Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.

知识越少挣钱越多

定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。

下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：

假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。

假设二：时间就是金钱。

每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。

因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。

结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。

英语幽默小故事3

They Should Be Playing at Night

A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to  some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over  to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for  their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about  the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on  me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."

他们本该在晚上打球

神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”

英语幽默小故事4

A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.

一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”

英语幽默小故事5

Even My Driver Can Answer that Question

A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on  the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.

The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."

甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题

一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。

司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。”

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多阅读一些英语童话小 故事 ,会提高孩子的 英语阅读 能力而且对口语和词汇量的增加也有所帮助。下面是我整理的英语幽默 童话故事 ，汉语大家阅读。

英语幽默童话故事： I can’t Cook It

It’s sunny day in spring. Miss Cat is fishing. Suddenly the fishing rod moves. “Great! Oh, it’s so heavy!” Miss Cat says happily.

The fish is plucked out of the river. “Oh, a big fish! How big the fish is!” She cheers. But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.

At the time Mr. House goes by and sees it. “What do you set it free?” He asks. “Because my pot is too small. I can’t cook it,” Miss Cat says.

我没法煮它

这是春天里一个阳光明媚的日子，猫小姐在河边钓鱼。突然鱼竿动了动。“太棒了!哇，好重啊!”猫小姐高兴地喊着。

鱼被拉出来了。“啊!一条大鱼!这条大鱼可真大呀!”她欢呼道。但是她却把鱼放回河里，又继续钓鱼。

这时候马先生路过，看见这一切，就问她：“为什么你把鱼放了?” “因为我的锅太小。我没办法烧这么大的鱼。”猫小姐回答说。

英语幽默童话故事： Count Tomorrow Morning

It’s a right. John is looking at the sky.

Tom is John’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”

John says, “I’m counting stars.”

Tom laughs and says, “It’s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”

明天早上数

这是一个晚上。约翰抬头看着天空。

汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰：“你在干什么?”

约翰说：“我在数星星。”

汤姆笑着说：“现在天空太黑了。你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢?”

英语幽默童话故事： I Don’t Like Her

Bob goes to a new school.

One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.

“I don’t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”

我不喜欢她

鲍勃的去了所新学校。

一天， 他回到家，他妈妈问他：“你喜欢你的新老师吗?”

“不，我不喜欢她，妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6，然后她又说2加4等于6.”

英语幽默童话故事：Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一块儿回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

英语幽默童话故事：

The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"

"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".

教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了：“让我向进化论者提个问题——如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了?”

“我来试试看，”一位老太太说。

“该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。”

英语幽默童话故事：

Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?

Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

一名伟人

老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗?

学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。

英语幽默童话故事： A Clever Panda

A little panda picks up a pumpkin and wants to take it home. But the pumpkin is too big. The panda can’t take it home.

Suddenly she sees a bear riding a bike toward her. She watches the bike. “I know! I have a good idea.” she jumps and shouts happily, “I can roll a pumpkin. It’s like a wheel.”

So she rolls the pumpkin to her home. When her mother sees the big pumpkin, she is surprised, “Oh, my God! How can you carry it home?” the little panda answers proudly, “I can’t lift it, but I can roll it.” Her mother smiled and says，“What a clever girl! Use you heard to do something,”

聪明的熊猫

一只小熊猫摘了一只大南瓜，想把它拿回家。但是这只南瓜太大了，她没有办法把这么大的南瓜带回家。

突然她看见一只狗熊骑着一辆自行车朝她这边来。她看着自行车，跳着说：“有了!我有办法了。我可以把南瓜滚回家去。南瓜好像车轮。

于是她把那瓜滚回家。当她妈妈看到这只大南瓜的时候，很惊讶：“天啊!这么食的南瓜!你是怎么把它带回家来的?”小熊猫自豪地说;“我拎不动它，可是我能滚动它啊!”她妈妈微笑着说：“真聪明啊!记住：只要你肯动脑筋，没有难办的事。”

英语幽默童话故事：Sleeping Pills

Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.

Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning."

"That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"

安眠药

鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。

星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”

“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了?”