修改意见英文

It the widely using of robots will bring our human beings danger,【这句话不对，是想用it引导主语么？是要做陈述还是提出疑问？有三种表达，(⊙o⊙)哦,根据后面的意思，(我觉得你是想说：机器人的广泛应用会给人类带来危险么？因为使用了will)就是第三种】：1.It is the widely use of robots that bring our human beings danger.(It is 强调) 2.Is it the widely use of robots bring our human beings danger ？ 3.Is the widely use of robots will bring our human beings danger? 【用use就行，use有名词的意思】use your own view and thoughts on it【on it 可以删掉】The issue of whether or not widely using of robots has a positive influence to society has been hotly disputed in public【whether的用法不对（建议专门看下语法书讲whether的），应该这样说：whether the widely use of robots has a positive infuence on society（have an influence on 是固定搭配，不用to）】bring plenty of benefit for society【bring...to...(给/为...带来...)】present my own view about this phenomenon. 【view on sth 】The advocates of widely using of robots hold a strange belief 【of widely...robots删掉，支持者就可以了，读者可以看懂】some danger works, 【dangerous 是形容词，danger是名词，work不可数名词：some dangerous work】which strengthen the security rate【strengthen的意思是加强，而这里说的是安全率，应该用提高：increase，raised...或是说ensure the safety of workers...】Hence, it can be concluded that robots provide a lot of advantages for the society. 【这句话表明，The advocates 的观点是正确的，本段开头就不应该用strange来评价他们的观点 ，另外我觉得可以改成：we can get the conclude that... it can be 用的有点频繁了，多变换句式增强文章的可读性。】negative effects for society【effects on sth 固定搭配】The reason is that some manual workers【用because就可以了，这个这个，感觉你的文章。。有点僵硬，模式化了，哎，写出漂亮文章的确很难啊，我也探索ing...与君共勉！】The fact that handcraft is one of the traditional culture, which can represent the history of country, has been underestimated in public.【我的修改是，the fact that handcraft,as one form of expression of the traditional culture,represents the history of a country,has been underestimated by public.】its still make a lot of demerits, which may lead our life become more detrimental【1.it still make... 2.我的修改：which may threat the healthy development of our society.】一些词:widely ,lead,suppose,view,demerit……还有一些句式 xxx is that xxx ,the fact that ……频繁出现，就是那种这句出现了，下句马上又出现了的，这种不好，不是说不能用个第二次。还有就是介词的使用，固定搭配什么的，应该加强一下。有不对的地方，楼主指出来啊~~~

以下全手译 以评分方式，回答下列问题 （1-7， 1 最低 7 最高）摘要的质量：5主题的关联性(切中主题）：5引言和桥段（带入性）：5对“艺术形态/城邦”的表述 （译注：缺少上下文，这里state需要你自己把握一下是什么） ：6描写的原创性：5结论的表述：4总结和展望：5可读性，即英语质量：4图表/数据的质量：5 格式的质量：4（作为正规论文通过）的总体建议度（1-7， 1坚决驳回，7强烈推荐）：5 5分高于中间值4，应该是通过了，Congra.

1、 I want to be a writer when i grow up,because i like reading books.此处grow up和because之间不能有逗号。正确应该是：I want to be a writer when i grow up because i like reading books.2、Books can make me feel happy or excited.此处的or最好改成and。3、 I want to be a writer when i grow up because i like reading books.Books can make me feel happy or excited.And i wang to write some books for readers.So that,i will feel successful and readers can feel happy,too.这段我觉得理由和原因之间有些混乱，我建议改成：I want to be a writer when i grow up.First,I like reading books.Books can enrich my knowledge and broaden my mind.Second, I love writing books to readers.If I write good books to readers,I will be prond of myself.Readers will feel happy,too.4、If one day i die,These books will be my wealth.I should do some things when i am alive.So i want to be a writer to minute my lives.这段意思表述得不错，但我觉得逻辑还是有些混乱，建议改成：Everyone will die.I should do some things when i am alive.Writing good books is meaningful.If one day i die,These books which I written will be my wealth.I want to be a writer to minute my lives.5、But it is difficult to be a writer.However,i won't give up.建议改成：Although it is difficult to be a writer,I still won`t give it up.6、我会为我的理想奋斗的：I will strive to my dream.7、文章的内容还是不错的，但我觉得第二、第三段落的顺序可以调整一下，由浅至深嘛。

books can make me feel happy or excited ,or最好改成andand I wang to write some books for readers，wang 改成want（这个应该是笔误）后面一句，表达得不太好，我的意见是改成then my readers will feel happy,and I can feel successful,too.I should do some things when I am alive改一下 I must do something(注意是something）when I am alive.I want to be a writer to minute my life(不是lives) article是可数的 要加sI will fight（奋斗） for my dream.

给下列评分，（1 至 7 分； 1 低，7 高）摘要的质量 5 与会议的相关性 5介绍与激励 5对“最新颖技术”的呈献 6 自己作业阐述的独创性 5结果的陈述 4结论及未来的工作 5可读性，英语水平 4数据 的质量 5格式的质量 4对整体文章的推荐 （1至7；1 强烈拒绝，7 绝对接受 ）接受为一般文章 5注： 还算是不错的评价回答下列问题规模(1 - 7,1低和7高) 质量的文摘:5 相关会议:5 介绍和动机:5 提交 国家的艺术 :6 描 述的原创性的贡献:5 演示的结果:4 结论和未来的 工作:5 可读性 质量的英语:4 质量的数字:5 质量 的格式:4 整体论文推荐(1 - 7,1强烈反对,7强接受) 接受 普通纸:5

I want to be a writer I want to be a writer when i grow up,because i like reading books.Books can make me feel happy or excited.And i wang to write some books for readers.So that,i will feel successful and readers can feel happy,too. 修改意见： I like reading books, so i want to be a writer when I grow up. Books can make me feel happy and exciting. I also want to write some books and have my own readers. Good books can make readers happy too. If one day i die,These books will be my wealth.I should do some things when i am alive.So i want to be a writer to minute my lives. 修改意见: I want to record my life through writing books when I am alive. Even when I died some day, those books written by me would be some kind of wealth left. But it is difficult to be a writer.However,i won't give up.I will write some article from now on.I think i should start out small.Then i can find it is valuable for me. 修改意见： To be a writer is not an easy thing. Of course, I will not give up. From now on, I will insist on writing some small articles everyday. Though small articles are simple, I think they are useful to train me to be a real writer in the future.

回答下列问题规模(1 - 7,1低和7高) 质量的文摘:5 相关会议:5 介绍和动机:5 提交 国家的艺术 :6 描 述的原创性的贡献:5 演示的结果:4 结论和未来的 工作:5 可读性 质量的英语:4 质量的数字:5 质量 的格式:4 整体论文推荐(1 - 7,1强烈反对,7强接受) 接受 普通纸:5