"Say, doctor, are you aware that you have a suppository behind your ear?"
“医师先生,您有没发现您耳朵放了一支栓剂呢?"
"Oh, shit!" exclaimed the eminent practitioner. "Do you know what this means?"
“喔!真是糟糕!”那位名医说道,“你知道那表示什么吗?”
"What?"
“什么呢?”
"Some asshole has got my pen!"
“我把我的钢笔塞到某一位病人的屁股里面去了!”
We're in the Same Boat
同病相怜
The young man was terribly self-conscious because he had a wooden eye.
一位年轻人因为他有只木制的眼睛而感到非常自卑。
His friends would often invite him to dance parties,
他的朋友常会邀请他参加舞会,
but he could never work up the courage to ask a girl to dance.
但他从没能鼓起勇气邀请女孩子跳舞。
But then, one evening, he spotted a girl With a wooden leg sitting sadly by herself.
有一晚,他却不经意看见一位装了一只木制义肢的女孩独自伤心地坐在角落。
Apprehensively, he walked up to her and asked,
他很谨慎地走向她问道:
"Would you like to dance?"
“你要不要跳舞呀?”
"Would I? ! " she exclaimed.
“我要不要? ”她惊叫。
"Oh, yeah? Well, you've got a wooden leg!"
“哦,怎么了?你有一只木制的义肢 (而我有一只木制的假眼,咱们应是天生的一对嘛!)。”
A young vice president of a bank had embezzled $200,000, and squandered it at the race track. The bank examiners were due the next day, and there was no way he could conceal his crime. What's more, when he told the sad tale to his wife, she packed her bags and left him.
Totally despondent, the young man headed for the nearest bridge and prepared to throw himself into the river. Just as he was about to leap off, a hideous olci hag ran up to him, shouting for him to stop.
"You don't understand," explained the banker, and told her about his predicament.
“你不了解我的痛苦,”银行家说道,并且把他的困境告诉老巫婆。
"Ha-ha," chortled the hag. "Why, that's nothing. It just so happens that I'm a witch, and I can solve all your problems "The witch seemed to concentrate, made some mystic signs and uttered a series of bizarre phrases.
"There you are," she said triumphantly. "Not only is the money returned, but there's another $ 200,O0O in your safe deposit box And your wife is back at home and the whole matter has been erased from her memory. "
The man gulped, for the old woman was truly hideous, and smelt horrible as well. But seeing no alternative, he did as she requested, and holding his nose and averting his eyes, performed his duty manfully all night.