英语中文幽默笑话

笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。我精心收集了 英语笑话 带中文翻译，供大家欣赏学习! 英语笑话带中文翻译：The Great Lion Hunter 伟大的猎手 A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping(披盖) the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling(凝结)shrieks(尖叫) coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion. What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief. Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose? 有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。 猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只牛然后把头皮给他。把牛皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。 半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹。 Jonesie，怎么了?狮子在哪?村长问。 哪有狮子!猎人怒吼道，哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了? 英语笑话带中文翻译：As If Awakening From A Dream 如梦初醒 A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal(婚姻的) relation, even cause your wife to leave you… " A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy." 以戒酒为主题的演讲比赛正在进行，一个演讲者动情地说：“酒精可以破坏夫妻关系，甚至导致妻子离开自己的丈夫……” 这时一个男人大声喊：“再来一瓶白兰地!” 英语笑话带中文翻译：At Auction Fair 拍卖会上 At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document. The owner says, "Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate reward him or her." On hearing the news, another chap(小伙子，家伙) shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars." 拍卖会上，有人的包丢了，里面装有重要文件。物主说：“有谁拣到送还，我将拿出200美元以表酬谢。” 话刚出口，就听有人喊：“我出300美元。” 英语笑话带中文翻译：Calming your son 让你儿子静下来 In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing(吼叫)baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert." A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended(称赞，表扬) for trying to soothe(安慰) your son, Albert." The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert." 一个人在超市里推着购物车，一个小孩子在车里不停的大吵大叫。推车的男人一直温柔地念叨着：”别激动，阿尔伯特，别嚷出来，阿尔伯特，别叫，阿尔伯特，冷静，阿尔伯特。" 站在他旁边的一位女士对他说道：“您能这样安慰您的儿子阿尔伯特真的让我们感到很不容易。” 男人看着那位女士说：“太太，我是阿尔伯特。

搞笑英语笑话大全带汉语

会讲笑话的人都是有好人缘的人，所以我们要多亲近一些笑话大王们。现在我也来当笑话大王啦!我给大家收集整理了搞笑英语笑话大全带汉语，一起来笑笑，收集好人缘吧!

令人满意的婚姻生活

A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, "My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments."

一个男人告诉他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美满的秘密，“小事都由我妻子决定，”他解释说：“而我只管大事，我们从不互相干涉，从不生对方的气。我们从来没有抱怨、没有争吵。”

"That sounds reasonable," answered his friend sympathetically. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"

“听起来很有道理，”他的朋友深有同感，“有哪些事情由你妻子作决定呢?”

"Well," answered the man, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that."

“嗯，”那个人回答说：“她决定我申请什么工作，我们住什么房子，买什么家具，去哪里度假这些事情。”

His friend was surprised. "Oh?" he said. "And what do you consider important decisions then?"

他的朋友很惊奇的问道：“哦?那么你决定哪些重要事情?”

"Well," answered the man, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that."

“嗯，”他回答：“我决定谁来当首相，我们是否要增加对贫困国家的援助，怎么处理原子弹等等这些问题。”

A burglar(窃贼) breaks into a house. He sees a CDplayer that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears avoice "JESUS is watching you". He looks around withhis flashlight wandering "What The HELL Was That?".He spots some $ on a table and takes it. Once againhe hears a voice "JESUS is watching you".

摩西和耶稣(双语)

一个窃贼潜入一户人家。他看到一个喜欢的CD机,他赶紧拿了。就在这个时候他听到有人说:“耶稣正在看着你。”他照着手电看来看去,嘀咕着:“到底是什么人在说话?”这时,他看到桌子上有些钱,他又拿了。那声音又来了:“耶稣正在看着你。”

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的.就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

on christmas eve santa claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000nt bill lying on the floor. which one of them do you think picked it up?

answer: santa of course! why? because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起?

答案：当然是圣诞老人啦!为什么?因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。