英语剧本除夕

中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐)荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状:What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? (赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?)李莫愁:Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑太子丹上(抱拳):How are you?荆柯:Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹:Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?荆柯:Sure!太子丹:How are you?荆柯:Fine, thank you, and your wife?太子丹晕倒荆柯:Hey, man, I’m kidding!太子丹:Oh, I’m kidding too!(毕恭毕敬)May I have your name card, please?荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着:To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三:Hero,we need your help.荆柯:I am busy now!太子丹:You can get a lot of money.荆柯:I am very busy now!阿三:IC, ID, IQ card?荆柯:I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯(流口水):I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三:What? What’s the TCM?荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of th can give you the answer.阿三:Excuse me? What’s the TCM?观众甲:TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .太子丹:I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯(激动):Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三:You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧?难道你真的想要吗……(《No matter》音乐起,荆轲先与阿三跳探戈,拥入怀中,又甩出去,阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲

1 http://sxlcyz661.blogchina.com/1280927.html] 2 参考资料：中原基

The Thirsty Pigeon口渴的鸽子 A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water painted on a signboard. Not supposing it to be only a picture, she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard, jarring herself terribly. Having broken her wings by the blow, she fell to the ground, and was caught by one of the bystanders. Zeal should not outrun discretion. 有只鸽子口渴得很难受，看见画板上画着一个水瓶，以为是真的。他立刻呼呼地猛飞过 去，不料一头碰撞在画板上，折断了翅膀，摔在地上，被人轻易地捉住了。 这是说，有些人想急于得到所需的东西，一时冲动，草率从事，就会身遭不幸。 The Raven and the Swan乌鸦和天鹅 A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools. But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished. Change of habit cannot alter Nature. 乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛。他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡，羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕。于是，他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛，来到江湖边。他天天洗刷自己的羽毛，不但一 点都没洗白，反而因缺少食物饥饿而死。 这故事是说，人的本性不会随着生活方式的改变而改变。 The Goat and the Goatherd 山羊与牧羊人 A GOATHERD had sought to bring back a stray goat to his flock. He whistled and sounded his horn in vain; the straggler paid no attention to the summons. At last the Goatherd threw a stone, and breaking its horn, begged the Goat not to tell his master. The Goat replied, "Why, you silly fellow, the horn will speak though I be silent." Do not attempt to hide things which cannot be hid. 很多山羊被牧羊人赶到羊圈里。有一只山羊不知在吃什么好东西，单独落在后面。牧羊 人拿起一块石头扔了过去，正巧打断了山羊的一只角。牧羊人吓得请求山羊不要告诉主人， 山羊说：“即使我不说，又怎能隐瞒下去呢？我的角已断了，这是十分明显的事实。” 这故事说明，明显的罪状是无法隐瞒的。 The Miser守财奴 A MISER sold all that he had and bought a lump of gold, which he buried in a hole in the ground by the side of an old wall and went to look at daily. One of his workmen observed his frequent visits to the spot and decided to watch his movements. He soon discovered the secret of the hidden treasure, and digging down, came to the lump of gold, and stole it. The Miser, on his next visit, found the hole empty and began to tear his hair and to make loud lamentations. A neighbor, seeing him overcome with grief and learning the cause, said, "Pray do not grieve so; but go and take a stone, and place it in the hole, and fancy that the gold is still lying there. It will do you quite the same service; for when the gold was there, you had it not, as you did not make the slightest use of it." 有个守财奴变卖了他所有的家产，换回了金块，并秘密地埋在一个地方。他每天走去看 看他的宝藏。有个在附近放羊的牧人留心观察，知道了真情，趁他走后，挖出金块拿走了。 守财奴再来时，发现洞中的金块没有了，便捶胸痛哭。有个人见他如此悲痛，问明原因后， 说道：“喂，朋友，别再难过了，那块金子虽是你买来的，但并不是你真正拥有的。去拿一 块石头来，代替金块放在洞里，只要你心里想着那是块金子，你就会很高兴。这样与你拥有 真正的金块效果没什么不同。依我之见，你拥有那金块时，也从没用过。” 这故事说明，一切财物如不使用等于没有。 The Wolf and the Lamb 狼与小羊 WOLF, meeting with a Lamb astray from the fold, resolved not to lay violent hands on him, but to find some plea to justify to the Lamb the Wolf's right to eat him. He thus addressed him:"Sirrah, last year you grossly insulted me." "Indeed," bleated the Lamb in a mournful tone of voice, "I was not then born." Then said the Wolf , "You feed in my pasture." "No, good sir," replied the Lamb, "I have not yet tasted grass." Again said the Wolf, "You drink of my well." "No," exclaimed the Lamb, "I never yet drank water, for as yet my mother's milk is both food and drink to me." Upon which the Wolf seized him and ate him up, saying, "Well! I won't remain supperless, even though you refute every one of my imputations." The tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny. 一只小羊在河边喝水，狼见到后，便想找一个名正言顺的借口吃掉他。于是他跑到上游，恶狠狠地说小羊把河水搅浑浊了，使他喝不到清水。小羊回答说，他仅仅站在河边喝水，并且又在下游，根本不可能把上游的水搅浑。狼见此计不成，又说道：“我父亲去年被你骂过。”小羊说，那时他还没有出生。狼对他说：“不管你怎样辩解，反正我不会放过 你。” 这说明，对恶人做任何正当的辩解也是无效的。 The Bat and the Weasels蝙蝠与黄鼠狼 A BAT who fell upon the ground and was caught by a Weasel pleaded to be spared his life. The Weasel refused, saying that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. The Bat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, and thus was set free. Shortly afterwards the Bat again fell to the ground and was caught by another Weasel, whom he likewise entreated not to eat him. The Weasel said that he had a special hostility to mice. The Bat assured him that he was not a mouse, but a bat, and thus a second time escaped. It is wise to turn circumstances to good account. 蝙蝠掉落在地上，被黄鼠狼叼去，他请求饶命。黄鼠狼说绝不会放过他，自己生来痛恨鸟类。蝙蝠说他是老鼠，不是鸟，便被放了。后来蝙蝠又掉落了下来，被另一只黄鼠狼叼住，他再三请求不要吃他。这只黄鼠狼说他恨一切鼠类。蝙蝠改口说自己是鸟类，并非老 鼠，又被放了。这样，蝙蝠两次改变了自己的名字，终于死里逃生。 这故事说明，我们遇事要随机应变方能避免危险。 The Ass and the Grasshopper 驴子与蚱蜢 AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers chirping, was highly enchanted; and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied, "The dew." The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a short time died of hunger. 驴子听见蚱蜢唱歌，被美妙动听的歌声所打动，自己也想能发出同样悦耳动听的声音，便 羡慕地问他们吃些什么，才能发出如此美妙的声音来。蚱蜢答道：“吃露水。”驴子便也只吃露水，没多久就饿死了。 这个故事告诉人们不要企望非份之物。 The Lion and the Mouse 狮子与报恩的老鼠 A LION was awakened from sleep by a Mouse running over his face. Rising up angrily, he caught him and was about to kill him, when the Mouse piteously entreated, saying: "If you would only spare my life, I would be sure to repay your kindness." The Lion laughed and let him go. It happened shortly after this that the Lion was caught by some hunters, who bound him by strong ropes to the ground. The Mouse, recognizing his roar, came and gnawed the rope with his teeth and set him free, exclaiming: "You ridiculed the idea of my ever being able to help you, expecting to receive from me any repayment of your favor; now you know that it is possible for even a Mouse to con benefits on a Lion." 狮子睡着了，有只老鼠跳到了他身上。狮子猛然站起来，把他抓住，准备吃掉。老鼠请求饶命，并说如果保住性命，必将报恩，狮子轻蔑地笑了笑，便把他放走了。不久，狮子真的被老鼠救了性命。原来狮子被一个猎人抓获，并用绳索把他捆在一棵树上。老鼠听到了他 的哀嚎，走过去咬断绳索，放走了狮子，并说： “你当时嘲笑我，不相信能得到我的报答， 现在可清楚了，老鼠也能报恩。” 这故事说明，时运交替变更，强者也会有需要弱者的时候。 The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 老猫 一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。 于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。” The City Mouse and the Country Mouse Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city." The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid. After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid." 【译文】 城里老鼠和乡下老鼠 从前，有两只老鼠，它们是好朋友。一只老鼠居住在乡村，另一只住在城里。很多年以后，乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠，它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看。”于是，城里老鼠就去了。乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里。它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠。城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃，你的家也不好，你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢？你应该搬到城里去住，你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子，还会吃上美味佳肴，你应该到我城里的家看看。” 乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的东西也为他们摆好了。可是正当他们要开始吃的时候，听见很大的一阵响声，城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑！快跑！猫来了！”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来。 过了一会儿，他们出来了。当他们出来时，乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里，我喜欢住在田野我的洞里。因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在，比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说，要好些。” A Brother Like That A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it. "Is this your car, Mister?" he said. Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas." The boy was astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you nothing? Boy, I wish . . ." He hesitated. Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels. "I wish," the boy went on, "That I could be a brother like that." Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my car?" "Oh yes, Id love that." After a short ride, the boy turned with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?" Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again. "Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked. He ran up the steps. Then in a little while Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little crippled brother. He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car. "There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn’t cost him a cent. And some day Im gonna give you one just like it . . . then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that Ive been trying to tell you about." Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shining-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride. That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when he said: "It is more blessed to give . . . " 内容： 哥哥的心愿 圣诞节时，保罗的哥哥送他一辆新车。圣诞节当天，保罗离开办公室时，一个男孩绕着那辆闪闪发亮的新车，十分赞叹地问： "先生，这是你的车？" 保罗点点头："这是我哥哥送给我的圣诞节礼物。"男孩满脸惊讶，支支吾吾地说："你是说这是你哥送的礼物，没花你一分钱？天哪，我真希望也能……" 保罗当然知道男孩他真想希望什么。他希望能有一个象那样的哥哥。但是小男孩接下来说的话却完全出乎了保罗的意料。 "我希望自己能成为送车给弟弟的哥哥。"男孩继续说。 保罗惊愕地看着那男孩，冲口而出地说："你要不要坐我的车去兜风？" "哦，当然好了，我太想坐了！" 车开了一小段路后，那孩子转过头来，眼睛闪闪发亮，对我说："先生，你能不能把车子开到我家门前？" 保罗微笑，他知道孩子想干什么。那男孩必定是要向邻居炫耀，让大家知道他坐了一部大轿车回家。但是这次保罗又猜错了。"你能不能把车子停在那两个台阶前？"男孩要求道。 男孩跑上了阶梯，过了一会儿保罗听到他回来了，但动作似乎有些缓慢。原来把他跛脚的弟弟带出来了，将他安置在第一个台阶上，紧紧地抱着他，指着那辆新车。 只听那男孩告诉弟弟："你看，这就是我刚才在楼上对你说的那辆新车。这是保罗他哥哥送给他的哦！将来我也会送给你一辆像这样的车，到那时候你就能自己去看那些在圣诞节时，挂窗口上的漂亮饰品了，就象我告诉过你的那样。" 保罗走下车子，把跛脚男孩抱到车子的前座。兴奋得满眼放光的哥哥也爬上车子，坐在弟弟的身旁。就这样他们三人开始一次令人难忘的假日兜风。 那个圣诞夜，保罗才真正体会主耶稣所说的"施比受更有福"的道理。 Last week, Mrs Black went to London. She didn’t know London very well, and she lost her way. Suddenly she saw a man near a bus stop. She went up to the man and said, “Excuse me! Can you tell me the way to the hospital, please?” The man smiled. He didn’t know English! He came from Germany. But then he put his hand into his pocket, and took out an English dictionary. He looked up some words. Then he said slowly, “I’m sorry I can’t understand you.” 上周，布莱克夫人去了一趟伦敦。她不太熟悉伦敦，结果她迷路了。突然她在一个公共汽车站附近看见一位男子。她急忙向这位男子走去，说道：“劳驾您一下！请您告诉我去医院的路，好吗？”这位男子笑了。他听不懂英语。他来自德国。但是他将手伸进了自己的衣袋里，从里面掏出了一本英语词典。他查找到了一些单词。然后他一字一句地说：“我很抱歉我听不懂你说的话。”

有，有一些在央视出现的小品又英文版，就是把那些台词改回英文。我记得我之前英语小品比赛的时候，能找到这些。

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The Bear and the Two TravelersTWO men were traveling together, when a Bear suddenly met them on their path. One of them climbed up quickly into a tree and hid himself in the branches. The other, seeing that he must be killed, fell flat on the ground, and when the Bear came up and felt him with his nose, and smelt him all over, he held his breath, and showed the appearance of death as much as he could.The Bear soon left him, for it is said he will not touch a dead body. When he was quite gone, the other Traveler climbed from the tree, and asked his friend what it was the Bear had said in his ear. "He gave me this advice," his friend answered. "Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the coming of danger. Remember: A friend in need is a friend indeed." Misfortune tests the sincerity of friends