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1、爆笑英语小笑话1：Who are stupid？谁蠢？
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid stand up!”
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said “Do you think you’re stupid Johnny?”
“No ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。
“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”
2、爆笑英语小笑话2：A great man一名伟人
Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？
学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
3、爆笑英语小笑话3：Two Cute dogs
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper “Does
your dog bite?”
The shopkeeper says “No my dog does not bite.”
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch” he says “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
The shopkeeper replies “That is not my dog.”
一个男人走进了一家商店，看到了一个可爱的小狗，于是他问店主：“你的狗咬人吗？”
店主说：“不，我的狗不咬人。”
这个男人就试图抚摸狗，然后狗咬了他。“哎呀”他说：“我还以为你说你的狗不咬人呢！”
店主和他说：“那不是我的狗。”
4、爆笑英语小笑话4：Four gold teeth四颗金牙
6.Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。
5、爆笑英语小笑话5：Barking dogs don’t bite吠狗不咬人
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
“It’s all right” said a gentleman “don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don’t bite?”
“Ah yes” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?”
一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
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简单简短的英语笑话
导语：也许你看过很多笑话，但应该很少看英语的笑话。下面我给大家收集整理了简单简短的英语笑话，希望大家喜欢。
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George,how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her,Mother,because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too."
新老师
9月1日,乔治放学回到家里.
"乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问.
"妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6,可后来又说2加4也得6."
Excuse for Speeding
Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road.A police car pulled them over.
〃Why on earth were you driving so fast?〃 the policeman yelled.
〃Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!〃
超速的理由
哈里与劳埃德超速行驶,一辆警车拦住了他们.
“你们为什么开那么快?”警官喊道.
“我们的刹车不好,因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地.”
Two birls
Teacher:Here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.Now who can tell us which is which?
Student:I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher:Please tell us.
Student:The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师：这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀.谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?
学生：我指不出,但我知道答案.
老师：请说说看.
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子.
Bring me the winner
-- Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry,sir.It must have been in a fight.
-- Well,bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员,
这个龙虾只有一只爪.
-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了.
-- 哦,那给我那个打赢的`吧.
my little dog can't read
Mrs.Brown:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs.Smith:But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs.Brown:It's no use,my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦,
亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人：没有用的,我的小狗不认识字.”
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody.What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人.
-- 他真是一个大人物.干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人.
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