英语趣闻报道

Mr.Richards is quite good at shooting and he joined the city's shooting club. The shooting club has a first-class shooting team.It has won many prizes in shooting competitions across the country.One of the most important shooting competitions is taking place in the city. Mr.Richards is so interested in it that he goes to watch it. But one of the members of the team suddenly falls ill just before the match,and the captain hurries to choose someone else to take his place Mr.Richards is introduced to him.So he becomes a member of the team. Mr.Richards has never taken part in such an important competition before.He feels excited,but he also feels very nervous. He cannot stop his hands from trembling while shooting. He does very badly in the match.When he takes his score to the captain,he says,"after seeing my score,I would like to go outside and shoot myself." The captain looks at the score for a few seconds and then says,"Well,you'd better take two bullets with you if you do that!" 理查兹先生很擅长射击，他加入了城市射击俱乐部。射击俱乐部拥有一流的射击队。它已经赢得了许多奖项在全国射击比赛。最重要的一个射击比赛是发生在城市。理查兹先生很感兴趣，他去看它。但一个团队成员突然生病，只是在比赛，和船长赶紧找人代替他理查兹先生介绍给他。所以他成为团队的一员。理查兹先生不参加这样重要的比赛之前。他感到兴奋，但他也觉得很紧张。他不能阻止他的手颤抖时。他非常糟糕的比赛。当他把分数给船长，他说，“在看到我的成绩，我想去外面饮弹自尽。”队长看着评分为几秒钟，然后说，“嗯，如果你想自杀，你最好带上两颗子弹！”

1.My wife complains that her clothes are so old, they were all made in Australia.我妻子对我抱怨说自己没有新衣服，她的衣服都还是澳洲造的。（澳大利亚市面上的衣服基本都是Made in China的，要不也是别国生产的。大概10年前有澳洲产的，渐渐越来越少，现在很少看到了。）2.The pastor(牧师) decides to use one rich parishioner（教区居民） to set an example. "John," he says, " you're a successful businessman, surely you could contribute more to the building fund."（礼拜以后是教堂募捐的时间）牧师打算用教区里的一个富人做榜样。“约翰”，他说，“你是一个成功的商人，你一定能够比别人为筹建教堂贡献更多。”John replies, " But my mother is in a nursing home, my daughter just lost her job, and my son is starting university...If I can say no to them, I can say no to you too."约翰回答说，“但是我的母亲住在养老院（政府为没有收入的老年人办的，不需要费用），我女儿刚失业（在澳大利亚，失业政府给失业补助，足够生活），我儿子刚开始上大学（在澳大利亚，大学费用可以贷款，在你将来收入达到一定水平以后才需要还）...如果我可以不给他们一分钱，我也同样可以一分钱不给你。”

A Difficult Question Four girls go to school every day by taxi. One day one of the girls says, "There is a test in the morning. Let's get to school late. Then we will not have to take the test." "What can we tell the teacher?" one of the girls asks. "He will be angry. We need a good excuse." The girls think for a few minutes, then one of them says, "Let's tell him that our taxi has a flat tyre." "That's a good idea," the other girls say. "We will tell him that." They arrive at school an hour later. The test is finished. "Why are you late?" the teacher asks. "You missed the test." "Our taxi has a flat tyre," one of the girls says. The teacher thinks for a moment, then he says, "Sit down." The girls do this . Then the teacher says, "Write on a piece of paper the answer to this question: Which tyre is flat?" what a difficult question ! The girls look at each other sadly. At last they give the different answers.一个困难的问题 四个女孩每天都乘出租汽车上学。 一天，其中一个女孩说，“今天早晨有一个测验，让我们晚点去学校。 那么，我们将可以不用测验了”。 “那我们怎样告诉教师呢？” 其中一个女孩问。 “他一定会很生气的。 我们需要一个借口。” 女孩想了几分钟，然后说，“我们就告诉他，我们的出租汽车的一个轮胎瘪了”。 “真是一个好主意”，其它女孩高兴地说。 一个小时以后，他们到达了学校。 测验已经结束了。 “为什么你们迟到了？” 教师问。 “你们错过了测验”。 “我们的出租汽车的一个轮胎瘪了”，其中一个女孩说。 教师想想了一会儿，然后说，“坐下”。 女孩照着做了。 然后，教师说，“请你们回答这个问题，并把答案写在纸上，那就是哪一个轮胎是瘪的？” 这是一个多么困难的问题啊！ 女孩悲伤地互相看着。当然啦，结果不说大家也知道，同一个问题，他们竟给了四个不同的答案。