幽默情景剧3人英文

Today’s Yang bailao and Huang Shiren———编剧：方彦龙Character:：杨白劳Y, 喜儿X，王大春（喜儿男朋友）D，王大婶（王大春的母亲）W, 穆仁智（黄的管家）M，黄世仁HPart 1:In 杨白劳’home旁白：(“喜洋洋”背景音乐起)---New Year's Eve,Xi’er is talking with her boyfriend on the phone, suddenly ,doorbell sounded.（叮咚！叮咚……） 喜: Oh! ok! Someone is knock at the door! So I have to hung up!Bye!（开门）杨: 喜儿! 喜儿! What’s this?喜: Oh! computer!(高兴地看笔记本)That’s a Laptop! 杨: Ha ha! Today I’m able to buy a computer! Next year, I will plan to buy a car!喜: Really? Buys a car?Great!杨: Ok, now we will go out ,are you ready ? 喜: Ha ha,I’m ready ok and waiting for you to come back!（门铃再次响起）Oh,I think there must be Aunt Wang and Dacun coming.(开门,)王婶, 大春, 杨, 喜(四人齐声贺道)Happy New Year!hah(喜儿和大春去一边嘻嘻哈哈，窃窃私语不知所言)王婶:（走到杨白劳跟前）Mr Yang,I heard Dachun said, going to jump the disco dancing after dinner.Right?杨:Right,What do you think?王婶:I’m gald to,oh,are you prepared to go out?杨: Sure!.王婶: Ok,go?(问杨白劳)杨: Let’s go,(朝喜儿他俩那边喊)Xi’er,Dachun,go!(四人出门 下)Part 2: In Huang Shiren’ home黄: (黄世仁上台，气势汹汹地说)Hello,everyone!Do you know Huang Shiren?Tt’s me! Ha ha……But today is not yestady!You see Mu Renzhi coming!穆:（穆仁智走上来）Mr Huang , give me a litte,ok?黄: Not! I wouldn’t give you,because I haven’t money!(不耐烦的样子)穆: New Year coming,My wages, a year--?（哀求着）黄: Really does not have!穆:（拉着黄的手说）You are so kind in my eyes,can you give me litte money,ok?黄: No way,what’s moreYang Bailao has not return the money to me, what can I dofor you?(无奈的样子) 穆: You might ask for him! 黄:Asking him?I think he couldn’t give me! 穆:Why? He has contracted the farm, and made many money! 黄:I know! But,he—— 穆:(打断黄的话)Tries!Ok? 黄: (想了想)Ok! You go together with me! 穆: Let’s go! (两人出门 下) Part 3: In enlightens the hall 旁白: Yang Bailao, Xi’er, Dachun and Aunt Wang finished eating dinner and tojump the disco dancing.(迪斯科音乐起，四人在舞台上狂欢着) （一会儿，杨的电话响了,他走到前台接电话） 杨:This is Yang Bailao, please speaking! ... oh... oh!-- 王婶:（王大婶看见，向杨走过来）Who’s that? 杨:Huang Shiren, he said he coming here immediately. 喜：(停止跳舞，朝这边问)Huang Shiren? Is all right?（杨白老点头示对） 大春: Nothing! We would take them away if they appeared! 杨, 喜, D, W: Ha ha (四人继续跳舞) （黄世仁和穆仁智一前一后的东张西望地从下面走上台前） 黄: Oh! Everyone，Happy New Year! （大家看了看，没人理睬） 杨:（杨朝黄走了过去）The same to you!(音乐停，其他人也走了过来) 黄: (和杨握手)Recently alright? 杨: Fina, but if you ask the money that’s wrong!（自己先坐下，示意让黄世仁坐，这时大春用脚把凳子往后一勾了下，黄坐到地上了，尴尬的看看大家） 大春:Oh, I resemble see to have the dirty thing, but not,sits down! 黄: (朝杨白老问)Who is this?（穆仁智扶黄起来） 杨:He is Wang Dachun,Xi’er’s boyfriend. 黄:(打量大春说)Are you Xi’er’s boyfriend? 大春:Yes! (喊道)Is not my that is you? 黄:No,no!you!(胆怯的坐下) 杨:What’s the mater? 黄:I’m sorry, but, today is the last of the year!en—Debt is--- 杨:(打断黄的话) Does not have! 黄: I know you are good man, give a litte,ok?(乞求的样子) 杨: No matter what you said to,nothing! 黄（抱住杨白老的腿哀求到）Mr Yang ,a litte,just a litte…… 杨: No money,only a life have! 黄: just a litte…… 杨:(很无情地说) No money,only a life have! 黄: （无助地向四处环顾）En---- 大春: (不耐烦地说)You have not heard? Does not have! 黄:（朝喜儿望去）Miss, you help us!help us !ok?(哀求着) 王婶:（和喜儿站一块的王大婶说）What you want to do? 大春:Boils!Go out!（语气非常强烈） ( 杨白劳推开黄,喜儿，王大春，王大婶赶黄世仁和穆仁智走) 穆:（拉着杨白老的手求到）Do not expel me go, I want to leave,from now, I do for you ,I cound drive--- 杨: (排了排穆仁智)Ha ha, nice!ok! (穆仁智和所有的人都赶黄世仁出门) 黄:（冲穆仁智喊道)Mu Renzhi! Mu Renzhi!Do you know you is my housekeep? 穆:No!Go out!(全部下)

Topic: the academy life Judih: Hi,Cys,Angy, long time no see! How are you? C: Hi , Judy.How are you? Yes, It's really long time since we met last time on the " Farewell Party" of our senior high school. A: Yes, Judy, you look so different now..en..i have to say you look gorgeous! J: Ha ha! Thanks my friends. How's everything going in your univercities, by the way? C: Well! Neither too bad nor too good! You know the academy life is just like that ,from classroom to library everyday, nothing special. I am a little bit bored of it! I wish i could be out of city town to enjoy the Fresh air in the countryside. A: But my academy life is so fantastic. I have read a lot of famous works in library ,seems it's not enough to have only 24 hours per day. I love it, everyday is so rich and colorful. Hey , just to imagine what we will be after graduation makes me so excited and spunky. What about you Judy? J: Me? oh , wonderful! I joined many communities in my University, and quite lot of outdoor experiences have made me amounts of friends , it also helps me prepare myself for the fierce competition before I get into the real market. C: oh Judy , I envy you,i wish i could be with you do some out-door exercises. A: Judy , yeah! You remind me something maybe I should register some community in my University but not only with my "Shakespeare"! J: oh Come on, girls! Everyone can make the academy life special and unforgettable, the problem is in which way you choose to live your academy life! My friends, good luck and best wishes to all of your families, will see you around! A & C: you too, my dear sis! see you later! DIALOGUE 1 A： Why is it that some people are always buying beyond their means? I mean, they do not make that much and spend half of their incomes on designer clothes as such. B: My theory is that insecure people need to wear famous brand clothing to feel good. C: Yes! They want people to know that they are good enough to afford the best. A: Well, I don't agree that name brands are just for the insecure. I mean, I like my designer clothes too. I do think designer shoes are more comfortable. C: So, you buy designer shoes for comfort? How about those ridiculous designer sweaters that have holes in them and shoes that have 2.5cm heels? B: Hah~! And those funny hats! You surely aren't saying that these things are functional. A: i disagree. Most designer and brand-name items are actually not useless. What you see on the catwalks are just the extremes. What you find in the stores is more functional. B: And not much less expensive! So don't tell me that you're into designer stuff. A: Like I said, some things are worth spending the money on, like stylish but comfortable shoes. But I wouldn't get designer underwear, for example. I mean, for one pair of brand-name underwear, Ican buy 10 pairs of sturdy cotton underwear at the market and just throw them into the wash and not be heartbroken if they change color. But I'd buy a brand-name washing machine because I believe they work longer. DIALOGUE 2 A: Hey, that's a beautiful bag you've got! Is it genuine Louis Vuitton? B: No, are you kidding? I can't afford the real thing. It's a fake that I got at a street market on the cheap. C: But don't you feel bad supporting pirates? I mean pirated stuff undercuts companies which produce the real things. B: So should we all drive Ferraris? There are those who can afford to and those who can't. Those who can't buy a cheaper sports car and paint it Ferrari-red. Pirated stuff is for those too poor to afford the real thing. C: I think it is illegal. B: What? Illegal to want to look good? A: No, illegal to own, sell and above all, manufacture fakes. It's like copyright - if you author a book, you don't want someone else to print and sell it for their own profits, do you? B: I see what you mean about books, but if I write a novel, I hope it's read by as many people as possible so I price it so that it's accessible to the most. But designer luxury items are priced beyond most people's means - they are not intended for the general public but for the elite few. And that's why I don't care about supporting pirated luxury items. C: What aoubt pirated textbooks? A photocopy of the original at a tenth of the price? Would you buy that? Furthermore, what about music? I mean CDs and the like? 希望令你满意！ B: Um, I guess you're right there. It's not fair to exploit the work of other authors and producers. But I still wish they wouldn't price their products so high麻烦采纳，谢谢!

今天我正在看碟，老妈又捧了本书进来，说道：给我讲讲这几句话什么意思 老妈：这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思？ 我说：“我不知道” 老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！ 我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！ 老妈：还嘴硬！！！！$@％!#$^&％#$％@$％@#$％!^％^!^％$^#&..(一顿爆揍) 老妈：你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。 我说：是“我知道“ 老妈：知道就快说。 我说：就是“我知道“ 老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？ 我说：就是我知道呀！ 老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂！&*$％^@$#!％$@^％#*$^^^##$％(又一顿爆揍) 老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我在收拾你，你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.“是什么意思？ 我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧 这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~?“ 我:“我很烦,别烦我“ 老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁) 老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“ 我说:“我没听清,再说一次“ 老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“ “我没听清,再说一次“ 结果被扁 老妈再问:“what do you say “又怎么解释呢“ 我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁) 老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊’ 我说:“查字典“ “查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁) 老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“ 我说:“你最好问别人“ “你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“ “啊!god save me !“ “上帝救救我吧!” “耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁) 我再问你:“use you head,then think it over,又是什么意思啊!“ 我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“ “臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手 我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思” “嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”