line 1: "used comedic way" or "used a comedic approach"line 2[建议]: “after getting the money"line 3: "disabled parking" (disable - 不能，禁用； [the] disabled 残疾人群)line 3: "Then they choose"Paragraph 1: 建议你调整一下此段语态，都用过去式，不然收尾的”they escape easily" 听起来别扭。line 6: "The first impression of a getaway car..." "fuel-saving"line 7: "...that makes policeman impossible to catch up with them" (让警察难以跟上他们)line 8: "always think about ... just ..." 换成 "always think of ... as ..." (前者doesn't make sense)line 11: 缺动词: "this Japanese car is actually pretty fast", 同时因为你在借用原文，可以把引用的内容加引号。i.e. '..., but the control rooms said, "pretty funny".'line 12: 你要么说"Also, they ..." 或者说 "They also...".因为是第二个论点，前者更贴切。Also, line 12: "the advantage of the car" advantage 意思是优点优势。Also, line 12: "They magnified [优点] while shrinking [缺点]..." 中文就是："在aa的同时bb"Also, line 12: 后面接的那句没有主语， 要么你就用逗号： "..., using different ..." 要么就新起一句，带主语的。line 14: due to 后面接词 eg. due to weather reasons, I cannot go to my valentine's date [由于天气原因我不能去情人节的约会了] 想接句子请你说 "due to that fact that +句子"。 所以后半句要有主语："..., it contains so many novel ideas". 别忘了ideas 复数。Also, line 14: comedic, 前面提到了，意思是“喜剧的”Also, line 14: the bank robbers' previous getaway car is...line 15: "Through" 那句还是缺主语："Through this drama situation [某人] attracted audience/people to continue watching..."结尾：in consequence 是”由于什么什么导致的后果“。你想说的是"in conclusion" 总的来说。事情发生在过去所以说"did such a good job"。"... that toyota can be a getaway car" 是一个概念(idea)而不是内容(content)。最后stuck in 是“卡在...里”,所以说“really stucked in the consumers' head". 注意消费者这里应该是复数。
会飞的小马123
