短文的英语

阅读是外语学习中最基本也是最重要的技能之一。所以对于高中阶段学生来说阅读水平的提高是他们英语学习过程中的重要任务。我精心收集了较简单的英语短文，供大家欣赏学习!

吸烟有害Smoking is bad for your healthy

It is said that there are about half of people in China are smoking.Many young boys and girls have the habit of smoking, though they are middle school students.

As we all know, smoking does great harm to human beings. More and more people have come to realize how serious this problem is. But they are never bored with it. Some people think it is a kind of fashion, some think it is of great fun and others think that smoking can refresh themselves.

Smoking causes many illnesses. A lot of people always cough because of smoking. The most serious illness caused by smoking is lung cancer. Meanwhile smoking is a waste of money. Besides, careless smokers may cause dangerous fires.

In order to keep healthy, we should get rid of the bad habit of smoking. Please stop smoking at once.

据说，中国有一半人在吸烟。许多男孩和女孩都有吸烟的习惯，尽管他们还是中学生。

众所周知，吸烟对人身体是有害的。越来越多的人们认识到这个问题的严重性，但他们仍然乐此不疲。一些人认为抽烟是一种时髦，一些人认为抽烟很有趣，还有一些人认为吸烟可以提神。

吸烟能导致很多疾病。由于吸烟，一些人一直在咳嗽。肺癌是吸烟导致的最严重的疾病。同时，吸烟很浪费金钱。除此而外，粗心的烟民还可能引起火灾。

为了保证人们的身体健康，我们应当改掉吸烟的坏习惯。请立即停止吸烟吧。

失学Out of School

Now more and more children in the countryside are out of school. One of the reasons is that their parents haven't much money to afford their school. They have to stay at home to earn money to support their families. What a pity! And another reason is that many parents think it is useless for girls to study and they would not like them to go to school. On the other hand, some children are not interested in their lessons and would not like to go to school.

I think all the children, including girls, should have the right to receive education. We have the duty to lend them a hand when they are in trouble. All the people should pay attention to the education of children who will play a very important part in the future of our country.

现在，越来越多的农村孩子失学了。一个原因是因为他们的父母没有很多的钱供他们上学，他们不得不在家里赚钱养家。太可怜了。另外叶个原因就是很多家长都认为读书对女孩子没用，所以不让她们读书。另一方面，一些孩子对功课不感兴趣，不愿上学。

我认为所有的孩子都有权利接受教育。我们有义务在他们困难时伸出手来帮助他们。人们应当重视孩子的教育问题，因为他们对国家的未来将起到非常重要的作用。

Net Bar网吧

With the development of the Intemet, the net bar plays an important role in people's life. More and more people, especially students, like to go to net bars. They are absorbed in playing video games, making bad friends and having a chat with "Meimei" on the net in the bar. Some students often go on playing late into the night in the net bar. As a result, not only does it do harm to their health but also produces a bad effect on their studies. Now a lot of net bars have been shut down in Beijing. But some students go by bus to the net bars at suburbs to play.

Fortunately, more and more parents and schools have realized it. Recently, more than six thousand students ensured that they would be far away from net bars in Jinzhou city, Liaoning Province. It is quite necessary for the students to get rid of the bad habit.

随着因特网的发展，网吧在人们生活中扮演了重要的角色。越来越多的人，特别是学生，愿意到网吧去，他们沉迷于在网吧玩电子游戏、结交坏朋友以及和荚眉聊天。一些学生常常在网吧玩到深夜，这些会导致学生的健康和学习问题。现在北京市已关闭了一些网吧，但是，一些学生乘车到郊区的网吧去玩。

庆幸的是，越来越多的家长和学校已经意识到这点。最近，辽宁省锦州市六千多名学生保证远离网吧。学生摆脱掉这种坏习惯是非常必要的。

篇1

I have a best friend, we know each other when we are five years old, now we talk about everything. But sometimes we will have the argument, none of us want to give in first.

We make a deal that the next day we will meet in a place every time, so we become good again. I cherish our friendship so much.

我有一个最好的朋友，我们彼此认识的时候是在我们五岁的时候，现在我们无所不谈。但有时我们会有争吵，谁也不想先屈服。

我们达成协议，第二天我们会在一个地方见面，这样我们再次和好。我珍惜我们的友谊。

篇2

I am a shy girl, when there is activity in my class, I will run away from it and try to be nobody. But in my heart, I want to be noticed and show my talent. My friend encourages me to take part in the activity, she helps me to finish the task.

At last, I become more and more confident and get along with others. I am so thankful to her for finding my confidence.

我是一个害羞的女孩，班上有活动的时候，我会逃离，让自己成为隐形人。但在我的心里，我想要得到关注，并展示我的才华。我的朋友鼓励我参加活动，她帮助我完成任务。

最后，我变得越来越自信，与他人相处得也很愉快。我很感谢她帮助我找到了自信。

篇3

Today, when I walk pass a special shop, there sells all kinds of funny things. I love them all. Then I see a thing that my father must like. But I don’t have enough money at hand, I have to make choice.

I finally decide to buy things for my father, because I think it’s value is more important. My father has bought so many things for me, now I want to do it for him.

今天，当我走过一个特别的商店时，那里有卖各种各样的有趣的东西。我爱不释手。然后我看到一样我父亲一定很喜欢的东西。但是我没有足够的钱，我必须做出选择。

最后我决定给我的父亲买东西，因为我认为它的价值更为重要。我父亲已经给我买了很多东西，现在我想为他做这些。

篇4

I like reading books so much, especially the novel books. When I start to go to school, my mother buys me the classic novel Harry Porter. I am so crazy about the movie, so I read the books very quickly.

I gain so much knowledge and broaden my vision. I enjoy the novel world, because I can see other person’s story and then learn from it.

我喜欢读书，尤其是小说方面的书。我开始上学的时候，我妈妈给我买了经典小说《哈利波特》，因为我很喜欢这部电影，所以书我也看得很快。

我获得了很多知识，拓宽自己的视野。我很享受小说的世界，因为我能看到别人的故事，然后从中学习。

篇5

My mother is the greatest person in the world. She takes care of the family and does all the housework. I never want to make her angry. But sometimes I will do something let her down and when I see her upset face, I feel painful.

So I am very strict to myself, I want to be an excellent girl and let her be proud of me. So, I can see her smile often.

我妈妈是世界上最伟大的人。她照看整个家庭，承包了所有的家务。我从来都不想惹她生气。但有时我会做一些让她失望的事情，当我看到她沮丧的脸时，我会很难受。

所以我对自己很严格，希望自己成为一个优秀的女孩，让她以我为荣。这样我就可以经常看到她的笑容了。

第一个 I was very sleepy in the morning, so i didn't go running as usual. I had something for breakfast. My new day has begun. The results would come out today. My classmates all felt very nervous, so did I. Then one of my classmates called me, and invited me to play basketball in the afternoon. I like playing basketball, though I'm really poor at playing it. i and my parent visited redstart farm last Saturday,there're environment is so good.we're scavenge the hourse,The horse was leaded into the stable and each was put in a stall.Cows and sheep depends forage to feed.this so lifelikeness,we're got a lot of enjoyment from my job. in the end.owner preparative feasted on me. 第二个 My family This is my family,this is my mother ,she is XX years old ,she is a +职业,she helr me with my study.the tall man is my father,he is a XX.he is XX years old.My grandfather and grandmother are XX years old ,they are kind to me , I love them,i love my family,thay all love me to. 第三个 The evening, the mother and I would go with a walk. Sun has to go home. Fancy a rise of scenery, a very beautiful. Afterglow some like the bottom of the river, and some like a fierce dragon, and some people like the Dragon Boat Festival race, like a beautiful princess in fancy walking, how elegant! 傍晚,我和妈妈一起去散步. 太阳已经回家了.天边升起了一片晚霞,非常美丽.晚霞有的像清澈的小河,有的像张牙舞爪的龙,有的像端午节人们赛龙舟,还有的像一位美丽的公主在天边散步,多么优雅呀! 第四个 英语：Today is the summer of nine days. These days playing very happy. Today, I had to be worked hard. 6:00 I got up, eat a bread, a bowl of milk. I wrote a morning of the operation. At noon, I was hungry. I eat instant noodles is not very tasty. I watched television, then worked hard to continue. From his mother, I helped my mother cooking, her mother very happy. Today, very happy day! ! 翻译： 今天是暑假的第9天.这几天玩的很开心.今天我要写作业了.我6点就起来了,吃了一片面包,一碗牛奶.我写了一早上的作业.中午,我饿了.我吃的是泡面,不太好吃.我看了一会电视,然后继续写作业.晚上妈妈回来了,我帮妈妈做饭,妈妈很开心. 今天,一天很开心! 第五个： 1.Do You Have an Idol?（你有偶像吗?） Everyone has his or her own idols. What about you? Maybe they are your parents, stars or just yourself. My idol is Wang li hong. He is a handsome man who sings very well. He can also performance musical instrument. By the way, he acts in many movies. I like him very much. 第六个： 我的梦想 Since I was a child I dream to be a scientist. I think a good scientist can make the world change a lot. If I become a scientist, I will make the desert cover with green trees, make the war never take places and make disaster get far away from people. Now, although I am only a student and lack of creativity. I will study science harder and harder. Because I believe that "There is a will, there is a way! " 第七个： 3.学习计划 The new term is coming, so I think I should make a school schedule for myself. In the morning, I will read English texts to improve my spoken English. In each class, I will listen to the teachers carefully and make notes. After school, I will come back home on time and do my homework at once. After supper, I will go over what I learned in the day time and prepare for the tomorrow‘s classes. This is my school schedule. 第八个： The Earth——Our Mother The earth is like our mother. She gives life to all the living things on the earth. Once she was beautiful and rich, but now she becomes dirty and poor. It is due to what we have done to her. Floods, draughts, acid rain…,these are the punishments from nature. Everyone should know that there is only one earth, lf we go on treating her like this, it won' t be fit for us to live in any longer. It’s time for us to love her, take good care of her and cure her. 第九个： 健康饮食 Nowadays, more and more people are in poor health. If we want to keep healthy we should go on a healthy diet. First, we should have a balanced diet. Though we may not like eating vegetables, the vegetables have a lot of nutrition. They are very good for our health. Second, we'd better eat regular meals. We need to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. Because regular meals throughout the day can give us enough energy to carry out our daily activities. Third, we should get away from fast food, for it may cause a lot of disease. 第十个： My Favorite Animal（我最喜爱的动物） My favorite animal is dolphin.They are cute and beautiful. They not only swim fast, but are also smart. Though they look like fish, they are mammals. Because of their high IQ, dolphins can be trained by people. They can learn things very quickly and do all the actions accurate. They are very friendly, so I love them very much. 第十一个： 我的春节My spring festival This year I have a happy spring festival with my family. On New Year's Eve,all the family people get together to have a big dinner in the resturant.During the dinner we say some good hope to each other.For example,keep good healthe,try your best to do everything,have a good mood in this year,happy everyday and so on. Thanks to this spring festival,it make our family people get toghther..We enjoy ourselves very much! 第十二个： MY DAILY LIFE 我的日常生活 Though my daily life is extremely monotonous, I try hard to adapt myself to it. Why? Because I intend to be a good student. I wish to render service to my country. I get up at six o’clock every day. After I wash my face and brush my teeth, I begin to review my lessons. I go to school at seven o’clock. After school is over, I return home. We usually have supper at seven o’clock.then I begin to do my homework. I want to finish it before I go to bed. 虽然我的日常生活十分单调,但我却竭力设法去适应它.为什么?因为我打算做一个好学生,希望将来为国家服务. 我每天六点起床、洗脸刷牙后,就开始复习功课,七点钟我就去上学. 放学后,我就回家了.我们通常在七点钟吃晚餐,之后我就开始做家庭作业,希望在睡觉前把它做完. 第十三个： On the 10th week Yiqiru Cool weather today, I feel it would be nice. I went to the bookstores. I found a very interesting book called "death Notes." I read a long time, simply enchanted, and I think this is a very good book. 周一 七月10日 今天天气凉爽,所以我的心情也很好.我去了书城.我发现了一本非常有趣的书,叫《死亡笔记》.我看了很久,简直入迷了,我认为这是一本很好的书. 第十三个： 我的朋友My friend I have a good friend. Her name is Susan.She comes from America. Now we are in the same class within No.8 Middle school. We often go to school and go home toghter,just like sisters.She likes English very much and actually she is good at it. So, If I have a question of English, I will turn to her for help. She is very helpful. She also does well in singing and dancing. Everytime there is a party,she will give us a wonderful show. 第十五个： MY DAILY LIFE Though my daily life is extremely monotonous, I try hard to adapt myself to it. Why? Because I intend to be a good student. I wish to render service to my country. I get up at six o’clock every day. After I wash my face and brush my teeth, I begin to review my lessons. I go to school at seven o’clock. After school is over, I return home. We usually have supper at seven o’clock.then I begin to do my homework. I want to finish it before I go to bed. 第十六个： My hobby Do you have any hobbies? If not ,what do you do in the holidays ? I have many hobbies .On weekdays ,when I study in school ,I play with my classmates .Sometimes I play volleyball with them,sometimes I play football with them .I think playing football is very interesting and exciting .But when I get home ,I like listening to music alone .Also I like reading story books.When I am not happy about something ,I usually draw some pictures though I am not good at drawing .On weekends ,there is no class ,I like shopping with my friends and my parents . Hobbies can make someone happy ,so I like them .And I have many hobbies.Do you agree with me? 第十七个： My Hometown Welcome to my hometown! Haimen is my hometown. It is a modern and busy town. It has a long history. There are many big supermarkets, beautiful gardens and good factories here. It is very easy to go shopping. You can see green hills, big trees and nice flowers. There are many restaurants in Haimen. You can enjoy Haimen goat. It tastes very delicious. Many visitors come here to enjoy it. There are many good places to visit. There is a park and a big Shopping Mall. You can see films in Renmin Theatre. My school is one of the best schools in my hometown. It is on Changjiang Road. It is very beautiful. I hope you can come and visit soon. 第十八个： My dream Everyone has theirselves dream,my dream is be a doctor.Because the doctor can heal the wounded and rescue the dying.Of course,to be a good doctor ,It's very diffcult.But I will by all means to keep everyone healthly.That's my dream. 10.Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. 第十九个： A happy day Today is Sunday.The weather is sundy and windy.In the morning,my friend and I play in the park.,we play tennis.Then,we stop to sit under the tree.We can see many people in the park.They look relaxed.Some are taking a walk.Others are talking.In the afternoon,we go to the movies.I think today is fun. 第二十个： My Happy Times During Winter Vacation I often go to see my grandma and grandpa during winter vacation. They are both seventy years old and live in the country happily. I can do many interesting things there. I am used to getting up early in the morning and breathing the fresh air in the countryside. After snow, I would like to skate and ski with my friends. When night comes, I am used to sitting by the fire and listening to grandma telling me many funny stories. And I tell her some new things happening in the city. When I have to go back, I am always reluctant to go. I really feel happy living in the country.

请问您是否能把文章照全， 答案被你拍在框外了。就是 “once a ...” 那个时间状语就是答案。望采纳！

第一篇：I'm Tong tong ,I'm 12 years old .There are three people in my family ----my father ,my mother and I .In summer, I like swimming. In fall, I like flying kites . In winter , I like making a snowman . In spring , I like planting trees.I like singing and dancing . Can you tell me , what about you. 第二篇:I am Li Kai. I was bron in 1995,that is to say , I am eleven years old this year. I am a pupil from Class3 ,Grade 6 in the primary school.Myfavourite persons are teachers.Because they teach us knowledge. Teachers let us understand the world. 第三篇：我的英语老师My English Teacher In my life, Ms. Wang is the most important person to me. Her teaching skills are diverse. In class, she usually uses games and posters. She works hard for us. When other teachers rest, she still keeps working and working. When we are mischievous, 第四篇：Save Water 保护水资源 Water is very important for us. We must drink water everyday. We can’t live without water. Water is everywhere around us. At home, we use water to wash clothes, to wash dishes, to cook rice, to clean the flat, to have showers, to make drinks, to cle 第五篇：I like Chinese New Year very much. I can meet many many friends in my family. I like them very much. We sit together to have dinner, I like the food, it's very nice. Do you know what is lucky money? It is the money children get from aunt and uncles, grandpa grandma. I've got a lot this year! I love Chinese New Year. I hope you will like it too. 第六篇：I have a small bedroom.There are only a small bed,a small desk and a small chair in the room.And there is a beautiful doll on my blue bed.Everyday I do my homework,read books and play games with the doll in my bedroom.It is small,but it gives me much happiness. 第七篇：My father is a tall and handsome man.He is a policeman. Everyday he comes back home very late,because he must help the others.He doesn't have time to examine my homework and take me to the park.But I like my father,because he is a good policeman. 第八篇：There is a park near my home.There are a lot of beautiful trees,flowers and birds in the park.So many people go to the park to enjoy their weekends.They like walking or having a picnic in the park.But I like flying a kite with my sisiter there. 第九篇：Japan was fun. It was very cool and windy. We flew kites in the park. I bought a watch there. I wanted to buy more, but I didn't have money. The gardens there were beautiful. I very liked the gardens . The japan department stores were too big. I couldn't find Mom. The food was delicious. We ate a lot of fish。 I also liked the vegetables and cake there. I hope I can go to Japan one more time. 第十篇：Last Sunday, I visited my grandmother. We listened to music and planted flowers. I counted the flowers. There were ten.. Then I helped my grandmother cook lunch. When we finished, I washed the dishes and she cleaned the kitchen. In the evening, I watched TV and played the violin at home, It was fun.

First FlightMr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don't they?""Those are ants," answered his friend. "We're still on the ground."第一次坐飞机约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是？”“那些就是蚂蚁，”他的朋友答道，“我们还在地面上。”A Nail Or A Fly?An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!钉子还是苍蝇？一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。Chaude and ColdA patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. "This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked C gave me boiling water.""But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude - French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal.""Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked C.""Of course," said the manager, "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."热与冷蒙特利尔自助餐厅的一位顾客拧开盥洗室的龙头，结果被水烫伤了。“这太可恶了，”他抱怨道，“标着C的龙头流出的是开水。”“可是，先生，C代表Chaude－法语里代表‘热’。如果您居住在蒙特利尔的话就得知道这一点。”“等等，”那位顾客咆哮一声，“另外一个龙头同样标的是C。”“当然，”经理说道：“它代表冷。毕竟，蒙特利尔是个双语城市。”Imitate BirdsA man tried to get a job in a stage show. "What can you do?" asked the producer."Imitate birds," the man said."Are you kidding?" answered the producer, "People like that are a dime a dozen.""Well, I guess that's that." said the actor, as he spread his arms and flew out the window.模仿鸟儿一个人想在一个舞台剧中找份工作。“你能干什么呢？”负责人问。“模仿鸟儿，”那人说。“你在开玩笑吧？”负责人答道，“那样的人一毛钱可以找一打。”“噢，那就算了。”那名演员说着，展开翅膀，飞出了窗口。How Did You Ever Get HereOne winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?""I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."你是怎样来的？一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗？那你是怎样到这里来的？”“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。”Keep the ChangeSelling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.零钱不用找了在教堂的义卖市上卖旧书时，我与一名准备买东西的顾客发生了一场争论。他对购买袖珍奥金.纳什集颇感兴趣，但是说它要三十五美分开价过高。其它的平装书每本才卖十或十五美分。我指出这本书保存状况颇好，纳什是个有趣的诗人，这个要价是合理的。他说这是个原则问题。最终，我同意以十五美分的价格将这本书卖给他。他得意洋洋，拿出一张十美元的票子付帐。“零钱不用找了。”他说。Midway TacticsThree competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".中间战术三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条林荫道上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。Best RewardA naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him."The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."最好的奖赏一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何都能酬谢他。“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”A MistakeAn Amercian, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peterexplained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened.""Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene."Where are the others?" asked a medic."Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was huggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."搞错了一位美国人，一位英格兰人和一位加拿大人在一场车祸中丧生。他们到达天堂的门口。在那里，醉醺醺的圣彼德解释说是搞错了。“每人给我五百美元，”他说，“我将把你们送回人间，就象什么都没有发生过一样。”“成交!”美国人说。立刻，他发现自己毫不损伤地站在现场附近。“其他人在哪儿？”一名医生问道。“我离开之前，”那名美国人说，“我看见英格兰人正在砍价，而那名加拿大人正在分辩说应该由他的政府来出这笔钱。”ImitationA schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said his mother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it."Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache."That's because it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."模 仿一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。“来，坐下，吃点点心，”妈妈说，“你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。”一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。“你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，”他那聪明的儿子说，“里面装点东西，就会好的。”Bedtime PrayersJulie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."Her mother interrupted and said. "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"And Julie replyed, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"睡前祷告词朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“上帝，求求你，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”妈妈打断她的话说：“朱莉叶，为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”朱莉叶回答道：“因为我在地理考卷上是这样写的。”A Fine MatchOne day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!势均力敌有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的厨房地板上窜过。她很害怕老鼠，所以她冲出屋子，搭上了公共汽车直奔商店。在那儿，她买了一只老鼠夹。店主告诉她：“放点奶酪在里面，很快你就会逮住那只老鼠的。”这位女士带着鼠夹回到家里，但她没有在碗橱里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去，因为已经很晚了。于是，她就从一份杂志中剪下一幅奶酪的图片放进了夹子。令人称奇的是，这画有奶酪的图片竟然奏效了!第二天早上，这位女士下楼到厨房时，发现鼠夹里奶酪图片旁有一张画有老鼠的图片!Class and AssProfessor Laurie of Glasgow put his notice on his door: "Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today."A student, after reading the notice, rubbed out the "c".Later Professor Laurie came along, and entering into the spirit of the joke, rubbed out the "l".班和笨驴格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知：“劳里教授今天不见他的班级。”一个学生读了通知后，擦掉了字母“c”(lass：姑娘)。后来劳里教授来了，也想开开玩笑，他擦掉了字母“l”(ass：笨驴)。