英语搞笑故事100词

『壹』 跪求80~100字的英语小幽默故事，带翻译！

I Have His Ear in My Pocket 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢？ Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” 好孩子 “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？“她是个卖糖果的。” Hospitality 好客 The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor *** iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied theboy. 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?" 一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。 母老鼠向着猫叫道："汪，汪，汪"，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。 母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说："现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。" Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

『贰』 求一篇有趣的英语小故事（100到150字左右）

There was a man who had seven sons, but he had no daughter, greatly though he longed for one. At last his wife told him that they could again expect a child and, sure enough, when it was born it was a baby girl. There was great rejoicing, but the child was weak and puny, so weak that it had to be christened at once. The father told one of the boys to go quickly to the spring and fetch christening water; the other six ran along with him, and because each of them wanted to be the first to dip the jug into the well, it fell in and sank. So there they stood and didn‘t know what to do, and none of them dared go home. When they didn‘t e back their father got impatient and said:“ I‘ll wager they‘ve been playing some game again and fotten all about it, the godless brats.“ He was afraid the little girl would have to die unbaptized, and in his rage he cried out:“ I wish those boys would all turn into ravens.“ He‘d scarcely spoken the words when he heard a whirring of wings in the air overhead, looked up and saw seven coal-black ravens flying away. 有个人，他有七个儿子，他很希望有个女儿，可是怎么盼也没有。好不容易，妻子又怀孕了。生下来一看，果然是个女孩。他们非常高兴。但是孩子太小，又非常虚弱，非得马上急救洗礼不可。父亲打发一个男孩立即到井台去打洗礼水，其余六个也跟着去了。在井台旁，他们都争着先打水，结果罐子掉进井里，沉了下去。他们不知道该怎么办才好，都真楞楞地站在那儿，谁也不敢回家了。父亲在家里等得不耐烦了，就说：“我敢说这些无法无天的孩子一定是贪玩，把打水的事给忘了。”他担心女孩子不经洗礼会死，就生气地大声喊起来：“淘气鬼，都变成乌鸦才好呢！”这话刚出口，就听到头顶有“吧哒吧哒”鸟儿拍打翅膀的声音。他抬头一看，只见空中有七只漆黑漆黑的乌鸦飞过去了。

『叁』 英语幽默小故事50字左右（带翻译）

Q: Why won’t the elephant use the puter?

为什么大象不玩电脑？

A: He’s afraid of the mouse!

他害怕老鼠！

鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。

mouse [maʊs]n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人

2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。

"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."

"Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor said.

一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。

“医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。”

“哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。

3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.

He was brought to the hospital.

His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."

"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.

他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."

医生说:"我怕他已经死了."

听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."

妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"

And God says: "A penny".

Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"

And God says: "a second",

Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?"

And God says "In a second". 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.

他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"

上帝回答:"一便士."

男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"

上帝说:"一秒钟."

最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"

上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

『肆』 100字英语小故事

是个短的幽默小故事，很简单的那种哦～～ Look at the sky One day , Charley bought a hot dog in a snack bar after school . Suddenly , he stopped and raised his head high . He kept looking at the sky . It lasted o minutes . A woman passed by . she saw Charley looking at the sky . and she stooped and also looked at the sky . The sky was blue . There were some white clouds . Charley still looked at the sky and didn’t move a bit . The woman also went on looking at the sky . Mary passers-by stopped . They looked at the sky , too . After a while , charley lowered his head . He laughed and asked . “what are you looking for in the sky ?” The woman said : “ why are you looking at the sky ?” “I didn’t look at the sky .” Charley pointed to his nose .” My nose was bleeding .” 看天空 查理在路上把头抬得高高的，路上的人以为天上有什么好看的，一个接一个的停了下来，抬头望着天，可是，查理抬头看天是因为他的鼻子出血了，那么其他人呢？ （这不是翻译哦，只是概要。。。故事你应该看的懂的）

『伍』 英语小故事100词左右

The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 【译文】 老猫 一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。 于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”

『陆』 我需要一个英语小故事带翻译的100字左右。

Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

『柒』 求一篇100字左右的英语小故事

1、“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you enty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” 2、The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 老猫 一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。 于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。” 第二个有点多，选第一个吧，短小精炼。 望采纳(⊙o⊙)

『捌』 幽默英语小故事100词

My wife has always been impressed by my ability to identify bird species solely by its song. To help her learn a little bit about birds, I bought a novelty kitchen clock that sounds a different bird call for each hour. We were relaxing in our yard when a cardinal started singing. “What's that?” I challenged. She listened closely. “It's three o'clock.” 我太太对于我光听鸟的叫声就能说出是哪一种鸟的本领非常佩服。为了帮助她学习有关鸟的知识，我买了一台小巧玲珑的厨房钟。它每个小时能发出不同的鸟叫声。我们正在院子里休息的时候，一只红雀开始唱歌。我考考我太太：“那是什么鸟？”她仔细听了一会儿说：“那是三点钟。”

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself. Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?" Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?" Tom: "The smaller piece, of course." Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?" 一天，比尔和汤姆去餐馆吃饭。当服务员端上两份牛排时，比尔迅速地为自己拿了比较大的那块。 汤姆对此很不开心：“你什么时候能学会礼貌？” 比尔说：“如果让你先拿，你会拿哪个？” 汤姆说：“当然是小的那个。” 比尔：“那你还抱怨什么？小的那个不就是你想要的，不是吗？”

英语幽默故事三则

下面是网我为大家带来的英语幽默故事三则，希望大家能够能在快乐中学习，在学习中快乐~

1.Bragging  吹牛

Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "A man came to me who had his hand cut off，“said one. "Today that man is a concert violinist."

三名著名的外科医生在吹嘘着各自的高超医术。其中一个说:“有个人切断了一只手，他来找我治疗，如今，他已成为音乐会的小提琴手。”

That's nothing." said another.“A guy came to me who had his legs cut off. I stitched them back on，and today that man is a marathon runner."

“那有什么，”另一个不服，“有个家伙的`两条腿全断了，我给他接上了。现在这家伙是马拉松运动员。”

"I can top both of you，"said the third. "One day I came on the scene of a terrible accident. ,There was nothing left but a horse's posterior---and a pair of glasses. Today that man is seated in the United States Senate. "

“你们俩都比不上我。”第三个人说，“有一天，我被叫到一起事故的现场。当时那儿什么都没留下，只有一个马屁股和一副眼镜。现在那个人就坐在美国参议院中。”

2.Wrongly dressed 穿错了

I wanted to look especially nice when I valked my son to his first day of kindergarten，so I took the liberty of borrowing an outfit from my younger，more fashionable sister，who was staying with us at the time. We had agreed not to borrow from one another without asking，but she was asleep，so I slipped some shorts and a shirt out of her drawer silently，planning to put them back before she woke up.

在陪儿子上幼儿园的第一天，我想打扮一下自己。我打算从妹妹那儿借身外衣，她年径而且时髦。妹妹和我们住在一起。我们有约在先，不经过对方的同意不能拿别人的东西。但那时她仍在睡觉。于是，我从她的衣拒里轻径拿走几条短裤和一件村衣，本想趁她没醒来时再放回去。

To my surprise .she was awake when I got back, but she didn't mention the clothes. We chatted about Jason's introduction to kindergarten. Finally，she smiled and asked coolly，"And how did Jason's teacher like my pajamas?"

让我吃惊的是，当我送儿子去幼儿园回来后，妹妹已经醒了。但她没说衣服的事儿。我们聊了聊儿子吉森在幼儿园做自我介绍的情况。最后，妹妹笑着并不动声色地问:“吉森的老师觉得我的睡衣怎徉?”

3.Dating for mother 为母亲约会

When the young waitress in the cafe in my building started waving hello every day，I was flattered. She was at least 15 years younger than I.

在我工作的大楼里有间咖啡馆，那儿的女招待每天见到我都向我打招呼。我因此受宠若惊。要知道她至少要比我小15岁。

One day she waved and beckoned to me. When I strolled over，she asked，"Are you single?"

有一天，她见到我后，朝我招手示意让我过去。于是，我便走了过去。她问我，“你现在是单身吗?”

Why，yes,"I replied，smiling at her broadly.

“对，是单身。”我满脸堆笑地说。

" So is my mom，”she said.”Would you like to meet her?"

“我母亲也是，”她说:“你愿意不愿意见见她。”