英语搞笑片段

看了那么多中文段子，来看一点英文段子解解腻吧!下面是我为大家整理的经典幽默英语段子精选，希望大家能够喜欢。

经典幽默英语段子精选1：

1、Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well.任何值得做的，就把它做好。

2、Happiness is a way station between too much and too little.幸福是太多和太少之间的一站。

3、In love folly is always sweet.恋爱中，干傻事总是让人感到十分美妙。

4、The hard part isn’t making the decision. It’s living with it.做出决定并不困难，困难的是接受决定。

5、Your happy passer-by all knows, my distressed there is no place hides.你的幸福路人皆知，我的狼狈无处遁形。

6、You may be out of my sight, but never out of my mind.你也许已走出我的视线，但从未走出我的思念。

7、Love is not a maybe thing. You know when you love someone.爱不是什么可能、大概、也许，一旦爱上了，自己是十分清楚的。

8、In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.到头来，你活了多少岁不算什么，重要的是，你是如何度过这些岁月的。

9、When the whole world is about to rain, let’s make it clear in our heart together.当全世界约好一起下雨，让我们约好一起在心里放晴。

10、It’s better to be alone than to be with someone you’re not happy to be with.宁愿一个人呆着，也不要跟不合拍的人呆一块。

经典幽默英语段子精选2：

1、Life is a journey, not the destination, but the scenery along the should be and the mood at the view.人生就是一场旅行，不在乎目的地，在乎的应该是沿途的风景以及看风景的心情。

2、Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.时间在流逝，生命中人来人往。不要错失机会，告诉他们在你生命中的意义。

3、I lied when I said I didn’t like you. I lied when I said I didn’t care. I lie every time I try to tell myself I will never fall for you.我说不爱你，那是假话;我说不在乎，那是假话;我告诉自己对你再不会有感觉了，那也是假话。

4、One needs 3 things to be truly happy living in the world: some thing to do, some one to love, some thing to hope for.要得到真正的快乐，我们只需拥有三样东西：有想做的事，有值得爱的人，有美丽的梦。

5、No matter how bad your heart has been broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief. The sun comes right back up the next day.不管你有多痛苦，这个世界都不会为你停止转动。太阳依旧照样升起。

6、Accept what was and what is, and you’ll have more positive energy to pursue what will be.接受过去和现在的模样，才会有能量去追寻自己的未来。

7、Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.除非你能和真实的自己和平相处，否则你永远不会对已拥有的东西感到满足。

8、If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it. Every arrow that flies feels the attraction of earth. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.要想射中靶，必须瞄准比靶略为高些，因为脱弦之箭都受到地心引力的影响。

9、If you wish to succeed, you should use persistence as your good friend, experience as your reference, prudence as your brother and hope as your sentry.如果你希望成功，当以恒心为良友、以经验为参谋、以谨慎为兄弟、以希望为哨兵。

10、I’ll think of you every step of the way.我会想你，在漫漫长路的每一步。

经典幽默英语段子精选3：

1、all things are difficult before they are easy. 凡事先难后易。

2、within you i lose myself, without you i find myself wanting to be lost again.有了你，我迷失了自我。失去你，我多么希望自己再度迷失。

3、first impression of you is most lasting.对你最初的印象，久久难以忘怀。

4、the more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, the more you forget.the more you forget, the less you know. so why bother to learn.学的越多,知道的越多, 知道的越多,忘记的越多, 忘记的越多,知道的越少, 为什么学来着!

5、the soul cannot live without love. 灵魂不能没有爱而存在。

6、you don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.你不会因为美丽去爱一个女人，但她却会因为你的爱而变得美丽。

7、atrue friend is some one who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.一个真正的朋友是向你伸出手，触动你心灵的人。

8、 to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.对于世界而言，你是一个人;但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。

9、Love understands love; it needs no talk.相爱的心息息相通，无需用言语倾诉。

10、may your love soar on the wings of a dove in flight. 愿你的爱乘着飞翔的白鸽，展翅高飞。

英语笑话段子集锦

爱笑的人，运气总不会太差，那么你喜欢笑么?这里我收集整理了好些搞笑的英语笑话段子集锦，一起来看看吧!说不定能点中你的笑血哦!

英语笑话段子【1】

An Exact Number 准确数字

A tourist was visiting New Mexico and was amazed at the dinosaur(恐龙) bones lying about.

How old are these bones? the tourist asked an elderly Native American, who served as a guide.

Exactly one hundred million and three years old.

How can you be so sure? inquired the tourist.

Well, replied the guide, a geologist(地质学家) came by here and told me these bones were one hundred million years old, and that was exactly three years ago.

一位游客在新墨西哥游览，他对随处可见的恐龙化石甚感惊奇。

这些化石有多长的'历史?游客问一个上了年纪的当地美国人，他是作向导的。

整整十亿零三年了。

你怎么这么肯定?游客问道。

哦，向导回答道，一个地质学家来过这儿，他告诉我说这些化石有十亿年了，再加上那是整整三年前的事了。

英语笑话段子【2】

Do You Know My Work 你知道我是干嘛的吗

One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.

Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.

Before I came out, said one, I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find. No one will be poorer because I took them.

You don't know my work, said the other.

What is your work?

I'm a policeman.

Oh! cried the first man. He thought quickly and said, and do you know my work? No, said the policeman.

I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.

一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡衣就跑了出来。

两个人站在外面，看着大火。

在我出来之前，其中一个说，我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬，所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了，没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。

你不知道我是干什么的，另一个说。

你是干什么的?

我是警察。

噢!第一个人喊了一声，他灵机一动，说：那你知道我是干什么的?不知道。警察说。

我是个作家，我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。

英语笑话段子【3】

The Nice Wedding Gift

We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher.Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: Thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.

漂亮的结婚礼物

我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。由于我们都不认识那个年轻人和他的新娘，所以我们决定送给他们一个实用的全家礼----一个灭火器。很明显，这对新人大批量制作了他们的感谢信，因为我们收到了一张卡片，上面写着：“非常感谢您的漂亮的结婚礼物，我们期待着不久就用到它。”

英语笑话段子【4】

Excuse for Speeding

Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.

"Why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.

"Our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!"

赶紧到达那里

哈里与劳埃德超速行驶，一辆警车拦住了他们。

“你们为什么开那么快?”警官喊道。

“我们的刹车不好，因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地。”

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" The guy leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrr-gerrrrr Kiiinnnggg." 俩游客驾车穿过路易斯安那州。当他们快到Natchitoches这个地方时，他们俩为Natchitoches这个词怎么读产生了争执。他们一直吵到吃午饭的时候。当他们站到柜台前点菜时，其中一个问服务员：“在我点菜之前，能不能麻烦你平息我们的争执？你可不可以很慢地念出我们所在的这个地方的名字？”那个人靠近柜台说：“Burrrrrr-gerrrrr Kiiinnnggg(估计是这家餐馆的名字)” A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."