123丶路亽曱
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贪吃的小四2小时前发布-
英语简短笑话大全
导语：阅读笑话，为生活创造更多的快乐。以下是我整理的英语简短笑话大全，欢迎各位的阅读与参考。
英语简短笑话【1】
顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了!
服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫!
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!
Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
英语简短笑话【2】
一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。
“你疯了吗?”顾客喊到，“你的`手在我的牛排上!”
“什么?”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上?”
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?"
"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"
英语简短笑话【3】
服务员：茶或咖啡?先生。
第一个顾客：我要茶
第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的!
服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子?
Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!"
(Waiter exits, returns)
Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"
英语简短笑话【4】
服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么?
看起来象是在仰泳，先生……
Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir...
英语简短笑话【5】
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!
别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.
英语简短笑话【6】
服务员，我汤里有只苍蝇!
不是，先生，那是蟑螂，苍蝇在你牛排里。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.
英语简短笑话【7】
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!
别让别人看见，先生，要不别人都要。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Keep it down sir, or they'll all be wanting one.
英语简短笑话【8】
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!
我知道，先生，我们没有另收钱。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!
英语简短笑话【9】
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!
对不起，先生，我弄走那三个时忘了这个。
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!
Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.
英语简短笑话【10】
服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇!
是的，先生，是开水杀死了它们。
Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
Yes sir, it's the hot water that kills them.
英语简短笑话【11】
服务员，汤里有只死苍蝇!
1美元你想要什么——活的?
aiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
What do you expect for $1 - a live one?
英语简短笑话【12】
服务员，汤里有只蜜蜂!
是的，先生，今天苍蝇放假。
Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup.
Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.
英语简短笑话【13】
服务员，来杯咖啡，不加奶油。
对不起，先生，奶油没了，不加奶怎么样?
Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.
I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?
英语简短笑话【14】
服务员，你的领带在我的汤里了。
没关系，先生，它不缩水。
Waiter, your tie is in my soup!
That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.
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诗诗雨天2小时前发布-
下面是我整理的英语简单笑话短文，希望大家会喜欢!
英语简单笑话短文：All Except the Music除了音乐
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”
“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐 其它 都很好。”
英语简单笑话短文：I don't think I know-我不知道啊
Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"‘
老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。约翰：“你想它是什么呢”?老师：“我不用想，我知道!”。约翰：“我想我不知道”。
英语简单笑话短文：迟到的原因The Reason of Being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.
老师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。
英语简单笑话短文：人们什么时候说话最少?When Do People Talk Least?
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙：在二月。学生甲：为什么呢?学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
英语简单笑话短文："孩子"的复数形式
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
"孩子"的复数形式老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?
汤姆：男人们。老师：答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?汤姆：双胞胎。
英语简单笑话短文：除了音乐All Except the Music
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?""Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”
英语简单笑话短文：迟到
My Sister's Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
我妹妹的手指头老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。
英语简单笑话短文：天气怎么样
The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
新西兰的气候老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。老师：错了。马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
英语简单笑话短文：Improvement
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
一位学生对另一位说：“你的 英语 最近学的怎么样?”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”
英语简单笑话短文：狗也知道这个 谚语 吗?
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”
知道"Family"这个单词的含义吗?
知道"Family"这个单词的含义吗? 爸 F ather和 A nd妈 M other我 I爱 L ove你 Y ou爸妈我爱你=家庭。
Englishi搞笑读法
小时侯上学，把“English” 读为“应给利息”的同学当了银行行长;读为“阴沟里洗”的成了菜贩子;读为“因果联系”的成了哲学家;读为“硬改历史”的成了政治家; 读为“英国里去”的成了海外华侨;而我，不小心读成了“应该累死”结果成了打工的!
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