英语搞笑小品剧本

《 荆珂刺秦王》旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上,掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!然后拍阿三肩膀,做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊.”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?）李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?太子丹晕倒荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着：To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero,we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now! 太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法 tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧?难道你真的想要吗……荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹与阿三（撞胯,击掌）Yeah!

小狮子找食物 （I Am Hungry）角色：雄狮、小狮、小白兔、小松鼠、小女孩。道具：雄狮、小狮、小白兔、小松鼠头套、红萝卜、花生一把、苹果一个。Act 1雄狮：（怒吼）Roar, roar!I am the lion,the king of the forest.No one is stronger than me.Roar, roar!小狮：Daddy! I’m hungry.雄狮：You are big now.Be brave!Go and find your own food.小狮：But, I don’t know how.雄狮：Do it like me.Roar, roar! （怒吼）小狮：（小声地）Roar, roar!雄狮：Rush to the animals and bite them with your sharp teeth.（ 露出尖利的牙齿）Go and do it now.小狮：Yes, daddy.Act 2小白兔：（唱”Rabbit, R693535747 19:39:38abbit, Carrot Eater”）Rabbit, rabbit, carrot eater.He says there is nothing sweeter,Than a carrot everyday,Munch and crunch and run away.小狮：Hi, rabbit! I am hungry.Roar, roar!（小声地）小白兔：Do you want some carrots?小狮：Yes, please.（小白兔递给小狮一根红萝卜）小狮：Thank you.小白兔：Carrots are the best food.小狮：（吃了一口）Yuck! I don’t like it.Anyway, thank you, rabbit.（还红萝卜给小白兔）小白兔：You are welcome.（边跳边唱”Rabbit, Rabbit, Carrot Eater”离开）Act 3小松鼠：（唱着”Found a Peanut”）Found a peanut.Found a peanut.Found a peanut693535747 19:39:38just now.Just now I found a peanut.Found a peanut just now.小狮：Hi, squirrel! I am hungry.Roar, roar! （小声地）小松鼠：Do you want some peanuts?小狮：Yes, please.（小松鼠递给小狮一些花生）小狮：Thank you.小松鼠：Peanut is the best food.小狮：（吃了一颗）Yuck! It’s too hard.I don’t like it.Anyway, thank you, squirrel.（将花生还给小松鼠）小松鼠：You are welcome.（边走边唱”Found a Peanut”离开）Act 4（小女孩边走边唱”Apple Round”）小女孩：Apple round.Apple red.Apple juicy.Apple sweet.

你可以去腾讯搜索一下破产姐妹那个片子，那个里边儿就挺搞笑的。最好搜那个英文的。