英文剧本短篇

4人的英语短剧本如下：

N: Many years ago, on April 1, a body had birth. His father called him "foolman",

nobody like him except his mother. How time flies!

许多年以前的四月一日，有个婴孩诞生了，他老爸给他取名为“愚男”，除他妈妈，没人喜欢他。时间过的真快啊！

F: Mum, I'm eithteen years old, so I will leave this family.

妈妈，我十八岁了，我要离开这个家了。

Mum: All right, but please see me at times. This is a bottle of drink, a piece of dry bread. Remember: take good care of yourself, bye!

好的，但要时不时回家看望我哈。这是一瓶酒，一块干面包。记住：要照顾好自己啊。再见了！

N: He came to a forest, and met an ugly man.

他走到一座森林，遇到一个丑八怪的男人。

U: Hello! I'm very hungry and thirsty, could you give me something to drink and eat, please?

你好！我又饿又干，请给我些喝的和吃的，怎么样？

F: Ok, here.

好的。给。

U: Oh, thanks very much! Now, I will go. Oh, this stick is for you, it will bring luck to you. Good luck!

喔，多谢了！好，我要走了。哦，这根手杖给你，会给你带来好运的。一路好运！

N: The foolman reached a restaurant, the boss had two daughters, they found the stick very brightly.

愚男来到一栋餐馆，老板有两个女儿，她们发现那根手杖闪闪发光。

D1: Oh, how beautiful it is! I want it, it's great!!! （上前抓木棒，却被粘在上面） Oh! Dear! I can't leave it! （吃惊地）

喔，好漂亮的手杖啊！我想要，真是太棒了！！！(上前抓木棒，却被粘在上面)啊，老天啊！我放不开它了！(吃惊地)

D2: Sister, what are you doing there? Do you want this stick yourself?

No, I will get a part of it! We are parent's daughters, I must get a part of it like you! （走向木棒）

姐姐，你在那做啥啊？你自个儿想要那根手杖？不行，我要有一份！我们都是父母的女儿，我必须跟你一样要有一分！（走向木棒）

D1: Don't come! Don't come! It's dangerous!

别来！别来！危险！

D2: You can come, so I can come, too! （也被粘在木棒上） Oh, my god! What's wrong with me?

你来得，我也来得！（也被粘在木棒上）啊，老天啊！我怎么啦？

D1: What a pity!

真可惜！

N: Foolman didn't mind at all, after the meal he took the stick leave the restaurant.

Of course, two girls followed him. In the field they met an old scientist.

愚男一点都不在意，吃了饭之后，他拿起那根手杖就离开了饭馆。当然，那两个女孩就跟着他。来到一块田的时候，他们遇到一位科学家。

S: Oh! Terrible! You two girls follow a boy. How silly of you! I will take you back home, and take the boy to the police station.

（抓stick ,也被粘住） Oh! Bad luck! Terrible!

啊！太可怕了！你姐妹俩跟着一个男孩，你们怎么这么傻啊！我带你们回家，把这个男孩送到警察局去。（抓手杖 ,也被粘住）啊！糟糕！太糟糕啦！

N: A few days later, they got to a strange country. The king had a daughter, but she never smiled or laughed.

几天之后，他们来到一个陌生的国度。国王有个女儿，但她从来不笑。

King: Who can make her smile or laugh, she'll be his wife.

要是谁能让她笑，那她就是他的妻子。

F: Let me try , Perhaps I can.

我来看看。或许我能呢。

N: Then they went to see her. She saw foolman and his friends laughed and laughed.

这样他们就去看望她。她看到愚男和他的朋友就笑个不停。

短剧本特点：

1、剧本不像小说、散文那样可以不受时间和空间的限制，它要求时间、人物、情节、场景高度集中在舞台范围内。

2、反映现实生活的矛盾要尖锐突出 。

各种文学作品都要表现社会的矛盾冲突，而戏剧则要求在有限的空间和时间里反映的矛盾冲突更加尖锐突出。因为戏剧这种文学形式是为了集中反映现实生活中的矛盾冲突而产生的，所以说，没有矛盾冲突就没有戏剧。

3、剧本的语言要表现人物性格 。

小红帽英文小剧本 Little Red Riding Hood第一场：Little Red Riding Hood家 Mum： (妈妈拿着一个篮子，把桌紫的水果放在篮子里） Little Red Riding Hood:(唱着歌，欢快地跑进来）Hi,mummy, what are you doing? Mum： （一边把水果放在篮子里，心事重重地说）Grandma is ill. Here are some apples and bananas for Grandma. Take them to Grandma. Little Red Riding Hood：（边提起篮子，边点头说）Ok! Mum： （亲切地看着Little Red Riding Hood说） Be good. Be careful. Little Red Riding Hood： Yes ,mummy．Goodbye, mummy. Mum： Bye-bye. Darling. 第二场：在路上 (一阵轻快的音乐远而近，Little Red Riding Hood挎着篮子蹦跳跳地跳到花草旁) Little Red Riding Hood： Wow！Flowers, how beautiful! （放下篮子采花）One flower ,two flowers, three flowers. Wolf：（随着一阵低沉的音乐，Wolf大步地走上台）I am wolf. I am hungry. (做找东西状,东张西望) Here is a little red riding hood. Hi! Little Red Riding Hood. Where are you going? (做狡猾的样子和Little Red Riding Hood打招呼) Little Red Riding Hood：(手摸辫子，天真地回答)To Grandma’s．Grandma is ill. Wolf：（自言自语）I' ll eat Grandma. But……（对Little Red Riding Hood说）Hey, look! 6 little baby ducks. Little Red Riding Hood：(和6只鸭子随着音乐翩翩起舞) Wolf：（悄悄地藏到大树后） Little Red Riding Hood：（停止跳舞）Hello! Baby ducks，how are you? Six Ducks：We’ re fine．Thank you． Where are you going? Little Red Riding Hood：To Grandma’s．Oh, I must go, bye. Six Ducks：Goodbye． 第三场：Grandma家 Grandma： （喘着气出场，颤颤悠悠地走到床前，吃力地坐到床边，喘了几口，打几个哈欠，慢吞吞地躺倒在床上。） Wolf：（从树后出来，边走边说）I am very hungry now. (做找寻的样子)Where is Grandma’ s house? (高兴地对观众说)Aha , it’s here.(敲门)Bang, Bang, Bang． Grandma： Who is it？ Wolf：（装出Little Red Riding Hood的声音，一边得意地摇动尾巴，一边说）It’s me. Little Red Riding Hood. Grandma： (边说边起床) Come in, come in. Wolf：(得意洋洋地走到床边) Grandma , I’ll eat you. Grandma： （惊慌失措地抓紧衣服，瞪着眼睛，边叫迫从床上滚到地上） 灰狼把外婆吞到了肚子里。 Wolf：（得意地拍拍肚子，翘起大拇指）Yummy！I’ll sleep.Little Red Riding Hood：(高兴地敲门)Grandma．Grandma． Wolf：(装扮成Grandma的声音) Who is it？ Little Red Riding Hood：It’s me。Little Red Riding Hood. What a strange noise! Wolf：Come in， Come in. Little Red Riding Hood：(蹦跳着进来，把篮子放在桌子上，走到床前一看，跳回几步)Oh! What are big ears! Wolf：I can listen to your sweet voice. Little Red Riding Hood：Wow! What a big eyes! Wolf：I can see you pretty face. Little Red Riding Hood：Oh! What a big hand. Wolf：I can hug you. Little Red Riding Hood：（跪在床前，拉起Wolf的手，边摸边说）Look! What a big hands? Wolf：(从床上跳起来说)I can eat you! Little Red Riding Hood：(拼命地跑)Oh！No! No! Wolf：（追到Little Red Riding Hood，做吃状，拍拍肚子说）It’s delicious. I still sleep. I like sleeping. Hunter： (一边拿着枪，一边做寻找状出场)Where’s the wolf? Look! A door．(推门)The wolf is sleeping. Wolf：(发出呼呼的响声) Hunter： (端起枪想打，又放下)What a big stomach! (摸摸Wolf的肚子)Grandma and Little Red Riding Hood are inside .I must be hurry．(从桌紫拿起剪刀，举起) Look! Scissors. (做剪Wolf的肚子)Cut, cut, cut. Little Red Riding Hood/Grandma：Thank you． Hunter： Grandma ,give me some needles and thread． Little Riding Hood ,Give me some stones． Grandma： (从桌紫拿来针线) Little Red Riding Hood：(搬来几个石头)One, two, three. Hunter： (把小石头装进Wolf的衣服里) Grandma： I'll thread it. Hunter： (拿起枪)Woke up! Wolf：(起床，两手托着大肚子)My stomach is so heavy. Hunter： You big bad wolf, raise your arms! Wolf：(边跑边说) Help! Don’t shot me! Hunter： （开枪）Bang, bang! Wolf： (应声倒下) Hunter： The bad wolf is dead． Little Red Riding Hood和Grandma：Yeah! Thank you． Little Red Riding Hood、Grandma、Hunter（一起鞠躬）: Thank you 这是我大学演过的,蛮好的~~~你们还可以唱歌,朗诵英文诗歌

Daniel: Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Eaties’ Grouphead office! I’m Daniel (Corporate Communication Department Manager).(greeting)Joyce: This is Joyce (Human Resources Manager).Arthur: Oh, regular weekly meeting again! I’m Arthur (CorporateConsultant). Nice to meet you all.Emily: Good day. This is Emily (Coffee Specialist). I seldom attendmeetings…I’m more technical in a sense. But they just need me present today…(drink coffee)William: I am William, I’m managing the Eaties’ Café chain. UsuallyI don’t need to be here. (worried) But this time I think I’m in trouble…Oh, itseems that the meeting is about to start, wish me good luck!

剧本主要是由台词和舞台指示组成的，是戏剧艺术创作的文本基础，编导与演员演出的依据。以下是我精心整理的英语短剧剧本，欢迎大家分享。

角色：小兔、小狗、小猴、山羊

characters: hare、dog、monkey、goat

画外音：小兔子肚子饿了，她想找些东西吃。找呀，找了半天。忽然发现小路边的地里长着一根萝卜。

兔：啊，一个萝卜！一个大萝卜！我把它拔出来。

H:Oh,a radish!A big radish!I’ll pull it out.

哎——嗨——呦！哎——嗨——呦！

Ai-----Hay---Yo! Ai---Hay---Yo!

这萝卜太重了。我拔不出来。

The radish is too heavy. I can’t pull it out.

狗：我是小狗。我饿了。哦，兔小姐，你在干什么？

D: I’m a dog. I’m hungry. Oh, Miss hare,What are you doing.

兔：你好，狗先生。一个萝卜，一个大萝卜。它太重了。我拔不出来。

H:Hello,Mr.Dog.A radish,a big radish.It’s too heavy.I can’t pull it out.

狗：我帮你。咱们一起拔。

D:I’ll help you.Let’s pull it together.

兔：谢谢你。咱们一起拔。

H:Thank you .Let’s pull it together.

兔和狗：一、二、开始！哎----嗨----呦！哎---嗨---呦！哦，这萝卜太重了。我们拔不出来。

H&D:One,two,begin!Ai---Hay—Yo!Ai—Hay—Yo!Oh,the radish is too heavy.We can’t pull it out.

（小猴走了过来）

猴：我是小猴。我饿了。哦，你们在干什么？

M:I’m a monkey. I’m hungry.Oh, What are you doing?

兔和狗：你好，猴先生。一个萝卜，一个大箩卜。它太重了。我们拔不出来。

H&D:Hello,Mr. Monkey. A radish, a big radish. It’s too heauy. We can’t pull it out.

猴：我帮你们。咱们一起拔。

M:I’ll help you. Let’s pull it together.

兔和狗：谢谢你。咱们一起拔。

H&D:Thank you. Let’s pull it together.

兔，狗和猴：一，二，开始！哎---嗨---呦！哎---嗨---呦！哦，这萝卜太重了。我们拔不出来。

H,D&M:One,two,begin! Ai---Hay---Yo! Ai—Hay---Yo!Oh,the radish is too heavy. We can’t pull it out.

（小山羊走了过来）

羊：我是山羊。我饿了。哦，你们在干什么？

G:I’m a goat. I’m hungry.Oh, what are you doing?

狗、兔和猴：你好，山羊先生。一个萝卜，一个大萝卜。它太重了。我们拔不出来。

H,D&M:Hello, Mr.Goat.A radish. a big radish.It’s too heavy. We can’t pull it out.

羊：我帮你们。咱们一起拔。

G:I’ll help you. Let’s pull it together.

狗，兔和猴：谢谢你，咱们一起拔。

H,D&M:Thank you.Let’s pull it together.

兔，狗，猴和羊：一，二，开始。哎—嗨---呦！这萝卜真大，这萝卜真重。哎—嗨—呦！我们必须使劲干。我们一定把它拔出来。

H,D,M&G:One,two,begin.Ai—Hay—Yo!The radish is big.The radish is heavy. Ai---Hay—Yo! We must work hard. We must pull it out.

兔，狗，猴和羊：哎—嗨—呦！啊，萝卜拔出来了！一个大萝卜！一个重萝卜。我们大家一起吃！

H,D,M&G:Ai—Hay—Yo!Ah, the radish is out! A big radish!We’ll eat it together .A heavy radish!

（他们一起围着大萝卜唱歌，跳舞。

甲：Hello,every one, have you ever seen the movie ? Yeah, you are right, Im the director-- Cameron Diaz, applaud , thank you…Recently, I will direct a new movie called < Avatar 2 >, today, there will be a audition and I will select three actresses who can get the chance to perform in this film with famous actress---Anne Hathaway,OK, lets begin. At first , talent show, number one, lets welcome.

乙：（风情万种，妖娆妩媚地走进来，给观众一个飞吻）：oh,honey,dear,sweet,darling director, the most beautiful charming, sexy girl is coming , every body knows me, right? Yeah, Im Nicole Kidman, open your eyes as big as you can and hold your breath, there will be a unique, fantastic dance show for you, I believe that all of you will be crazy about it ,（打个响指） come some music.（搞笑舞，自由发挥）。 （跳完，鞠躬，向观众谢幕）， thank you,（面向导演）， honey, is it a wonderful performance?

甲：（作目瞪口呆状），

乙：（在甲眼前晃手），oh, darling, are you Ok?

甲：eh…my god, have you use some stimulant drugs this morning, you make my nerves nervous. Get out , next one.

乙：oh no …sweet ,you break my heart…（掩面离去）

丙：oh it seems to be serious. God bless me（画个十字架，镇定地走到甲面前，伸出手）， nice to meet you, director.

甲：（与之握手），nice to meet you too,so, introduce yourself please.

丙：Im Celine Dion, you know, I dont have too many achievements, I just won five Grammy awards, 12 World Music Awards, 7 American Music Awards , 21 Juno Awards and（做沉思状） oh, I forget it , a Oscar Award, （同学鼓掌，乙作安抚状），oh, calm down, calm down,its just a piece of cake for me ,you know, I…

甲：ok ,stop, time is limited, just begin

丙：OK!!! Ill use my first signature song to conquer you --my heart will go on, just enjoy it.

near, far, wherever you are

i believe that the heart does go on

once more, you opened the door（甲stop stop,丙不理，继续作深情状）

and youre here in my heart,

and my heart will go on and on.

甲：guard ,guard,help,drag this mad woman out.

Oh, Im dying,hope the next one will give me a surprise

丁：（对着乙的.背影，沉思状）to be,or not to be,its a question!（走到甲面前牵起她的手做亲吻状），Im glad to see you,my dear princess.

甲（做娇羞状）：oh, its really a big surprise,so whats your name?

丁：My name? Oh, wait a minute. Do you know Trish Regan?（甲，白痴的摇头），eh,its ok,then how about Robin Meade?（摇头），and Melissa Theuriau?（摇头），（丁，情绪激动），you know nothing, how can you sit in here.

甲（指门，气愤状），you you you……

丁：ok ok, it doesnt matter, you neednt learn about them, but you must know me, the most famous hostess who will catch up with those person and become the greatest poet---oprah!

甲：I dont care who you are, just show me your talent.

丁：ok ,listen,one poem,I have had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her "I love you"!

甲（起鸡皮疙瘩状）：oh, I cant stand, show you the door,

丁（转身离开，继续台词）：If there is a time limit, I hope, it is （回头，对甲）10 thousand years.

甲：oh, its really a terrible ,awful, horrible day,why it is such difficult to find an excellent actress.Oh, Im dying,you three, come here,

三人跑进来，乙妩媚状：honey, you like my dance,right?

丙镇静状：director,you like my singing,right?

丁深情状：princess,you like my poet,right?

三人同声：we are past,right?

甲：ehThank you for your ehWonderful performance,but,Im sorry to tell you …（接电话） What? Nobody comes here except they three,oh…god.（挂电话，低头），you three,（抬头），pass!

三人欢呼，说：we make it,we are superstar!

乙（甜蜜状）：thats very sweet of you,we love you so much（飞个吻）

甲：you know, you are not good enough now, but Im look forward to your progress.Do you have confidence?

三人齐答：yes,we do!

甲伸手，三人搭上，同声，fight,fight,fight!

说明：绝对搞笑，绝对雷人，鉴于所花精力，所以，适当地收一点点辛苦费，第一个表演舞蹈时，音乐可以选用<猪八戒背媳妇>,第二个唱 时，一定要跑调加破音，第三个一定要足够深情恶心，就这么多提醒的，希望您看得开心，下的舒心。

人物：令狐冲（linghuchong），小师妹（little sister），任盈盈（yingying），东方不败（invincible eastern），小尼姑（little nun），田伯光（tianboguang），林平之（linpingzhi） 第一幕

（令狐冲与小师妹正在舞剑，甜蜜无比）

令狐冲：little sister ,you are the most beautful girl in this world!i will love you forever .

小师妹：（害羞）oh!really?you are the most handsome boy I have ever seen!i love you too!

令狐冲：I love you too

小师妹：I love you too too

令狐冲：I love you too too too!

（小师妹的剑不小心落下令狐冲捡起）

令狐冲：oh little sister ,your sword!

小师妹：no it’s your sword!

令狐冲：your sword!（扭扭咧咧）

小师妹：your sword!

令狐冲：your sword!

小师妹：it’s madness when I say it ,but not when you say about it! 令狐冲：ok , you are right ,it’s my sword. （顺从态）

令狐冲：little sister ,there is one thing I want to tell you ,master asked me to go downhill for a few days ,so during my absence ,brother lin will be with you ,take good care of yourself ,I will be back soon.

小师妹：rearlly?oh , my life will be boring without you!（伤感）so,good-bye!（突然兴奋）

第二幕

（令狐冲在下山后遇见正在调戏小尼姑的田伯光）

小尼姑：give away!

田伯光：come here!

小尼姑：if you talk any more nonsence, I’ll hit you with my sword! 小尼姑：keep away! keep away!

田伯光：let me take good care of you!don’t be afraid of me , I’m the most handsome man in china.

令狐冲：stop that! Don’t hurt that girl!

田伯光：who is that man?run far away if you don’t want to pass away! 令狐冲：so ,let’s fighting!（音乐，用功夫里面的那首）

（两人打斗，令狐冲不敌田伯光）

田伯光：give out that little boy!you can’t stop me from enjoying my life with her!

令狐冲：no ,if that!if that ,I’d rather die!

（再上，再被打败，重伤）

（突然闪出一人，身手凌厉，田伯光被秒掉）

小尼姑：unbelievable!he’s my hero!

东方不败：what a handsome man ,it would be a pity if you die here.and that’s why I save you ,so ,don’t fall in love with me ,forever!

令狐冲：you are a man ,how can I fall in love with you!

东方不败：but what if I ware a girl?

令狐冲：if that ,I won’t believe in love for any longer

东方不败：wait for me here!i’ll be back soon!

（熄灯，东方不败换女装）

令狐冲：you you are so beautiful! I love you

东方不败：no !we can never be together ,not because of you ,nor because of me ,it’s the world to blame!goodbey honey ,we won’t meet again.

（灯灭，第三幕）

（麻将声响起，四人麻将，分别是令狐冲，小师妹，林平之，任盈盈，令狐冲面对的是林平之）

（中文对话：

林平之：八筒

小师妹：吃

林平之：九条

小师妹：碰

林平之：五条

小师妹：杠！

令狐冲：五桶

小师妹：糊了！）

令狐冲：I lose again ,little sister ,brother lin is always help you !what’s the matter with you honey?

小师妹：so I will tell you the truth ,I am in love with brother lin ,compared with you ,he is more hot, he have strong kiss with me every now and then .but you ,have not even touch my hand during the past few years!

令狐冲：I’m so sad to hear that

任盈盈：brother linhu ,don’t be sad ,when you are longly ,I will be right by your side!

令狐冲：thank you yingying ,when everbody leave me ,you are the only one stay with me .

任盈盈：when you are longly ,I can play music for you ,so ,let us be together! I wana be your girl , and you are my boy!

令狐冲：ok,you are my girl now, do what you want to do!

（任盈盈抱住令狐冲，吻了他）

（灯灭）

（旁白：two years later ,it is said that invincible eastern was killed by linhuchong , the biggest enemy died , but the world get worse , people suffer from songshanpai . linghuchong live with renyingying from that day on , but is he happy ? who is the girl really in his heart? ）

第三幕

（非诚勿扰音乐，田伯光作为主持人，四位女嘉宾在场上端坐，分别是小师妹，小尼姑，任盈盈，东方不败，令狐冲上场）

田伯光：welcome to "no honesty no bother" I’m the compere xiaotiantian .taday there are 4 girls waiting for their boy.now let’s welcome the sunny boy linghuchong!（音乐）

令狐冲：holle everybody , I am linghuchong from huashan mountain,I’m a strong man as well as a handsome boy,you will never regret if you choose me .

田伯光：so girls , it’s time to turn down your light , to turn or not to turn it is a question

（都没有熄灯）

田伯光：it’s out of my surprise!all of the lights are on!so you can choose the girl you love best.

小师妹：brother , it was all my fault before, brother lin is no longer a real man I am so longly these days, the boy I really love is you!

小尼姑：brother , you have saved me , all my body ang heart are yours! 任盈盈：brother chong ,I am the girl who accompanied you .when you feel longly ,I played music for you .when you are happy ,I played music for you .when you are sad ,I played music for you!

令狐冲：but don’t you know I don’t love music?（径直走向东方不败，牵住她的手）

令狐冲：I thought you have passed away, it is so good to see you again 东方不败：I was saved by your master fengqingyang （停顿）。You wanted to kill me ,why choose me now?

令狐冲：I did’t want you know?it was not decide by me !belive in me ,you are the girl in my heart ! whether past or present!

东方不败：I won’t belive in you any more , you have so many female friends ,any of them can be your girl friend , isn’t it?

令狐冲：the girl you love is not the one who grow up with you ,nor the one who like you ,nor the one who play music for you ! she is the one you feel right ,and that is the most important.belive that you will always be my girl!

东方不败：thank you for your love , which I can’t afford to.we can never be together, it is decide by God . I will not marry you , nor see you again .so ,it is the last time we see each other .choose the one you like best and be kind to her .

Good-bye

荆轲刺秦王吧 我们刚演过 效果很好荆珂刺秦王搞笑英语话剧剧本 （Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）： Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister? 阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming. 太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”! 阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~ （作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！这句话要跟观众交流，最好由观众来回答，然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate? 阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world. 太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK? 阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me? 荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don\'t need any reason to win a person. Don\'t we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: \"Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you\'re gonna get.\" I got it, Momma is right. 荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”? 荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you? 荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife? 太子丹晕倒 荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding! 太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please? 荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着： To be or not to be, that's a question. 阿三：Hero，we need your help. 荆柯：I am busy now! 太子丹：You can get a lot of money. 荆柯：I am very busy now! 阿三：IC, ID, IQ card? 荆柯：I am very very busy now! 阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours. 荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love! 阿三：What? What’s the TCM? 荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer. 阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM? 观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM . 太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China. 荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight. 阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗…… （《No matter》音乐起，荆轲先与阿三跳探戈，拥入怀中，又甩出去，阿三做呕吐状。然后荆轲与太子丹跳伦巴，最后太子丹摆一个女性化的造型，向后弯腰并抬其中一条腿，荆轲做调戏状。） 荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you. 太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah! Action Ш （《大话西游》主题曲响起） 荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后. 阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River. 荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends 太子丹：I will miss you, baby. （太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。） 荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you. 妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》） 荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》) 妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you. 荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）. 妻子:"I promise." 荆轲:"Never let go. “ 妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go." （荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。） 妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪， 荆珂上船，渐渐远去 妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never…… 妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account. 阿三：Okay okay! 旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng. The End