三人英文短剧

三人英语搞笑话剧剧本

话剧指以对话为主的戏剧形式。下面是我为你带来的三人英语搞笑话剧剧本 ，欢迎阅读。

3人短剧，简单有趣，每人不超过10句话，并且都是很简单的话，经理只有一句词，但是还比较有水平。由一个笑话改编。

最后结果出人意料，其实是服务生误解了顾客。

C,the customer.

W,the waiter.

M,the manager.

In the restaurant.

W:What can I do for you,sir?

C:Beijing Roast Duck,Tomato and Egg Soup.That's all.

W:A moment.

W:Yours,sir.

C:Thank you.

C:Waiter.

W:Yes?Sir.

C:How can I have the soup?

W:I'm sorry.Sir.I'll change it for you.

W:Here your soup.Sir.

C:Thank you.

C:waiter!

W:Sir.

C:How can I have the soup?

W:Er.I'm terribly sorry.I change it in a second.

C:Sir.I'm sorry for the soup.Now is the soup.

W:OK.

C:Waiter!!

W:Sir?

C:Call your manager,please.

M:I'm sorry,sir,but what's wrong with the soup?

C:How can I have the soup without a SPOON?

人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒

J：沙僧

B：白骨精（何平） B1：B变成的`村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头

T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?

S: Bajie,map!

E: (摸出，递给S)

S: Look,boss (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）

T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, don’t bring these pictures of beautiful girls!

E: Oh, boss!Forgive me(伸手拿回)

T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west

E: But……

T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?

E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.

S: Fat Pig!

E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….

S: You will what(凶相)?

E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).

S: Hm!

T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?

E: You see , boss is hungry,too!

T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!

J: But boss,if a monster comes while brother monkey is away…..

T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?

S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）

J: This is…..?

S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from boss’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!

T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!

S: Bye!(走)

T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》

B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)

B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?

J: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.

B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!

T: Bomb?(打出)

B1: Double King!

T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a boss-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)

S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)

B1: （倒)Ah……

T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!

S: She is a monster!

T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)

S: Oh,please don’t……

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)

S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)

T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!

B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)

B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?

T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)

S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)

E&J: Are you Ok, boss?(扶T)

J: Look,(伸食指)how many?

T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)

B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)

S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)

T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!

S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!

T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!

S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》

J: boss, brother Monkey is.......

T: Don't mention that guy any more!

B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)

T: （惊）You are......

B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)

B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......

S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.

T: Wukong?

E: Oh,Brother Monkey!

J: Our hero is back!

T: I,I can't understand......What happened?

S: Boss,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!

T: How,how did you find out?

S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)

T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)

S: What?

T: I'm sorry.

S: Em? Louder,please?

T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）

(谢幕)

强烈推荐《买花女》又名窈窕淑女，只有三个主角，分别是一个女主角，两个男主角。挺有教育意义的！我们用过，效果还蛮好的！剧情：卖花女伊莉莎.杜利特尔，长得眉清目秀，聪明乖巧，但出身寒微，家境贫寒。她每天到街头叫卖鲜花，赚点钱补贴家用。一天，伊莉莎低俗的嗓音引起了语言学家希金斯教授的注意，教授夸口只要经过他的训练，卖花女也可以成为贵夫人。伊莉莎觉得教授说的话对她是一个机会，就主动上门请求教授训练她。教授的朋友皮克林和他打赌，如果让伊莉莎以贵夫人的身份出席6个月后将举办的大使游园会而不被人识破真相，那么皮克林愿意承担一切试验费用和伊莉莎的学费，这激起了教授的斗志，希金斯欣然接受了挑战。他是不甘示弱的，他从最基本的字母发音开始教起。希金斯是个精力旺盛和讲究科学的学者，对每一感兴趣件事都能废寝忘食。他胸怀坦荡、丝毫不怀任何恶意，但他又象孩子一样，毫不顾及他人的感情，对伊莉莎严加训练。有一次，希金斯带伊莉莎去参加母亲的家宴时,年轻的绅士弗雷迪被伊莉莎的美貌和谈吐自若的神情深深打动,一见倾心,竟然丝毫也认不出她就是曾经在雨中向他叫卖的肮脏的卖花姑娘不。希金斯已经40多岁，还未结婚，他从来看不上年轻姑娘，可现在在生活上竟然离不开伊莉莎了。他的衣服饮食和约会安排，全凭伊莉莎照料。然而使伊莉莎气恼的是希金斯简单粗暴的脾气。他教她温文尔雅的用语，却从不用温文尔雅的态度对待她。6个月后，希金斯满怀信心地带伊莉莎和皮克林一起出席希腊大使举办的招待会。伊莉莎是以皮克林上校的养女的身份参加这次大使的招待会的，她全力以赴，谈笑自若，风度翩翩，光彩照人。当她出现在大家面前时，人们停止了交谈，欣赏着她令人倾倒的仪态。她的待人接物圆熟而老练，而又恰到好处，希金斯的第一个学生尼波姆克用尽看家本领与伊莉莎周旋，却被伊莉莎弄得晕头转向，失败而归，希金斯成功了。但当回到家里后，由于希金斯无视疲惫不堪的伊莉莎的存在，而是只顾和朋友庆祝打赌的成功，伊莉莎自尊心受到了伤害，委屈之下，愤然离开了希金斯的家。她在门口遇到了痴情的弗雷迪－他每天晚上都来到伊莉莎窗下徘徊，默默地关注着伊莉莎，伊莉莎为他的痴心感动。虽然希金斯态度暴躁，然而却是真情实意地对待伊莉莎，在伊莉莎赌气出走之后因此而十分苦闷，他到母亲家找她，两人却又吵了一架。伊莉莎表示要嫁给弗雷迪，希金斯既惊讶又生气，愤然离去。但是回家途中却又不可抑制地想起伊莉莎，当他一人在家中听着当初伊莉莎的录音时，伊莉莎回来了！她还是爱着希金斯！

Three visits to the cottage 主要人物：诸葛亮、诸葛家仆人（朱不亮）、刘备、关羽、张飞、旁白（同时操作电脑） 旁白： Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐） is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. Now，let’s go into the story. 第一幕 屋子中，诸葛亮在屋里走着， 诸葛亮：Buliang，this classroom is so dirty，猪不亮扫地，送水（营养快线） 三兄弟上场，关羽（头巾），刘备（墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝） 刘：饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙 A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.（伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气） 刘：嗯？没点着 En? It dosen’t burn on. 张飞：凑合着吧，老师不让抽烟 Sorry，we can only has this.We can’t smoke in the classroom! 关羽：此番前来，定要邀请的卧龙先生 We must invite Mr.Zhu Geliang! 张飞：必须的，老曹太欺负人了 Certainly,Mr.Cao bully us too much. 三人来到门前，石头剪子布 刘备：According to our custom？ 关羽：OK. 张飞：No problem. 刘备三人进行石头剪子布，刘备输了，其余两人把刘备推到前面。 刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态，（上海滩响起） 刘备作按门铃状，（门铃声响起）。 诸葛亮：Bu liang（不亮）, go to open the door. 仆人：Heng!(哼) 仆人板着个脸到了门口，做了一个甩头的动作，并呼啦呼啦头发，然后深呼吸，放平稳，保持微笑。然后打开门，举了个躬。 仆人：안녕하세요(发音a ni ha sai yao~~~，中文意思：你好) 刘备：Can you speak English? 关羽：（紧接着刘备）Can you speak Chinese? 张飞：（紧接着）Can you speak Japanese? 历史老照片不能说的秘密慈禧军阀明末清初文革晚清刘备：（紧接着）Spanish? 关羽：（紧接着）Congolese? 张飞：（紧接着）Egyptian? 仆人：（紧接着）Shut up! Who are you people? 刘备：(摆个pose)I’m Liubei. 关羽：(也摆个pose)I’m Guanyu. 张飞：(同样摆个pose，把关羽碰倒了)I’m Sorry. 刘备三人赶紧把仆人扶起来。 猪不亮：你们怎么来的啊 What do you three take to come here? 张飞：骑马来的啊，做骑马状 Riding a horse ,of course. 猪不亮：那你们怎么骑马来的啊？ So,How do you riding a horse? 三人面面相觑，猪不亮关门 刘备突然明白了，“money！！” 张飞关羽耸肩都没带钱，下台 第二幕 三兄弟上台，张飞关羽手提礼品 关羽猥琐的说:这次应该可以了吧，上次也怨我们 I think we’ll manage it this time. 张飞：啥啊，如果你不是拉着我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮状，老虎声音） What? If you don’t pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong throat! 刘备：行了，行了，我们来干啥来了 稍息。。。立正。。。（张飞关羽照做） Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!—Attention! 刘备：都给我机灵点（张飞关羽点头答应） You three! Be clever this time! 屋子中„„ （英文歌，诸葛亮和猪不亮正喝酒，猪不亮哼着英语歌，他两个喝醉了） 诸葛亮：MY GOD！！上天你为什么这么惩罚我 My God!! Why do you punish me?! 猪不亮：老大别难过，班长杨超不也没过吗 Don’t be sad,my boss. As I know,our monitor does’t pass the examination. 诸葛亮：我的四级考试啊，开始哭．．． What？our monitor does’t pass the examination？But，My English cet band 4 also losed··· （换背景音乐，猪不亮跟着哭，门铃响，猪不亮醉醺醺的摇摇晃晃去开门） 猪不亮：谁啊 Who’s this? 张飞：收水费的 I come here to charge the bill of electricity （开门，三人一脸嬉笑） 刘备：我们又来了，麻烦小弟通报一下 We are here again,bother to notice your boss. （猪不亮四下环顾，把礼品接过来了） （屋子里传来悲伤的气息，张飞和关羽抹眼泪） 张飞：怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头（自言自语） I just feel some feeling of sorrow in my heart.. 关羽：请问卧龙先生在家吗，我们想见一下（SEE） Is Mr Zhu Ge home? We want to have a talk with him ,please. 猪不亮：吟诗，见与不见。。。 （你见，或者不见我 It’s doesn’t matter if you see me or not 我就在那里 I am standing right there 不悲不喜 With no emotion 你念，或者不念我 It’s doesn’t matter if you miss me or not 情就在那里 The feeling is right there 不来不去 And it isn’t going anywhere 你爱或者不爱我 It’s doesn’t matter） （猪不亮转身关门，站不稳） 刘：What?！！ 张飞：是不是家里死人了，下次再来吧 I’m afraid some-one important of him died here. Let’s go. Maybe we should come next time. 关羽：希望死的不是诸葛亮 Oh, I wish Zhu Geliang does’t die„ （关羽，刘备打张飞，下台。。） 第三幕 （诸葛亮和猪不亮玩三国杀，背景音乐，术语） （诸葛亮又赢了） 猪不亮：老大你真NB You are the man ! 诸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算过了年就去找刘备，找份工作 Hum！That’s a piece of cake. And I think I should go to Liu Bei’s corporation to find a job after Spring Festival. 猪不亮：你想去刘备那里？？ What? You said you wanna to go to Liu Bei’s company? 诸葛亮：嗯，那里用不着英语 En...That’s a good place in which I need not speak English. 猪不亮：前几天他来过了，让我赶跑了 But...uh, I drove him away a few days ago. 门铃响。。 猪不亮：说来就来了 Speak of the devil and he doth appear. （三兄弟，大跨步的走进来，诸葛亮一见到很激动） 诸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（拥抱）你带我走吧 Boss! I ached for you so much, please help me! 刘备：镇定镇定，既然兄弟这么看得起我，那咱们就一起大干一场吧 Be calm. Since you trust me so much, let’s go and do it! （出发。。） 诸葛亮：大哥等等，那。。那，一月多少钱啊 Wait,wait...My boss, uh, how much will.. I get.. from you then. 张飞：（恐吓状）兄弟之间不谈钱，谈钱多伤感情，（拎着诸葛亮就走） It hurts feelings when it comes to money! （猪不亮在后面拿着包袱，大喊） 猪不亮：带上我吧，（走路（小沈阳状）） Oh, Please take me away. 闭幕。。。。