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My Alba, by Allen Ginsberg

4 March 2012

I picked up Ginsbergy’s Reality Sandwiches in Maelstrom this week. I opened it, and straight away, something punchy. But I must make a disclosure: I was besuited when I bought it, strolling back from a conference in the European quarter, my own beat credentials in tatters.

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Now that I’ve wastedfive years in Manhattanlife decayingtalent a blank

talking disconnectedpatient and mentalsliderule and numbermachine on a desk

autographed triplicatesynopis and taxesobedient promptpoorly paid

stayed on the marketyouth of my twentiesfainted in officeswept on typewriters

deceived multitudesin vast conspiraciesdeodorant battleshipsserious business industry

every six weeks whoeverdrank my blood bankinnocent evil nowpart of my system

five years unhappy labor22 to 27 workingnot a dime in the bankto show for it anyway

dawn breaks it’s only the sunthe East smokes O my bedroomI am damned to Hell whatalarmclock is ringing

NY 1953

[Ripped from http://www.nbu.bg/webs/amb/american/5/ginsberg/alba.htm; they state the date of publication rather than the date of composition.]

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我的晚色从陌生的树木中走来，它用我的晓星所不懂得的语言说话。 My evening came among the alien trees and spoke in a language which my morning stars did not know. 213 夜之黑暗是一只口袋，迸出黎明的金光。 Night's darkness is a bag that bursts with the gold of the dawn. 214 我们的欲望把彩虹的颜色借给那只不过是云雾的人生。 Our desire lends the colours of the rainbow to the mere mists and vapours of life. 215 神等待着，要从人的手上把他自己的花朵作为礼物赢得回去。 God waits to win back his own flowers as gifts from man's hands. 216 我的忧思缠绕着我，要问我它自己的名字。 My sad thoughts tease me asking me their own names. 217 果的事业是尊贵的，花的事业是甜美的；但是让我做叶的事业吧，叶是谦 逊地，专心地垂着绿荫的。 The service of the fruit is precious, the service of the flower is sweet, but let my service be the service of the leaves in its shade of humble devotion. 218 我的心向着阑珊的风张了帆，要到无论何处的荫凉之岛去。 My heart has spread its sails to the idle winds for the shadowy island of Anywhere. 219 独夫们是凶暴的，但人民是善良的。 Men are cruel, but Man is kind. 220 把我当做你的杯吧，让我为了你，而且为了你的人而盛满水吧。 Make me thy cup and let my fulness be for thee and for thine. 221 狂风暴雨象是在痛苦中的某个天神的哭声，因为他的爱情被大地所拒绝。 The storm is like the cry of some god in pain whose love the earth refuses. 222 世界不会流失，因为死亡并不是一个罅隙。 The world does not leak because death is not a crack. 223 生命因为付出了的爱情而更为富足。 Life has become richer by the love that has been lost. 224 我的朋友，你伟大的心闪射出东方朝阳的光芒，正如黎明中的一个积雪的 孤峰。 My friend, your great heart shone with the sunrise of the East like the snowy summit of a lonely hill in the dawn. 225 死之流泉，使生的止水跳跃。 The fountain of death makes the still water of life play. 226 那些有一切东西而没有您的人，我的上帝，在讥笑着那些没有别的东西而 只有您的人呢。 Those who have everything but thee, my God, laugh at those who have nothing but thyself. 227 生命的运动在它自己的音乐里得到它的休息。 The movement of life has its rest in its own music. 228 踢足只能从地上扬起尘土而不能得到收获。 Kicks only raise dust and not crops from the earth. 229 我们的名字，便是夜里海波上发出的光，痕迹也不留就抿灭了。 Our names are the light that glows on the sea waves at night and then dies without leaving its signature. 230 让睁眼看着玫瑰花的人也看看它的刺。 Let him only see the thorns who has eyes to see the rose. 231 鸟翼上系上了黄金，这鸟便永不能再在天上翱翔了。 Set the bird's wings with gold and it will never again soar in the sky. 232 我们地方的荷花又在这陌生的水上开了花，放出同样的清香，只是名字换 了。 The same lotus of our clime blooms here in the alien water with the same sweetness, under another name. 233 在心的远景里，那相隔的距离显得更广阔了。 In heart's perspective the distance looms large. 234 月儿把她的光明遍照在天上，却留着她的黑斑给她自己。 The moon has her light all over the sky, her dark spots to herself. 235 不要说：“这是早晨”，别用一个“昨天”的名词把它打发掉。你第一次 看到它，把它当作还没有名字的新生孩子吧。 Do not say, "It is morning," and dismiss it with a mane of yesterday. See it for the first time as a new-born child that has no name. 236 青烟对天空夸口，灰烬对大地夸口，都以为它们是火的兄弟。 Smoke boasts to the sky, and Ashes to the earth, that they are brothers to the fire. 237 雨点向茉莉花微语道：“把我永久地留在你的心里吧。” 茉莉花叹息了一声，落在地上了。 The raindrop whispered to the jasmine, "Keep me in your heart for ever." The jasmine sighed, "Alas," and dropped to the ground. 238 腆怯的思想呀，不要怕我。 我是一个诗人。 Timid thoughts, do not be afraid of me. I am a poet. 239 我的心在朦胧的沉默里，似乎充满了蟋蟀的鸣声－－声音的灰暗的 暮色。 The dim silence of my mind seems filled with crickets' chirp --- the grey twilight of sound. 240 爆竹呀，你对群星的侮蔑，又跟着你自己回到地上来了。 Rockets, your insult to the stars follows yourself back to the earth. 241 您曾经带领着我，穿过我的白天的拥挤不堪的旅程，而到达了我的黄昏的 孤寂之境。 在通宵的寂静里，我等待着它的意义。 Thou hast led me through my crowded travels of the day to my evening's loneliness. I wait for its meaning through the stillness of the night. 242 我们的生命就似渡过一个大海，我们都相聚在这个狭小的舟中。 死时，我们便到了岸，各往各的世界去了。 This life is the crossing of a sea, where we meet in the same narrow ship. In death we reach the shore and go to our different worlds. 243 真理之川从它的错误之沟渠中流过。 The stream of truth flows through its channels of mistakes. 244 今天我的心是在想家了，在想着那跨过时间之海的那一个甜蜜的时候。 My heart is homesick today for the one sweet hour across the sea of time. 245 鸟的歌声是曙光从大地反响过去的回声。 The bird-song is the echo of the morning light back from the earth. 246 晨光问毛茛道：“你是骄傲得不肯和我接吻么？” Are you too proud to kiss me? 247 小花问道：“我要怎样地对你唱，怎样地崇拜你呢？太阳呀？” 太阳答道：“只要用你的纯洁的素朴的沉默。” How may I sing to thee and worship, O Sun? By the simple silence of thy purity, 248 当人是兽时，他比兽还坏。 Man is worse than an animal when he is an animal. 249 黑云受光的接吻时便变成天上的花朵。 Dark clouds become heaven's flowers when kissed by light. 250 不要让刀锋讥笑它柄子的拙钝。 Let not the sword-blade mock its handle for being blunt. 251 夜的沉默，如一个深深的灯盏，银河便是它燃着的灯光。 The night's silence, like a deep lamp, is burning with the light of its milky way. 飞 鸟 集 251-300 252 死象大海的无限的歌声，日夜冲击着生命的光明岛的四周。 Around the sunny island of Life swells day and night death's limitless song of the sea. 253 花瓣似的山峰在饮着日光，这山岂不象一朵花吗繝 Is not this mountain like a flower, with its petals of hill, drinking the sunlight? 254 “真实”的含义被误解，轻重被倒置，那就成了“不真实”。 The real with its meaning read wrong and emphasis misplaced is the unreal. 255 我的心呀，从世界的流动找你的美吧，正如那小船得到风与水的优美似的。 Find your beauty, my heart, from the world's movement, like the boat that has the grace of the wind and the water. 256 眼不能以视来骄人，却以它们的眼镜来骄人。 The eyes are not proud of their sight but of their eyeglasses. 257 我住在我的这个小小的世界里，生怕使它再缩小一丁点儿。把我抬举到您 的世界里去吧，让我高高兴兴地失去我的一切的自由。 I live in this little world of mine and am afraid to make it the least less. Life me into thy world and let me have the freedom gladly to lose my all. 258 虚伪永远不能凭借它生长在权力中而变成真实。 The false can never grow into truth by growing in power. 259 我的心，同着它的歌的拍拍舐岸的波浪，渴望着要抚爱这个阳光熙 和的绿色世界。 My heart, with its lapping waves of son, longs to caress this green world of the sunny day. 260 道旁的草，爱那天上的星吧，你的梦境便可在花朵里实现了。 Wayside grass, love the star, then your dreams will come out in flowers. 261 让你的音乐如一柄利刃，直刺入市井喧扰的心中吧。 Let your music, like a sword, pierce the noise of the market to its heart. 262 这树的颤动之叶，触动着我的心，象一个婴儿的手指。 The trembling leaves of this tree touch my heart like the fingers of an infant child. 263 小花睡在尘土里。 它寻求蛱蝶走的道路。 The little flower lies in the dust. It sought the path of the butterfly. 264 我是在道路纵横的世界上。 夜来了。打开您的门吧，家之世界呵！ I am in the world of the roads. The night comes. Open thy gate, thou world of the home. 265 我已经唱过了您的白天的歌。 在黄昏的时候，让我拿着您的灯走过风雨飘摇的道路吧。 I have sung the songs of thy day. In the evening let me carry thy lamp through the stormy path. 266 我不要求你进我的屋里。 你到我无量的孤寂里来吧，我的爱人！ I do not ask thee into the house. Come into my infinite loneliness, my Lover. 267 死亡隶属于生命，正与生一样。 举足是走路，正如落足也是走路。 Death belongs to life as birth does. The walk is in the raising of the foot as in the laying of it down. 268 我已经学会在花与阳光里微语的意义。－－再教我明白你在苦与死 中所说的话吧。 I have learnt the simple meaning of thy whispers in flowers and sunshine ---teach me to know thy words in pain and death. 269 夜的花朵来晚了，当早晨吻着她时，她颤栗着，叹息了一声，萎落在地上 了。 The night's flower was late when the morning kissed her, she shivered and sighed and dropped to the ground. 270 从万物的愁苦中，我听见了“永恒母亲”的呻吟。 Through the sadness of all things I hear the crooning of the Eternal Mother. 271 大地呀，我到你岸上时是一个陌生人，住在你屋内时是一个宾客，离开你 的门时是一个朋友。 I came to your shore as a stranger, I lived in your house as a guest, I leave your door as a friend, my earth. 272 当我去时，让我的思想到你那里来，如那夕阳的余光，映在沉默的星天的 边上。 Let my thoughts come to you, when I am gone, like the after glow of sunset at the margin of starry silence. 273 在我的心头燃点起那休憩的黄昏星吧，然后让黑夜向我微语着爱情。 Light in my heart the evening star of rest and then let the night whisper to me of love. 274 我是一个在黑暗中的孩子。 我从夜的被单里向您伸出我的双手，母亲。 I am a child in the dark. I stretch my hands through the coverlet of night for thee, Mother. 275 白天的工作完了。把我的脸掩藏在您的臂间吧，母亲。 让我入梦吧。 The day of work is done. Hide my face in your arms, Mother. Let me dream. 276 集会时的灯光，点了很久，会散时，灯便立刻灭了。 The lamp of meeting burns long; it goes out in a moment at the parting. 277 当我死时，世界呀，请在你的沉默中，替我留着“我已经爱过了”这句话 吧。 One word keep for me in thy silence, O World, when I am dead, I have loved. 278 我们在热爱世界时便生活在这世界上。 We live in this world when we love it. 279 让死者有那不朽的名，但让生者有那不朽的爱。 Let the dead have the immortality of fame, but the living the immortality of love. 280 我看见你，象那半醒的婴孩在黎明的微光里看见他的母亲，于是微笑而又 睡去了。 I have seen thee as the half-awakened child sees his mother in the dusk of the dawn and then smiles and sleeps again. 281 我将死了又死，以明白生是无穷无尽的。 I shall die again and again to know that life is inexhaustible. 282 当我和拥挤的人群一同在路上走过时，我看见您从阳台上送过来的微笑， 我歌唱着，忘却了所有的喧哗。 While I was passing with the crowd in the road I saw thy smile from the balcony and I sang and forgot all noise. 283 爱就是充实了的生命，正如盛满了酒的酒杯。 Love is life in its fulness like the cup with its wine. 284 他们点了他们自己的灯，在他们的寺院内，吟唱他们自己的话语。 但是小鸟们却在你的晨光中，唱着你的名字，－－因为你的名字便是快乐。 They light their own lamps and sing their own words in their temples. But the birds sing thy name in thine own morning light, --- for thy name is joy. 285 领我到您的沉寂的中心，使我的心充满了歌吧。 Lead me in the centre of thy silence to fill my heart with songs. 286 让那些选择了他们自己的焰火咝咝的世界的，就生活在那里吧。 我的心渴望着您的繁星，我的上帝。 Let them live who choose in their own hissing world of fireworks. My heart long s for thy stars, my God. 287 爱的痛苦环绕着我的一生，象汹涌的大海似地唱；而爱的快乐却象鸟儿们 在话林里似地唱着。 Love's pain sang round my life like the unplumbed sea, and love's joy sang like birds in its flowering groves. 288 假如您愿意，您就熄了灯吧。 我将明白您的黑暗，而且将喜爱它。 Put out the lamp when thou wishest. I shall know thy darkness and shall love it. 289 当我在那日子的终了，站在您的面前时，您将看见我的伤疤，而知道我有 我的许多创伤，但也有我的医治的法儿。 When I stand before thee at the day s end thou shalt see my scars and know that I had my wounds and also my healing. 290 总有一天，我要在别的世界的晨光里对你唱道：“我以前在地球的光里， 在人的爱里，已经见过你了。” Some day I shall sing to thee in the sunrise of some other world, I have seen thee before in the light of the earth, in the love of man. 291 从别的日子里飘浮道我的生命里的云，不再落下雨点或引起风暴了，却只 给予我的夕阳的天空以色彩。 Clouds come floating into my life from other days no longer to shed rain or usher storm but to give colour to my sunset sky. 292 真理引起了反对它自己的狂风骤雨，那场风雨吹散了真理的广播的种子。 Truth raises against itself the storm that scatters its seeds broadcast. 293 昨夜的风雨给今日的早晨戴上了金色的和平。 The storm of the last night has crowned this morning with golden peace. 294 真理仿佛带了它的结论而来；而那结论却产生了它的第二个。 Truth seems to come with its final word; and the final word gives birth to its next. 295 他是有福的，因为他的名望并没有比他的真实更光亮。 Blessed is he whose fame does not outshine his truth. 296 您的名字的甜蜜充溢着我的心，而我忘掉了我自己的，－－就象您的早晨 的太阳升起时，那大雾便消失了。 Sweetness of thy name fills my heart when I forget mine---like thy morning sun when the mist is melted. 297 静悄悄的黑夜具有母亲的美丽，而吵闹的白天具有孩子的美丽。 The silent night has the beauty of the mother and the clamorous day of the child. 298 但人微笑时，世界爱了他；但他大笑时世界便怕他了。 The world loved man when he smiled. The world became afraid of him when he laughed. 299 神等待着人在智慧中重新获得童年。 God waits for man to regain his childhood in wisdom. 300 让我感到这个世界乃是您的爱的成形吧，那末，我的爱也将帮助着它。 Let me feel this world as thy love taking form, then my ove will help it.