英语精彩两分钟

马克·吐温是一位美国作家。一天，他坐火车去一个城市，要在那儿探望一个朋友他是一个很忙的人，经常会忘记一些事情。当他上了火车，列车员要看他的车票。马克·吐温到处找票，但是没找着。这位列车员认识马克·吐温，他说：“如果你找不到，也没什么关系的。在你回来时让我看看你的票。”“哦不可以”，马克吐温说，“我必须找到车票，如果我找不到它，我怎么知道我要去哪儿啊？”Mark Twain is an American writer. One day, he went to a city, the train to visit a friend in there, he is a very busy man, often forget things. When he got on the train, conductor to see his ticket. Mark Twain looked everywhere for tickets, but could not find him. The conductor know Mark Twain, he said: "if you find nothing, in the relationship. When you come back, let me see your ticket." "Oh can't", Mark Twain said, "I must find the ticket, if I find it, how do I know where I am going?"

The Old Cat An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it. Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young." 【译文】 老猫 一位老妇有只猫，这只猫很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了东西，因为它年纪太大了。一天，老猫发现一只老鼠，它跳过去抓这只老鼠，然而，它咬不住这只老鼠。因此，老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了，因为老猫咬不了它。 于是，老妇很生气，因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死。她开始打这只猫，猫说：“不要打你的老仆人，我已经为你服务了很多年，而且还愿意为你效劳，但是，我实在太老了，对年纪大的不要这么无情，要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情。”

The teacher asked Tom:why did you come to school so late this morning?someone lost one yuan,answered Tom,oh,I konw,you helped him find the money ,the techer sais,no,I stood on the money until the person went away,was Tom's replythe water was getting dangerously deep by now so the helicopter came back and,on cue,the man repeated,I don't need saving,my lord will come.Reluctantly,the helicopter leftthe rain continued to pour,the water continued to rise and the man drowned ,At the gate of heaven,the man met St,peter,confused,he asked,peter,I havelived a life of a faithfulman,why did my lord not rescue me?st peter repliedFor pity sake,He sent you two helicopters and a boat.two guys were walking through the jungle,all of a sudden,a tger appears from a distance,running towards them,one of the guys takes out a pair of Nikes from his bag and starts to put them on,the guy other with a surprised look on his face exclaaims,Do you think you will runfaster than the tiger with those,his friends replies,I don't have to run it out,I just have yo run faster than you. Mrs ford sobbed to her maid,Oh beverly,I think my husband is leving an affair with his secretary,I can't believe thatBeverly snapped,you are just saying that to make me jealousthe plane crashed Nast is black athlete from Africa,he was the world champion for men's 100meters' butterfly swimming in the Barelona Olympic Games he captured only a bronze medal,when he was interviewed by a reporter,he said,during the match ,the spectators all shouted joy and encouragement to me,Mr plane,cheer up,but unfortunately,the plane crashed tonight.before singing,a famouse actor from taiwan was asking the audience in his hometon,have you heard my singingbefor,when he received a mixture of responses,he marked it's a great pity that you havn't heard my singing,nut it's even great pity once you have heard my singing.Two friens meet in the strret whe the following conversation takes plane JaneI havent seen you recentlywhat are you busy at Mary well,you know,I have so mant appointments with my doctor these days Iane,whant's wrong with you mary Nothing wrong with me physically the doctor is my fathera serous drunk walked into a bar and,after ataring for some time at the onlty womn seatedf at the bar,walked over to her and kissed her,she jumped up and slapped him silly,he immediately apologized and explainedI'm sorrry i thought you were my wife,you look exactly like herwhy you worthless,insufferable,wretched no good frunk,she screamed,funny,he muttered,you even sound exactly like her

从前有一个狐狸，看到树上有一串葡萄。它开始感到很高兴，尽量想得到这串葡萄。试了几次后，它才知道要得到这串葡萄很难的。最后它只好放弃 There was a