英语翻译搞笑视频

搞笑视频

翻译：

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MTV台利用魔戒首部曲组成魔戒远征队时的片段剪接而成的超搞笑版！真的笑死人了！ 建议大家一定要直接看才够爆笑！很多精彩之处不在台词里。 ==== 以下翻译请先看过原片再参考 ==== Elrond: strangers from distant lands, friends of old, Elrond：来自四面八方的陌生朋友们、各位老友们Elrond: you have been summoned here to answer the threat of mordor.Elrond：这次是为了回应魔多的威胁而召唤诸位来到这里Elrond: middle-earth stands upon the brink of destruction.Elrond：中土世界如今已经面临毁灭的边缘了Elrond: Bring forth the Ring.Elrond：把魔戒呈上前来吧（某女星假扮的Arwen以及某男星扮演哈比人突然出现在电影片段中 ）Arwen: Jack, did you , have the ring, don't you?Arwen：Jack，魔戒不是你拿著吗？Jack : yes. yes, I have the ring Jack：呃....是的....魔戒是在我这里是没错.....Jack: the thing is, last night, me and some buddies had a little too much mead,Jack：不过呢，由於昨天晚上我跟几个死党喝得稍微多了一点....Jack: and we ended up at the piercing parlor,Jack：后来不知怎麼搞的我们跑到穿耳洞的店里去....Jack: and we ended up， and....Jack：然后....我们....啊.....Jack: a long story short...Jack：好吧，这样比较快....... （脱掉裤子露出小弟弟）Arwen : oh, my god.Arwen：喔！天啊！Boromir: it is a gift.Boromir：真是天赋异「柄」！Jack : you're damn right, it's a giftJack：你说的一点儿也没错，这是我最骄傲的天赋 ^^Jack : it's called a "Prince Albert,"Jack：它的名字叫做「亚伯特王子」（本来就是小弟弟的昵称 ）Jack : and it's my preciousJack：这是我的宝贝-- （学Gollum的表情跟语气 ）Arwen : so, you're telling usArwen：呃....所以你是要告诉我们说Arwen : that you took the fabled Ring of Sauron,Arwen：你拿了传说中的索伦之戒Arwen : the one ring that could destroy allof middle-earth,Arwen: 那枚足以毁灭整个中土世界的戒指！Arwen: and attached it to your--Arwen: 然后把它黏到你的....Arwen: your little Hobbit there?Arwen: 你的小弟弟的上面？！Jack: it was easy.Jack: 对啊，这很简单啊Jack : see, what they do isJack: 你瞧，他们的作法就是Jack : they heat up this metal spike,Jack: 先把一根大钢钉烧热Jack : then they drive it through your penis,Jack: 然后把它戳进你的小弟弟里Jack : and then they just wiggle it around a little bitJack: 再来用力捣一捣Jack : to make sure the hole's big enough,Jack: 等到他们觉得洞够大了Jack: then they put a hinge on the ring, snap it shut,Jack: 然后就用绞练穿过魔戒，把它们一起锁紧，Jack: boom, it's on there forever, baby.Jack: 搞定！这样它们就永远黏在一起了，宝贝。Arwen : that's disgusting.Arwen: 真是有够恶心的Jack: you say that now.Jack: 你现在是这样讲！Jack : this little bad boyJack: 可是等你知道这个小坏坏....Jack : gets the ladies where they're trying to go every time.Jack: 每次都能让女士们High到最高点的话....Elrond:that Ring must be destroyed.Elrond: 这枚戒指必须被摧毁Jack: Yo, Eyebrows, stay out of this.Jack: 喂！眉毛兄！（Elrond谐音），别想动他！Arwen : Jack!Arwen: Jack！Arwen : none of us are comfortable with the fate of middle- earthArwen: 我们没有任何一个人可以忍受中土世界的命运....Arwen: dangling from your--Arwen: 得「维系」在你的....Arwen: oh, my god! it's moving.Arwen: 喔！天啊！「它」在动！Legolas: the ring must be destroyed.Legolas: 这个戒指必须被摧毁！Jack: okay, fine. I'm taking it off.Jack: 好啦好啦！我把它拿下来可以了吧！Jack : Jeez Louise!Jack：真是....Jack: I can't get it off.Jack: 啊...我拿不下来.... （不断挣扎....过了一会儿）Arwen: Maybe somebody should help him with that?Arwen: 呃，哪位出来帮他一下？ 众人全部争先恐后起立 （这是原电影片段喔 XDDD）: : oh, for god's sake, somebody, help him. 假Arwen: 喔，拜托，别吵了，快点帮他拿下来！ : : You have my sword.Aragon前来跪在小底迪面前 XD: 你有我的剑！ : : And my ax. Gimli：还有我的斧头！ : : Dude put down the ax. Jack: 老兄，把斧头放下（惊！） : : You know, I knew you guys wouldn't be supportive. Jack: 你知道吗，我早就晓得你们根本帮不上忙了。 : : Gimle, when you wanted to grow a beard, Jack: Gimli，当你说你想要留胡子的时候， : : we all said it would look dumb, Jack: 我们都跟你说那看起来一定很驴，: : but you did it anyway, and now you've got a cool Rob Zombie thing going on. Jack: 可是你还是不管三七二十一的留了，结果你看看你现在跟僵尸一样！ : : And, Elrond, the headband, it's a little 1983, Jack: 还有，Elrond，你的头饰，那已经是1983年的老流行了！ : : but that's cool Jack: 不过这还不打紧 : : And, Frodo, remember when--Jack: 还有，佛罗多，你记得吗？当.... : : Frodo? Jack: 佛罗多？ （Frodo仍然惊讶的盯著他的小底迪 XD） : : Yo, Frodo Eyes up here Jack: 喂！佛罗多，把眼睛往上看到这里！ : : Jack, you're right.Arwen: 杰克，你说的没错。 : : None of us have been very supportive, Arwen: 我们没有人能够帮的上忙 : : and it is a very attractive piercing. Arwen: 而且这是一个非常有吸引力的穿洞.... : : and it is it okay if i... Arwen: 我是否可以.... : : take a closer look? Arwen（往下瞄）: 靠近一点看一下呢？ : : But, of course, my lady. Jack: 当然罗，女士 ^^ （Arwen沈到下面去）: : You might notice the fine craftsmanship. Jack: 你应该可以注意到它的制作有多麼地精致..... : : Ahhhhhhhhh!Jack: 哇啊啊啊啊啊啊！ （Arwen拿著戒指站起来） : : Okay. Let's get this bitch to Mount Doom. Arwen: 好了！让我们戒指送到末日火山去吧！

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