笑话英语带翻译

带翻译的英语笑话大全

你知道学些笑话的好处么?当第一次见面的时候，总是有不知道该说什么的尴尬，这时候你就需要一些笑话，来缓解一下气氛呢，这里我为你收集整理了带翻译的英语笑话大全，希望能对你有所帮助哈!

The Great Lion Hunter 伟大的猎手

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.

For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping(披盖) the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.

In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling(凝结)shrieks(尖叫) coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.

What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.

Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?

有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。

猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只牛然后把头皮给他。把牛皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。

半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的`蛛丝马迹。

Jonesie，怎么了?狮子在哪?村长问。

哪有狮子!猎人怒吼道，哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了?

The lowest grade 最低分

"Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don't think I deserve a zero."

"Neither do I. But that's the lowest grade I'm allowed to give."

学生：“教授先生，我这次考试已经竭尽全力了。我真的觉得我不应该得零蛋。”

老师：“我也是。但是这已经是我能给的最低分了!”

Wait for your salary 你等着发工资吧

If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.

If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money...

wait for your salary.

如果你感到孤独，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要拥抱，我做你的枕头。

如果你想要快乐，我做你的微笑。如果你想要钱……

等着发工资吧!

As If Awakening From A Dream 如梦初醒

A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal(婚姻的) relation, even cause your wife to leave you… "

A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy."

以戒酒为主题的演讲比赛正在进行，一个演讲者动情地说：“酒精可以破坏夫妻关系，甚至导致妻子离开自己的丈夫……”

这时一个男人大声喊：“再来一瓶白兰地!”

英语笑话20字带翻译

英语笑话20字带翻译一：

A boy goes to the cinema. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out. He buys a second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys a third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out a third time and asks for another ticket. The ticket seller says to him, "Why are you buying all these? Are you meeting friends in the cinema all the time?" "No, I;m not doing that." The small man says, "But a big woman always stops me at the door and tears my tickets up."

英语笑话20字带翻译二：

It was half-past eight in the morning. The telephone rang and Mary went to answer it.'Hello, who's that?' she asked.'It's me--Peter.'Peter was a friend of Mary's eight-year-old brother, Johnny.'Oh, hello, Peter. What do you want?' said Mary.'Can I speak to Johnny?''No,' said Mary, 'you can't speak to him now. He is busy. He is getting ready for school. He is eating his breakfast. Grandmother is combing his hair. Sister is under the table, putting his shoes on. Mother is getting his books and putting them in his school bag. Goodbye, I've got to go now. I have to hold the door open. The school bus is coming.'

英语笑话20字带翻译三：

The preacher was vexed(生气的) because a certain member of his congregation(集合，聚会) always fell asleep during the sermon.As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of hisvoiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(讲道坛), "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."

牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的`人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”