A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.
For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping(披盖) the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.
In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling(凝结)shrieks(尖叫) coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.
What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.
Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?
"Professor, I did the best I could on this test. I really don't think I deserve a zero."
"Neither do I. But that's the lowest grade I'm allowed to give."
学生:“教授先生,我这次考试已经竭尽全力了。我真的觉得我不应该得零蛋。”
老师:“我也是。但是这已经是我能给的最低分了!”
Wait for your salary 你等着发工资吧
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder.
If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money...
wait for your salary.
如果你感到孤独,我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣,我做你的肩膀。如果你想要拥抱,我做你的枕头。
如果你想要快乐,我做你的微笑。如果你想要钱……
等着发工资吧!
As If Awakening From A Dream 如梦初醒
A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal(婚姻的) relation, even cause your wife to leave you… "
A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy."
A boy goes to the cinema. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out. He buys a second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys a third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out a third time and asks for another ticket. The ticket seller says to him, "Why are you buying all these? Are you meeting friends in the cinema all the time?" "No, I;m not doing that." The small man says, "But a big woman always stops me at the door and tears my tickets up."
英语笑话20字带翻译二:
It was half-past eight in the morning. The telephone rang and Mary went to answer it.'Hello, who's that?' she asked.'It's me--Peter.'Peter was a friend of Mary's eight-year-old brother, Johnny.'Oh, hello, Peter. What do you want?' said Mary.'Can I speak to Johnny?''No,' said Mary, 'you can't speak to him now. He is busy. He is getting ready for school. He is eating his breakfast. Grandmother is combing his hair. Sister is under the table, putting his shoes on. Mother is getting his books and putting them in his school bag. Goodbye, I've got to go now. I have to hold the door open. The school bus is coming.'
英语笑话20字带翻译三:
The preacher was vexed(生气的) because a certain member of his congregation(集合,聚会) always fell asleep during the sermon.As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of hisvoiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(讲道坛), "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."