五个英语小笑话

1、爆笑英语小笑话1：Who are stupid？谁蠢？

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid stand up!”

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said “Do you think you’re stupid Johnny?”

“No ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。

小约翰尼站了起来。

“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。

“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”

2、爆笑英语小笑话2：A great man一名伟人

Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?

Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？

学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。

3、爆笑英语小笑话3：Two Cute dogs

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper “Does

your dog bite?”

The shopkeeper says “No my dog does not bite.”

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch” he says “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”

The shopkeeper replies “That is not my dog.”

一个男人走进了一家商店，看到了一个可爱的小狗，于是他问店主：“你的狗咬人吗？”

店主说：“不，我的狗不咬人。”

这个男人就试图抚摸狗，然后狗咬了他。“哎呀”他说：“我还以为你说你的狗不咬人呢！”

店主和他说：“那不是我的狗。”

4、爆笑英语小笑话4：Four gold teeth四颗金牙

6.Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？

男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

5、爆笑英语小笑话5：Barking dogs don’t bite吠狗不咬人

The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

“It’s all right” said a gentleman “don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don’t bite?”

“Ah yes” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?”

一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

英语小笑话5则

1、英语小笑话：Two Pieces of Cake 两块蛋糕

Two Pieces of Cake

Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

两块蛋糕

汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?

妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!

2、英语小笑话：A Girl's Wish 小女孩的愿望

On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.

在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的`路上，幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。班上最小的女孩说，她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿，那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。.

3、英语小笑话：狗也知道这个谚语吗?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”

4、英语小笑话：It's not my fault 不是我的错

It's not my fault

Mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.

Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.

不是我的错

妈妈(正教训她的女儿)：你不该拽猫的尾巴。

女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。

5、英语小笑话：Where's the father? 父亲在哪?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”

“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”

哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。