lee, a seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the christmas dinner. the family members bowed their heads in expectation. lee began his prayer, thanking god for his mommy, daddy, brothers, sister, grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. then he began to thank god for the food.
he gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. after a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "if i thank god for the brussels sprouts, won't he know that i'm lying?"
'Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?' said a boy to a girl.
一个小男孩跟小女孩说:“你有没有觉得班主任有点傻?”
'Well, do you know who I am?' inquired the girl.
小女孩回答到:“啊哈,你知道我是谁吗?”
'No.' replied the boy.
小男孩回答道:“不知道。”
'I'm the head teacher's daughter', replied the girl.
小女孩说:“我就是你口中所说的傻班主任的女儿。”
'And do you know who I am?' asked the boy.
小男孩(面不改色心里惊恐地)问:“那你知道我是谁吗?”
'No,' she uttered.
小女孩说:“不知道。”
'Thank goodness!' said the boy with a sigh of relief.
小男孩大大的`松了口气,说道“真是谢天谢地啊。”
A tourist passing through South Dakota stopped at a blood bank to make a donation. Afterward,he was resting on a cot and saw another donor, who appeared to be a Native American.
The tourist struck up a conversation and asked,”Do you live on the Sioux reservation up the road?"
“没错儿。”那人回答.
"Yes,"the man replied.
“你是百分之百血统的苏族印地安人吗?”
"Are you a full-blooded Sioux?"
“噢,不能完全这么说?. "那人说:“我现在就缺少了一品脱的血.”
"Well,actually,no,"said the man. "Right now I'm a pint low. "
不必再看眼科医生了
It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally,she made an appointment for me.
The day before I was to see the doctor,I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.
在我去见医生的前一天,我的情绪特别好。我对妻于又是亲又是抱,还说她是我眼里最漂亮的女人.
"That does it,”she said.“I'm canceling your appointment."
她说:“这回眼睛没问题了,那我现在就去把号退了。”
After my husband,John,and I moved to Michigan from Nebraska,our new friends,proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads,teased us about the Mid-west's dull,flat,treeless land. When my parents,Nebraska farmers,visited us,I asked them about their trip.
A:Hi!嗨B:Nice to meet you!见到你我很高兴!A:what's this?这个是什么?B:It's a book.这个是书A:How do you spell "this"?你能拼写”这个吗”?B:T-H-I-S.PS:(B误解了A的意思,A叫B拼写”book",B却误解为”你能拼写’这个’吗?”
There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot.There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; andthe third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How e this guy is$5,000? That’s so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Because Ihave trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about thisguy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apartfrom talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on.That’s why he’s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the thirdone? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “Idon’t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, norsing, nothing at all! But the other two call him ‘The Boss.’” 老板最大 有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。店里有三只鹦鹉,其中一只卖五千元,另一只卖一万元,还有一只卖三万元。顾客问老板:「为什么这只要卖五千元?这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了!」老板说:「因为我有训练他讲话。」顾客又问:「那这只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」老板说:「他除了会说话之外,还会表演一些有趣的动作,好比说跳舞等等,所以才卖这么贵。」顾客接着又问:「那第三只呢?他会做什么?为什么要卖这么贵?」老板说:「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌,也没看过他跳舞,什么都没有!不过另外两只叫他:『老板!』」 Where is the egg? Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"? Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday. Teacher:Then where is the “egg"? Student:In the cake,Sir. 鸡蛋在哪里? 老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗? 学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。 老师:“鸡蛋”在哪? 学生:在蛋糕里,先生
Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
英语考试: HOW ARE YOU?这么翻译?答案——怎么是你? HOW OLD ARE YOU?怎么翻译?答案——怎么老是你?试题:如果一位中国学生在美国加州目睹了一起交通事故,警察来了以后问你知不知道事情的经过,应该怎么对他说?一个人回答:one car come one car go,two car peng peng,one car die一个德国人、法国人、及一个日本人要到矿场工作。老板是美国人,他对德国人说:「你体格不错,你负责苦力。」对法国人说:「你说你是工程师,你负责采矿的计划。」而对日本人他说:「你很瘦小。你负责supplies(补给)。」然后隔周,他们开始上工。几天后德国人及法国人发现日本人不见了,找了很久后他们决定还是先回头工作。德国人开始工作的时候,日本人突然跳了出来,大声叫到:「Surprise!」A:I'm sorry!B:I'm sorry,too. A:I'm sorry three. B:What are you sorry for? A:I'm sorry five.