My husband,Michael,a bus driver,was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.
After a minute,Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.
过了足有一分钟,麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖,慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。
He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.
麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass,he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”
趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫,麦克欲关门,老妇人阻止道:“等一会,我妈妈还在后面呢!”
英语幽默小故事2
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
一个女孩去 拜访 她的金发朋友,这个朋友最近养了两只“狗”,于是女孩问道:“它们叫什么名字呀?”
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
金发朋友说,一只叫Rolex,另一只叫Timex。
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?
女孩说:“哪有狗狗叫这个名字的。”
"HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"
“那个……”金发朋友说。“他们是监视器!”
英语幽默小故事5
Too Much Pressure
For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job,but now I found out the real reason:I’m tired because I’m overworked.The population of this country is 237 million.104 million are retired.That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school,which leaves 48 million to do the work.Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government,leaving 19 million to do the work.2.8 million are in the Armed Forces,which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals,leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.Now,there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.That leaves just two people to do the work.You and me.And you’re sitting at the table reading jokes.
学习始于故事。故事是儿童教育的最佳形式之一。能够激发孩子们的好奇心和探究心。我整理了有趣的儿童英语故事,欢迎阅读! 有趣的儿童英语故事:汤姆的票 Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he es out, and buys the second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he es out again and buys the third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he es out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up my ticket.” 汤姆是个小孩, 他才7岁。 当他去电影院的时候。那时他第一次去。他买了张票进去了。 但没过两三分钟他就出来了,然后买了第二张票又进去了。 几分钟后他又出来买了第三张票。 接着两三分钟后他又出来买票。 一个女的问她,“你为什么要买那么多票啊? 你见到了几个朋友?" "没有, 我里面没朋友, 但是每当我进门的时候一位大的女人老把我的票给剪了" 有趣的儿童英语故事:A Silly Man Fred was going to school. When he passed a park, he saw a man sawing a big branch from a tree. The man was on a ladder and the ladder was against the big branch he was sawing. “Hi, it is dangerous.” Fred shouted. “After you cut off the branch, you will fall, too.” But the man didn’t believe him, and said angrily, “Go away, you little thing. It’s none of your business.” Fred could do nothing, so he left. He didn’t go far before he heard something crashed. He rushed back and found the man lying on the ground. Fred asked some men for help. They carried the man to the hospital. 一个愚蠢的人 弗雷德走在上学的路上。路过一个公园时,他看见一个人在锯一棵大树的树枝。“嗨,你这么做很危险的。”费雷得喊道:“你锯了那树枝后,你会摔下来的。”而那个人不相信他,愤怒地说:“快走开,小东西,没有你的事。” 费雷德没趣地离开了。他没有走多远就听见一声响,他急忙跑回去,发现那个人躺在地上。 有趣的儿童英语故事:Are Flies Yummy? Tony and his father are eating dinner. Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?” Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it’s yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It’s a silly question.” But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.” 苍蝇好吃吗? 托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。 突然,托尼问他的爸爸:“爸爸,苍蝇好吃吗?” 爸爸皱眉说:“我想不好吃。你怎么会问这个问题?这可是一个愚蠢的问题。” 可是托尼说:“刚才你盘子里有一只苍蝇。”