英语简单的笑话

笑话从另一个角度反映着人们对于各种现象的态度,笑话是民族幽默的集中体现方式之一。下面是我带来的简短的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!简短的英语小笑话精选 (一) make your own bed Farmer: If you want to spend the night here, you'll have to make your own bed. Traveling salesman: That's perfectly all right. Farmer: Here's a hammer and saw. Good night. (二) 给父亲账单 Send the Bill to My Father Doctor: ″I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.″ Patient: ″then send the bill to my father,please.″ 给父亲账单 医生:“对你的抱怨我无能为力。那是遗传病。” 病人:“那请你把账单给我父亲吧。” 简短的英语小笑话阅读 (一) Excited Remarks Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I’m going to have one of those someday, his dad’s response always was Not as long as I’m alive. One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I’m getting one of those as soon as my dad dies. 激动的话 我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的 爱好 。只要看见一辆摩托车,他就会高兴得哇哇直叫,并激动地说:瞧这辆!瞧这辆,我总有一天也要有一辆。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活着,你就别想有这玩艺儿。 一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话,有一辆摩托车开了过去。他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆!瞧这辆!等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了。 (二) A simple sense Once upon a time, there were two hungry people got a gift: a senior and a basket fresh fishing huge fish. Among them, a person to a basket fish, another a rod, so they parted. Get the in situ fish sticks who build up a fish, and cook bonfires, yet he tasted the fish meat, fish soup, even in he ate, and soon, he starved to death in the empty fish basket. Another person is carrying rod to starve, step by step, hard to the edge, but when he has not seen the blue sea, he was the last bit of strength and make out, he can only with endless regret looking salto earth. And two hunger, they also received a gift elders and a basket fishing rod. But they did not each rush thing, but agreed together to find the sea, they only cook fish, they pass distant journey, came to the sea, and they began a fishing day, after a few years, they built a house, with their families, children, had built a boat, the well-being of life. A person only, get the immediate benefits will be short, One goal, but also to face the reality of life. Only the ideal and the reality, to combine may become a successful man. Sometimes, a simple, but enough to give people a meaningful life. 关于简短的英语小笑话 (一) BlackBerry or iPhone BlackBerry has just unveiled its new model handset, the Bold, in an effort to match the competition of Apple's iPhone. The latter's intuitive touch-sensitive screen has been a big selling point, but critics say the BlackBerry's keyboard makes it more user-friendly, especially for email. Which gadget tops your wishlist? (二) A Half-price Ticket 半价票 "How much is the movie ticket?" “电影票多少钱一张?” "Ten dollars, kid." “10美元，孩子。” "I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I'll see it only with one eye." “我只有5美元。请让我进去吧，我只用一中眼睛看。”

冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。我精心收集了英语短笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

Little boy: Daddy, I want to get married.

小男孩：爸爸，我想结婚。

Father jokingly said: Oh! Who did you have in mind?

爸爸打趣地问道：噢!谁是你心中合适的人选?

Little boy: Grandma.

小男孩：奶奶。

Father: Wait a minute, you did not think I'd let you marry my mother, did you?

爸爸：等一下，你认为我会让你娶我的妈妈?

Little boy: Why not? You married mine.

小男孩：为什么不?你娶了我的妈妈。

As a band instructor at an elementary school, I require my students to turn in practice sheets signed by their parents so I can be sure they are putting in enough time.

作为一个小学的乐队指挥，为了确保学生投入足够的时间练习，我要求他们上交由他们父母签字的练习单。

I had to laugh, however, when one parent wrote on her child's sheet, "Practiced 17 minutes, but it seemed like hours.

可是有一次，一位家长的签字把我逗乐了。练习单上写着：“练习了17分钟，但犹如几个时辰。”

A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. his friend insisted on a demonstration and handed the dog some money - the dog trotted off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.

一位养狗人宣称：要是给了爱犬钱，它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示，并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了，仍不见它带报纸回来。

"how much did you give him?" asked the owner.

一位养狗人宣称：要是给了爱犬钱，它便会到卖报亭买份报纸来。他的朋友坚持要来个演示，并给了狗一些钱。狗一溜小跑着去了。但一个小时过去了，仍不见它带报纸回来。

"five dollars.

“五元。”

"well, that explains it. when you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie.

"这就是了。你给它五元钱时，它就去看电影。

Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.

一个人得了重病，妻子伴随他去看医生。检查过后，医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。

"Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.“

你丈夫病得很重，”医生说，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要营养美味。第二，给他一个轻松的环境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都对他倾注炽热的爱。”

On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"

在驱车回家的路上，丈夫问道：“医生说了什么?”

"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it.“

很遗憾，“你活不成了。”