One night a man came to our house and told me, "There is a family with eight children. They have not eaten for days." I took some food with me and went.
When I finally came to that family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured (破坏外貌) by hunger. There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger.
I gave the rice to the mother. She divided the rice in two, and went out, carrying half the rice. When she came back, I asked her, "Where did you go?" she gave me this simple answer, "To my neighbors — they are hungry also!"
3.头绪分明,脉络清楚
写好记叙文,首先要头绪分明,脉络清楚,明确文章要求写什么。要对所写的事件或人物进行分析,弄清事件发生、发展一直到结束的整个过程,然后再收集选取素材。这些素材都应该跟上述五个“ W ”和一个“ H ”有关。尽管不是每篇记叙文里都必须包括这些“ W ”和“ H ”,但动笔之前,围绕五个“ W ”和“ H ”进行构思是必不可少的。
原文:
One day Xiaoqiang was wandering away. He was soon lost among people and traffic. He could not find the way back home and started crying. Just then, two young students who were passing by found him standing alone in front of a shop and crying. They went up to Xiaoqiang and asked him what had happened. Xiaoqiang told them how he got lost and where he lived. The two students decided to take him home. Mother was pleased to see Xiaoqiang come back safe and sound. She invited the two students into the house and gave them some money, but they didn't take it. She served them with tea but they left.
修改后:
The other day, five-year-old Xiaoqiang left home alone and wandered happily in the street. After some time, he felt hungry so he wanted to go back home. But he found he was lost among the crowded people and heavy traffic. When he could not find the way home, he started and crying. Just then, two young students who were passing by from school found him sanding crying in front of a shop. They immediately went up to him.
"Little boy, why are you standing here crying?" they asked.
"I want Mom, I go home." said the boy, still crying.
"Don't worry, we'll send you home."
And they spent the next two hours looking for the boy's house. With the help of a policeman, they finally found it.
When the worried mother saw her son come back safe and sound, she was so thankful and she invited the students into her house. Gratefully, she offered them some money, saying it was a way to express her thanks, but the young students firmly refused it and left without even a cup of tea.
Li Yue has been awarded the title of “Star Student of the Week”for what she did for our class.
【佳作背诵】
Star Student of the Week
Li Yue has been awarded the title of “Star Student of the Week” for what she did for our class.On the hot afternoon of last Saturday,Li yu went downtown and waiked from one store to another, looking for the costumes we would wear in the singing contest.While the rest of us were enjoying our leisure time in cool and comfortable rooms,she spent the whole afternoon searching and selecting. Finally,she found the right clothes. Deeply moved by her efforts,we tried our best and won the first prize in the contest.
Li yue is always warm-hearted and cares a lot about the class. Besides, she often devotes her spare time to helping others. She deserves the honor and we should learn from her.