英语小说片段搞笑

How can I ever forget the beautiful campus in Africa? The grounds were covered with dark green grass through which stretched a straight white stone path .On both sides of the path were planted what I believed to be poinsettias.Now the flowers were surrounded by pinkish leaves instead of bright red ones as they should have been.Trimmed with light green edges,the leaves looked delicate and charming.Along the long path I often took a stroll which would take me to a wide terrace,where 1 could watch the enchanting glow of sunset,and occasionally catch the sight of a train pulling and hooting on its way southward. On my way hack I would pass by the laboratory and library building whose large French windows had soft curtains let fall to the floor.Just outside the windows kapok flowers glowed red in full bloom.A short way off stood the dining hall,where I found a tree hearing snore-white blossoms so graceful and soft to the touch,Viewed together from the distance,they were as beautiful as a bridal veil.Later I learned that it was a tree called datura which I had so often read about in hooks. 我怎能忘记那美丽的校园呢? 那儿处处是碧绿的芳草,绿草中铺着洁白的、笔直的石路.路两旁种的那些树分明是一品红,然而原该为大红色的排列为环状的叶,却变为柔媚的粉红,还有着淡绿色的边儿.我常在这条长长的石径上散步.走着走着,来到一座宽阔的台子上,站在这里可以看到迷人的晚霞与夕照,偶然也能看到冒着浓烟呜呜南去的列车.件转身往回走,不远便会来到实验室和图书馆.这儿宽大的落地窗软帘垂地,.窗外的木棉树上开着耀眼的红花.再往前走便是餐厅了,那儿有一株美丽的树,开着雪一样白的花儿.那花儿开得轻柔而又炯娜,一朵朵地连成一片,从远处看去,美得像新嫁娘雪白的头纱.后来我才知道这就是我在书上读到那么多次的曼陀罗.

英语幽默笑话小说

Long Life

A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.

Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.

Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, ” he shouted. “here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever.”

“And, ladies and gentlemen,” the man continued, “I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever.”

Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.

One person shouted, “if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?”

Then another person cried , “Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old. ”

“Thank you, sir, thank you,” the man replied, “I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. ”

The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. “Is that true,” he asked, “that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?”

“Don't ask me,” the assistant said, “I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years.”

译：长生不老

一人在集市卖药。起先他卖一美元一瓶的治感冒的药。

很多人想买药，那人的'年轻助手迅速穿行于人群中，一边收钱，一边递药。

然后当围观的人多起来时，那人举起一个小瓶子。

“听着，女士们，先生们，”那人喊道，“这就是你们一直想要的药。

消除衰老的药。只吃一瓶，就会长生不老。”

“女士们，先生们，”那人接着说道，“对这种神奇的药，我不打算卖一瓶100美元。我不打算卖一瓶50美元，我也不打算卖一瓶25美元。我只打算卖一瓶10美元。想想吧，朋友们，只花10美元，你们就能长生不老。”

英语小说傲慢与偏见 简.奥斯丁简·爱夏绿蒂.勃朗特项链欧叶妮.格朗台巴尔扎克死魂灵果戈理变形记卡夫卡变色龙绿野仙踪莱弗兰.鲍姆麦琪的礼物欧.亨利英语小故事Afourth-gradeteacherwasgivingherpupilsalessononlogic."Hereisthesituation,"shesaid."amanisstandingupinaboatinthemiddleofariver,fishing.Heloseshisbalance,fallsin,andbeginssplashingandyellingforhelp.Hiswifehearsthecommotion,knowsthathecan'tswim,andrunsdowntothebank.Whydoyouthinksherantothebank?"Agirlraisedherhandandasked,"todrawoutallofhissavings?" 翻译：小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？”一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”