一位来自日本的旅客,坐出租车去机场的路上,看到一辆汽车经过,就说:“oh,TOyOTA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”又有一辆经过,他又说: “oh,NISSAN!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了!当第三辆经过时,他还是说:“oh,HONDA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”
后来到了机场,那个日本人就问:“How Much?”出租车司机说:“1000!”
日本人惊奇的问司机:“为什么那么贵?”出租车司机回答说:“oh,mileometer(计 程表)!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”
7、英语笑话(七)
传说克林顿和教皇同一天去世,上帝搞错了,把克林顿送上了天堂,而把教皇送入了 地狱。发现错误后上帝马上改了回来,路上二人相遇。 精彩继续教皇:感谢上帝,我终于能见到圣母玛利亚了(Virgin Maria). 克林顿(坏笑中):Sorry,it"s too late.
幼儿 英语 故事 对激发幼儿 学习英语 兴趣,培养幼儿的听、说及交际等诸方面的能力有着不可或缺的作用。我整理了关于1分钟幽默英语小故事,欢迎阅读!关于1分钟幽默英语小故事篇一 A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. 一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。 Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians have despised and reviled me. " 那位犹太人对圣彼得说:“坦白讲,能到这里让我蛮惊讶的,我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。” "That's a great sorrow to us," said St. Peter, "but you won-t find that kind of prejudice here. Here, all are truly equal. Just spell God and you may enter. " “我们实在感到非常遗憾,”圣彼得说,“但我们这里没有那样的偏见,这里每个人都完全平等,只要拼出G。d这个词你就能进入天堂。” Next,the Indian came forward and said,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in a reservation.Will I truly be free here?" 那名犹太人正确地拼出 God后,被招入门内。 接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得,我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击,而且只能住在居留地内,我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?” "My son, your troubles are over. Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. " “小兄弟,你的烦恼已经结束了,只要拼出God这个词,你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。” The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom. 印第安人照着做,不久也被引入天堂。 Next, the black man strode forward. "St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on me and treated me unfairly. That won't happen here, will it?" 接着那名黑人跨步向前,“圣彼得,”他说道,“一辈子人们都瞧不起我,不公平对待我,在这里那些事不会发生吧!” "Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here. Just spell" onomatopoeia "and the Kingdom of Heaven is yours " “当然不会,我的弟兄,我们不会做那样的事,只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词,天堂之国就是你的了!” 关于1分钟幽默英语小故事篇二 The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnant with her ninth. Finally she convinced her husband to get a vasectomy. 一对黑人夫妇已有八个小孩,而鲁拉·梅又怀了第九个小孩,最后她说服了她先生去做男性绝育手术。 On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husband putting on a tuxedo and getting into a limousine for the short ride to the hospital. 手术的早晨,她惊讶地看见她老公穿着礼服,乘坐一辆礼车到不远的医院去。 "Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May. "亲爱的,这是怎么一回事啊?鲁拉·梅问道。" "Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important. "宝贝,如果你想当名大人物的话,就要让人一看就知道你很重要!" 关于1分钟幽默英语小故事篇三 Smith was the manager of a construction',event)">construction company and was taking bids on a new project. The first bidder was a Polish company, and their representative offered to do the job for $ 400,000. "That seems reasonable," said Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown on that?" 史密斯是一家建设公司的经理,他正负责一个新工程的招标案。第一位投标的是一家波兰公司,他们的代表出价四十万元接那个案子。“似乎很合理,”史密斯说。“你可不可以给我一张明细表呢?” "Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. " “当然没问题,”波兰公司代表说道,“廿万元工资,廿万元材科费。” Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction',event)">Construction Company, which bid $ 800,000. 下一个出标的是美国标准建设公司,他们以八十万元竞标。 "Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "What's the breakdown?" “嗯,这个价钱似乎有些偏高,”史密斯说道。“你们有明细表吗?’ " $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. " “四十万元材料,四十万元工资。” "I'll get back to you. " “我以后再同你联系。” Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith's office. 最后可翰·高斯坦·雷伯威兹公司的代表走进史密斯办公室。“一百廿万元是我们竞标的价码,”代表说道。 " $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent."$11 200, 0001 That' s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a brea kdown on that?" “一百廿万元这个标高得太过分了,”史密斯叫道:“你可以给我一张明细表吗?" "No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and $ 400 . 000 for the Polacks. “没有问题,”代表回答道。“四十万元给我,四十万元给你,最后四十万元则给那家波兰佬开的公司。” 看了“关于1分钟幽默英语小故事”的人还看了: 1. 英语小故事1分钟幽默 2. 一分钟幽默英语笑话故事 3. 一分钟英语幽默小故事 4. 英语小故事3分钟幽默 5. 英语小故事1分钟左右 6. 英语新颖小故事1分钟
1.What's the best day to eat fried fish and chips?那一天是最好的日子去吃炸鱼和薯片?Fry-Day (近似"friday")2.What's the best month to eat toast?那一个月是最好的月份去吃土司?Jam-uary(jam意为果酱,而jam-uary又近似january一月,所以答案为一月)3.What do you get if you eat too much dessert?当你吃太多的点心时你会得什么?A stomach-cake(本题答案想表达的是肚子痛,此答案和肚子痛stomach-ache相近)4.Monster school pupil: What are we cooking for lunch today?怪物学院学生:今天的午饭要煮什么?Monster school teacher: Shut up and go to the stove.怪物学院老师:闭嘴并去到撸子里。4. What's worse than finding a slug in your salad?有什麼比找到鼻涕虫塞在你的沙拉?A half slug.半个鼻涕虫。5.“waiter,waiter.There are some worms on my plate".服务员,服务员,我的盘子里有一些虫子!"I didn't see any worms.Those are your sausages.我并没有看到什么虫子,那些是你的香肠。6.Why did the man stare at the carton of orange juice?为什麼男人盯著橙汁纸箱?Because it said 'concentrate'.因为它说:“集中”。 7.Mother: Why are you jumping up and down? Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle. 妈妈:你为什么不停地跳上跳下的? 汤姆:我刚吃完药,可我忘了先摇动瓶子了8.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.' 这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话,千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西,抬东西或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧。”9.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗? 约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。 汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿? 约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。 10.I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?” “一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”