英语直译的笑话

敬业团队，专业答案，仅供参考，欢迎加入，点个采纳，嘻嘻：Oneday,Iwasonthewaytoschool,Isawapieceofdark,soIstopped,Ithink,thisthingisshit,soIuseahandtotouchinhismouth,tasteditandHMMM,isshit,luckily,I'mgladIdidn'ttrample.

一家陕西人在纽约唐人街开了家餐馆，儿子当服务生，老妈管收钱，老爸做大厨。某一天，店里来了个老外，点了个套餐，吃到一半， " 咣当 " ，把汤碗打了。 儿子跑过去看了一下，说： " 碗打了！ " 老外想： " one dollar,... ..." 老妈听见声音，也过来看，见地上有个破碗，问： " 谁打的？ " 老外想： " three dollar?... ..." 儿子说： " 他打的！ " 老外想： " ten dollar?! ... ..." 老妈又说： " 还得打一碗！ " 老外想： " hundred and one?!?! ... ..." 老爸正在厨房切菜，听见外面的声音，赶忙跑出来看怎么回事。忙乱中，忘了把菜刀放下。 五大三粗的老爸，手持菜刀站在餐厅里，老外一看，心跳加速，血压急升，但更让他心碎加崩溃的是老爸的一番话。 老爸对着正在加热炉上舀汤的儿子说： " 烫，少盛点儿！ " 老外： " ten thousand?!!

Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。Best timeTeacher:When is the best time to pick the fruit form the trees?Student:When the watchman is not there.1.Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"2.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.3.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."Endearingterms可爱的称呼Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家,Bernie发现,不管问他老婆什么问题,Morris总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲密的称呼,象蜜糖,我的爱人,亲爱的,甜心等等。Bernie对Morris说,“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的,结婚这么多年了,你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”Morris低下头,小声地对Bernie说,“老实跟你说吧,三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。”我把他吊起来让他晾干Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.When the medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office. "Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because since you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you've regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom,he's dead."Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I hung him up to dry."Jim和Mary都是精神病院里的病人。一天,他们沿着医院的游泳池散步,Jim突然跳入泳池的深水区,他沉到了底部。Mary立刻跳下去救他,她潜到水底,把Jim拉了上来。当院长听闻了Mary的英勇行为后,他立刻翻看了她的病历档案,把她叫进了自己的办公室,“Mary,我有一个好消息和一个坏消息要告诉你。好消息是你能跳入水中救其他病人,这说明你的意识已经恢复了,你可以出院了。坏消息就是,Jim,你救的那个病人,他还是用自己的浴袍带子在浴室上吊自杀了。”Mary说:“他没有自杀,是我把他吊起来好让他晾干。”allybabyOnce two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”A Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。”DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"He WonTommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.他赢了汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。I Have His Ear in My PocketIvan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”A Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。Itworked真的有效Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor, the doctor gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work."Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!""That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"Tom早上老起不来,所以上班总是迟到。他的老板非常生气,警告他如果他不能有所改善的话就炒他的鱿鱼。于是,Tom去看医生,医生给了他一颗药丸并告诉他要在睡觉前服下这颗药。Tom照医生的话做了,睡得非常之好,事实上,他在早上闹钟响之前就起来了。Tom从容不迫地吃完早餐,然后兴高采烈地开车上班去了。“老板”,Tom说,“那药真管用,我的睡眠好极了!”FiveHundredTimes五百遍In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里,一位年轻女士被带到法官面前,她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释,她是一名学校老师,请求法官马上处理她的案子,以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠,说道:“你是学校的老师,对吗?女士,我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下,写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。”Sharing the ApplesHarry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me I’d have given you the large one and had the small one myself.Well, said Harry, that’s what you’ve got, so what are you worrying about?分苹果妈妈给了哈里两个苹果，一个大一点，另一个小点儿。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。所以，哈里就把小个的给了妹妹，自己开始啃那个大个的。哼，妹妹说，如果妈妈给了我，我会把大的给你，把小的留给自己的。对呀，哈里说，你拿到的不就是小的吗？还着什么急呀？FrogThe science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, Now I'll show youthis frog in my pocket. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out achicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said,That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch.青蛙老师正在给学生上生物课：现在，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙。接着，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。老师满脸困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一会儿，说道：真奇怪。我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了。An Ugly WomanMike: My aunt was very embarrassed when she was asked to take off her mask at the party.Mary: Why was that?Mike: She wasn't wearing one.丑女麦克：一次舞会上，当大家要求我姑姑拿掉她的面具时，她非常尴尬。玛丽：为什么会那样呢？麦克：她根本就没有带面具。Nest and HairMy sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom."What kind of bird?" my sister asked."I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child."Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her ."Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "鸟窝与头发我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”I've Just Bitten My Tongue"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother."Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?""Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "我刚咬破自己的舌头“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?A: By treading on his corn?如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？Q: What do people do in a clock factory?A: They make faces all day.一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?A: Keep him awake.怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。He is really somebody-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.-- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.他真是一个大人物-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？-- 墓地守墓人。Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.我的狗不识字布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.-- Well, bring me the winner then.给我那个打赢的吧-- 服务员，这个龙虾只有一只爪。-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.""Why use my elbow and foot?""Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"吝啬鬼请客一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

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Mental retardation Bob: Can doctor, how know that seems the normal person contracts the mental retardation? Dr. : Again easy, you ask a he simple question, if he cannot answer, may judge his mental retardation. Bob: What question? Dr. : Captain Cook round-the-world trip three times, and in one time lost their life, ask that was that one time. Bob: Also has other questions to be possible to ask? I must acknowledge that I am not many to the historical understanding. reports to the police one day of police station to receive a telephone, opposite party sound is urgent. “gentleman! Save a life! A bit faster saves a life!” “young lady, you said slowly that what matter has had?” “had a cat to crawl my family to come!” “a cat crawls should not be the very major problem!” “is not good, is not good! This cat is very dangerous! The cat is very dangerous!” “young lady, do not fear, cat really not dangerous ......” “gentleman, your is here a police station? Is police station's words, I telephone to call you, you to come to rescue me! A bit faster! The cat had already come, is very dangerous!” “young lady, who are you?” “I am the parrot! I am the parrot!” road middle hedgehog the two hedgehogs arrive at among the street, they planned that passes through the zebra crossing. a hedgehog said: Don't from this. another hedgehog said: Why can't? the first hedgehog said: Had a look at that zebra to encounter you to understand. polar bear family a small polar bear runs asks mother. small polar bear: Mother, you determined that I am the polar bear, is not the collar ktranslitk or the brown bear? Aunt Xiong: To, the son, you are the polar bear truly. the small polar bear runs asks daddy. small polar bear: Daddy, you determined that I am the polar bear, is not the collar ktranslitk or the brown bear? bear daddy: To, the boy, you are the polar bear truly. the small polar bear runs asks Grandpa Xiong. small polar bear: Grandfather, you determined that I am the polar bear, is not the collar ktranslitk or the brown bear? Grandpa Xiong: To, the child, you are the polar bear truly. Why can ask like this? small polar bear: Because I am cold.

intellectual deficiency Bob: Doctor, how to tell a guy has intellectual deficiency who seems normal? Doctor: It's simple. You can ask him a simple question. He must be have intellectual deficiency if he cannot answer. Bob: what's the question? Doctor: Captain Hook had travled world 3 times and he died in one time, which time? Bob: Excuse me? Do you have any other questions? I have to admit that I don't familar with the history call the police one day the police station receives a telephone call and the voice of the other party is very urgent. "Sir!Help!Quickly Help!" "Young lady, please slow down,what happened?" "A cat is climb into my house!" "A cat climbing into your house should not be a very big problem!" "No.no!The cat is very dangerous!really very dangerous!" "Young lady, don't fear, the cat isn't really dangerous ……" "Sir, are you a police or not?if you are,when I make this phone call to you, you should come and save me!Hurry!The cat has been already come in, very dangerous!" "Young lady, who are you exactly?" "I am a parrot!I am a parrot!" hedgehogs in the middle of the roadtwo hedgehogs come to the middle of the road and decide to come across the zebra crossing. 1 hedgehog says:Don't corss the road fromhere.Another hedgehog asks:Why not? the first one says:didn't you see how the zebra suffers. Polar bear family A small polar bear goes to ask hismother. Small polar bear: Mom, are you sure that i am a polar bear, but not a brown bear or koala? mother Bear: Yes, son, you are really a polar bear. the small polar bear also goes to ask his father. Small polar bear: Dad, are you sure I am a polar bear,not a brown bear or koala ? Daddy Bear: Yes, kid, you are really a polar bear. the small polar bear goes to ask his grandfather. Small polar bear: Grandpa, are you sure I am a polar bear, but not a brown bear or koala ? Grandpa Bear: Yes, child, you are really a polar bear. Why asking this question? Small polar bear: because i feel cold.

intellectual deficiency Bob: Doctor, how to tell a guy has intellectual deficiency who seems normal? Doctor: It's very easy. You can ask him a question. He must be have intellectual deficiency if he can't answer. Bob: what's the question? Doctor: Captain Hook had travled world 3 times and he died in one time, which time? Bob: Excuse me? Do you have another questions? I have to admit that I don't familar with the historyAsking for helpOne day a police station get a call from a very nerves girl."Sir! Help！ Help!""Miss, please calm down, what's wrong?""There is a cat coming in my room"oh, I think it's not a big deal for a cat's coming""No, no this cat is very dengerous, the cat is dengerous""Miss, the cat is really not dengerous""Sir, are you police station? Please come to help me after I called you if you are a police. The cat is here now. It's dengerous""Miss, Who heil are you?""I'm a parrot, I'm a parrot"the hedgehogs on the roadtwo hedgehog came to the road and they want to cross the road on the zebra crossingone of the hedgehog said:"Don't do this!"another one asked:"Why not?"first one said:"You will know after you see the accedent that happened to the zebra"the polar bear familyA little polar bear asked his mom a questionlittle polar bear: "Mom, are you sure I am a polar bear? not a cola or a brown bear"Momy:"Yes you are, my boy."and the little polar bear went to ask his dadylittle polar bear:"Dady, are you sure I am a polar bear? not a cola or a brown bear"Dady: "Yes you are, boy"Latter the little polar bear went to ask his grandpa.little polar bear:"Grandpa, are you sure I am a polar bear? not a cola or a brown bear"grandpa: "Yes you are, boy, why you ask like this?"little polar bear:"because I feel cold"

有一天，俺商店里来了个外国人买西餐料。他选好一样东西，俺就在计算器上摁出价钱给他看。当然俺有点不好意思了，而且俺还会句英语。于是 ，俺就对他说： “I am sorry”。 “I am sorry， too” 外国人回答。 “I am sorry three” 我道。 “What are you sorry for?” 外国人问。 “I am sorry five” 我说……男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？） 女：Actually I''d rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。）经典对话二：this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？） 女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）经典对话五： 男：Haven''t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？） 女：Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）经典对话六： 男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？） 女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？） 女：Why? Don''t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）经典对话三： 男：I''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。） 女：I''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）经典对话四：经典对话七： 男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。） 女：Why? Are you leaving?（是吗？你是说你要离开？）1. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS: George! 2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, "I am."ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."3. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? CLASS: Big hands! 4. TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave? STUDENT: Yes, Sir. TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't? STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours. 5. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake. SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.1．Do You Know My Work？One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”“You don't know my work，” said the other．“What is your work？”“I'm a policeman．“Oh！” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“No，”said the policeman．“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”译文：（自己简单翻译）你知道我是干什么的吗？一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。两个人站在外面，看着大火。“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。“你是干什么的？”“我是警察。”“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”

SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice. (场景) 椭圆形办公室, 乔治布什 和国家安全顾问康多里扎赖斯 George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening? 布什: 康迪(赖斯)! 很高兴见到你,发生什么事情了? Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China. 赖斯:长官,我来向你汇报中国的新领导人 George: Great. Let’s hear it. 布什: 好极了,我们一起来听听! Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. 赖斯:胡(谁)是中国的新领导人 George: That’s what I want to know. 布什:这就是我要知道的 Condi: That’s what I’m telling you. 赖斯:这就是我要告诉你的 George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China? 布什:这就是我要问你的,谁(胡)是中国的新领导人? Condi: Yes. 赖斯:是的 George: I mean the fellow’s name. 布什:我是说那个人的名字 Condi: Hu. 赖斯:胡(谁) George: The guy in China. 布什: 那个在中国的人 Condi: Hu. 赖斯:胡(谁) George: The new leader of China. 布什:中国的新领导人! Condi: Hu. 赖斯:胡(谁) George: The Chinese! 布什:那个中国人! Condi: Hu is leading China. 赖斯:胡(谁)领导中国 George: Now whaddya’ asking me for? 布什:啊?现在是你问我了? Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China. 赖斯: 我在告诉你, 胡(谁)在领导中国 George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China? 布什:我在问你,谁(胡)在领导中国? Condi: That’s the man’s name. 赖斯:就是那人的名字 George: That’s whose name? 布什:就是谁(胡)的名字? Condi: Yes. 赖斯:是的 George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? 布什:你到底愿不愿意告诉我谁(胡)是中国的领导人? Condi: Yes sir. 赖斯:是的,长官（亚瑟尔） George: Yassir? You mean Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. 布什：亚瑟尔？你是说阿拉法特在中国？我以为他在中东呢 Condi: That’s correct. 赖斯：没错 George: Then who is in China? 布什：那么谁（胡）在中国？ Condi: Yes, sir. 赖斯：是的长官（亚瑟尔） George: Yassir is in China? 布什：亚瑟尔在中国？？ Condi: No, sir. 赖斯：不，长官 George: Then who is? 布什：那么谁（胡）在？ Condi: Yes, sir. 赖斯：是的长官（亚瑟尔） George: Yassir? 布什：亚瑟尔？ Condi: No, sir 赖斯：不，长官. George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get m e the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet he knows. 布什：听着，赖斯．我要知道中国新领导人的名字，给我接联合国秘书长．我 觉得他会知道 Condi: Kofi? 赖斯：科费（咖啡）？ George: No, thanks. 布什：不，谢谢 Condi: You want Kofi? 赖斯：你要科费（咖啡）？ George: No. 布什：不！！ Condi: You don’t want Kofi. 赖斯：那么你不要科费（咖啡） George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. 布什：不，但是既然你提到它，我要杯牛奶就可以了，然后给我接联合国 Condi: Yes, sir. 赖斯：是的长官（亚瑟尔） George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. 布什：不是亚瑟尔！是联合国的头！ Condi: Kofi? 赖斯：科费（咖啡）？ George: No, milk! Will you please make the call? 布什：不，牛奶！你给我接通电话好不？ Condi: Call who? 赖斯：给谁打？ George: Who is the guy at the U.N? 布什：谁（胡）是联合国的头？ Condi: Hu is the guy in China. 赖斯：胡（谁）是中国的头 George: Will you stay out of China?! 布什：你能不能不提中国了？！ Condi: Yes, sir. 赖斯：是的长官（亚瑟尔） George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N! 布什：也别提中东了！给我接通联合国的头就好了！ Condi: Kofi? 赖斯：科费（咖啡）？ George: All right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone. 布什：好啦好啦！那就少加点糖吧！给我接电话 (Condi picks up the phone.) （赖斯拿起电话） Condi: Rice here 赖斯：赖斯在这（这有米饭） George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too 布什：米饭?好主意。在来两个蛋卷。