英语幽默故事精选

英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。

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英语幽默小故事1

Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground

An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.

Why not?

If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up  already.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

别捡地上的钱

一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。

“为什么不捡?”

“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。”

“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”

英语幽默小故事2

The Less You Know, the More Money You Make

Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.

Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have

Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.

知识越少挣钱越多

定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。

下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：

假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。

假设二：时间就是金钱。

每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。

因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。

结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。

英语幽默小故事3

They Should Be Playing at Night

A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to  some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over  to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for  their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about  the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on  me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."

他们本该在晚上打球

神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”

英语幽默小故事4

A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.

一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”

英语幽默小故事5

Even My Driver Can Answer that Question

A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on  the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.

The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."

甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题

一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。

司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。”

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英语故事教学不仅能有效地学习英语知识,亦能有效地培养学生的思维能力。我精心收集了搞笑幽默英语故事，供大家欣赏学习! 搞笑幽默英语故事篇1 A drunk 醉汉 A police officer pulls over a guy who has been weaving in and out of the lanes. 有一位警官把一个在车道上穿进穿出，迂回蛇行的男子拦到路边。 He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir,I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." 他走到这名男子的车窗旁边说：“先生，我要你对着这个酒精测试管吹一口气。” The man says,"Sorry officer I can't do that.I am an asthmatic.If I do that I'll have a really badasthma attack." 这名男子说：“对不起呀，警官，我不能吹呀。我是个气喘病患者呀。如果我吹的话，我就会真的患很严重的气喘病。” "Ok,fine.I need you to e down to the station to give a blood sample." “ 好， 好。我要你到警察局进行血液检验。” "I can't do that either.I am a hemophiliac.If I do that,I'll bleed to death." “我也能抽血检验呀。我是个血友病患呀。如果我抽血检验，我就会流血过多而死呀。” "Well ,then we need a urine sample." “嗯，那我们就要你进行尿液检验吧。” "I am sorry officer I can't do that either.I am also a diabetic.If I do that I'll get really low bloodsugar." “对不起呀 ，警官，我也不能验尿呀。我也是一个糖尿病患者呀。如果我验尿的话，我的血糖就真的会变得很低。” "Alright then I need you to e out here and walk this white line." “好吧，那我要你出来到这边，走这条白线。” "I can't do that,officer." “警官，我办不到呀。” "Why not? " “为什么办不到?” "Because I am too drunk to do that." “因为我喝得太醉了，所以不能那么做呀。” 搞笑幽默英语故事篇2 Idiot Teacher *** 老师 If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher . 喜爱挖苦人的老师说：“如果在这间教室里面有 *** ，就请站起来好吗?”。 After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet, 沉默了很久之后，有一名新生就站起来了。 "Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer. 老师就以讥笑的口气问他：“喂， 先生，你为什么认为你自己是个 *** 呀?” "Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all byyourself." 这名学生说：“ 唉呀，实际上我才不认为我是个 *** 呢，而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。” 搞笑幽默英语故事篇3 Silly Doctor 蠢医生 A man went to see his doctor 有一名男子去看他的医生， because he was suffering from a miserable cold. 因为他正遭到令人难受的感冒之苦。 His doctor prescribed some pills, 他的医生开了一些药丸 ， but they didn't help. 但是这些药丸都没什么帮助。 On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, 他笫二次去的时候，医生给他打针， but that didn't do any good. 但是那也没什么效。 On his third visit the doctor told the man, 他第三次去的时候 ，医生告诉这名男子： "Go home and take a hot bath.As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft." “回家洗个热水澡吧。你一洗完澡就把所有韵窗户都开启，然后站在通风处。” "But doc,"protested the patient, 这名病人 *** 说：“但是医生， "if I do that,I'll get pneumonia." 如果我那么做的话，我就会得到肺炎呀。” "I know,"said the doctor,"don't worry,I can cure pneumonia." 医生说：“我知道啦，别担心啦，我会治疗肺炎啦。”