A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.
Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.
There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to take&n......。
A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."
A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
“把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。”小女孩回答道。
英语笑话五:脑移植 A Brain Transplant
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车,司机看到后说:“额,那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。但是它却一直被学界视为不登大雅之堂的小众,研究工作相对薄弱。我整理了较短的幽默 英语笑话 ,欢迎阅读!较短的幽默英语笑话:Rope or Ox? 绳子还是公牛? The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: "I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home." "But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home!" "I told you I had bad luck, didn't I?" the man sighed, "The trouble is that I didn't notice there was an ox at the other end of that rope." 在监狱里,一个人问新来的犯人为什么被关进来。新来的犯人回答说:“我想我真是倒霉。几天前我在街上走的时候,看到一根脏绳子,以为没人要了,便捡起来带了回家。” “但是,捡一根绳子带回家并不犯法啊!” “我告诉过你我倒霉了吧?”那个人叹了口气,“麻烦的就是我没有注意到绳子的那一头还有一头公牛。” 较短的幽默英语笑话:Senior Class 年长者阶层 During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return. When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Can you imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!" 年长者阶层 医生按期来探视我的老母。我告诉他母亲不几天就要庆祝她98岁的生日了。医生听了也很高兴,为此,他弯下腰来亲了她一下。然后他说不几天他也要庆祝自己的生日,并要求她还他一个吻。 医生走后,我母亲厌恶地摇摇头。“你能想象吗,”她说,“付了他70元,我还得亲他!” 较短的幽默英语笑话:Letter of Recommendation 推荐信 When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. "Since I've been with the firm for so long," he said, "I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation." The human resources director agreed and said he'd have the letter the next day. The following morning, Peters found a letter on his desk. It read, "Jonathan Peters worked for our company for 11 years.When he left us, we were very satisfied." 彼得斯听说自己被解雇了,便去见人力资源部的头头。“既然我在公司干了这么久,”他说,“我想至少该给我一封推荐信。” 人力资源部主任同意了,并说他第二天就可拿到该信。第二天早上,彼得斯在他的桌子上看一封信,上面写道:“乔纳森·彼得斯在我们公司干了11年。当他离去的时候,我们很满意。” 较短的幽默英语笑话: Excel lent Skills 绝妙的技巧 After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd. In an instant, a skycap was at his side. Sir, observed the porter, you certainly have excellent communication skills. 绝妙的技巧 我的朋友们在繁忙的纽瓦克机场着陆后,他们却不能招呼到脚夫来帮他们搬行李。无奈,丈夫拿出一张五美元的钞票在人群上面摇晃。 一个带宽边帽的人马上来到他身边。“先生,”脚夫说道,“很明显你有绝妙的交际技巧。” 较短的幽默英语笑话:I'd rather buy a gift 我宁愿买一件礼物 While on a trip, Mom realized that she had forgotten a present for Dad's birthday. "That's okay," he said, "The only thing I want is for you to love, honor and obey." Mom pondered that idea and then replied "I'd rather buy you a gift." 我宁愿买一件礼物 旅途中,妈妈想起她忘记给爸爸买一件生日礼物。“没关系”,他说,“我最想要的东西是你的爱、忠贞和温顺”。妈妈沉思片刻后回答说,“我宁愿给你买一件礼物”。