One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"
一天,他正在窗口观望,夜幕降临。他突然喊道:“妈妈,妈妈,快来关窗!”
"Why? It's not cold, sonny."
“为什么?天不冷呀,宝贝。”
"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."
“是的,妈妈,可黑夜会进来。”
快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
一位女士打开冰箱门,发现一只兔子坐在其中的一层隔板上,就问它:“你在那里做什么?”
The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"
兔子回答:“这是Westinghouse对不对?”(Westinghouse,西屋电气公司)
The lady confirmed, "Yes."
女士确认道:“没错。”
"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."
兔子说:“那就对了,我就是要往西边去。”
Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?
兔子:你确信这瓶特制胡萝卜汁能治好我的病?
Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
医生:当然咯,凡是喝过的兔子没有一只来要第二瓶的。
Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from?
兔宝宝:妈咪,我是从哪儿来的呢?
Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older.
兔妈妈:等你长大点再告诉你。
Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now.
兔宝宝:噢妈咪,现在就告诉我吧,求您了。
Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat.
兔妈妈:如果你一定要知道,那我告诉你你是从魔术师的帽子里被拽出来的。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
钱不用找了
Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.
I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.
-Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you don't believe me please pick up the calendar.
-Oh!it is really April fools'day.
-Haha!you were cheated!
-今天是星期几?
-今天是四月愚人节。
-哦!你错了,今天是三月三十一日。如果你不相信我,请拿起日历。
-哦!这真的是四月愚人节。
-哈哈!你被骗了!
2、Best wishes and I believe your English will be better and better!
最好的祝愿,我相信你的英语会越来越好!
3、A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok,mommy." and goes to sleep. the next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn''t come true!". The mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
4、Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.
Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily.
妻子对丈夫(整天看报纸)说:我希望我是一份报纸,所以我整天都在你手里。
丈夫:我也希望如此,这样我就可以每天换你了。
5、A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!
一个小男孩问他的父亲:爸爸,结婚要花多少钱?父亲回答说:我不知道儿子。我还在付钱!
6、At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?
The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life!