愚人节的笑话英语

愚人节笑话英语

笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。以下是我整理的愚人节笑话英语，仅供参考，大家一起来看看吧。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket愚人节笑话英语笑话版送给爱笑的你。

年少无知

Jimmy is three years old.

吉米3岁了。

One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"

一天，他正在窗口观望，夜幕降临。他突然喊道：“妈妈，妈妈，快来关窗!”

"Why? It's not cold, sonny."

“为什么?天不冷呀，宝贝。”

"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."

“是的，妈妈，可黑夜会进来。”

快速靠岸

A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday." A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish." After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"

在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。 他没带手机，不过，他想，也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。 于是，他爬到他的船里面，启动了无线装置，喊道，“求救，求救”。一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应，“报告你的位置”。“I-75号公路，Standish的南面两英里”。沉默了好一会之后，警官问我的朋友，“你的船靠岸时开得有多快?”

冰箱里的'小兔子

A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.

一位女士打开冰箱门，发现一只兔子坐在其中的一层隔板上，就问它：“你在那里做什么?”

The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"

兔子回答：“这是Westinghouse对不对?”(Westinghouse，西屋电气公司)

The lady confirmed, "Yes."

女士确认道：“没错。”

"Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."

兔子说：“那就对了，我就是要往西边去。”

Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?

兔子：你确信这瓶特制胡萝卜汁能治好我的病?

Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.

医生：当然咯，凡是喝过的兔子没有一只来要第二瓶的。

Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from?

兔宝宝：妈咪，我是从哪儿来的呢?

Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older.

兔妈妈：等你长大点再告诉你。

Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now.

兔宝宝：噢妈咪，现在就告诉我吧，求您了。

Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat.

兔妈妈：如果你一定要知道，那我告诉你你是从魔术师的帽子里被拽出来的。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事?”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

钱不用找了

Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.

在教堂的义卖市上卖旧书时，我与一名准备买东西的顾客发生了一场争论。他对购买袖珍奥金.纳什集颇感兴趣，但是说它要三十五美分开价过高。其它的平装书每本才卖十或十五美分。

I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.

我指出这本书保存状况颇好，纳什是个有趣的诗人，这个要价是合理的。他说这是个原则问题。最终，我同意以十五美分的价格将这本书卖给他。他得意洋洋，拿出一张十美元的票子付帐。“零钱不用找了。”他说。

1、-What the day is it today?

-Today is April fools'day.

-Oh!you are wrong today is March the 31th.If you don't believe me please pick up the calendar.

-Oh!it is really April fools'day.

-Haha!you were cheated!

-今天是星期几？

-今天是四月愚人节。

-哦！你错了，今天是三月三十一日。如果你不相信我，请拿起日历。

-哦！这真的是四月愚人节。

-哈哈！你被骗了！

2、Best wishes and I believe your English will be better and better!

最好的祝愿，我相信你的英语会越来越好！

3、A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok,mommy." and goes to sleep. the next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn''t come true!". The mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

一个双目失明的小男孩正被妈妈抱上床。妈妈说：“现在，比利，今晚和明天都要好好祈祷，你的愿望会实现的！”比利说：“好的，妈妈，”然后去睡觉。第二天早上，比利醒来尖叫着：“妈咪！”！我还是瞎了眼，我的愿望没有实现！妈妈回答说：“我知道——四月傻瓜！”

4、Wife talking to her husband (who reads newspaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.

Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily.

妻子对丈夫（整天看报纸）说：我希望我是一份报纸，所以我整天都在你手里。

丈夫：我也希望如此，这样我就可以每天换你了。

5、A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!!

一个小男孩问他的父亲：爸爸，结婚要花多少钱？父亲回答说：我不知道儿子。我还在付钱！

6、At midnight father saw that his married son leaving home... He asks him: what are you doing?

The son replied: Dad I am fed up with my life! My newly marriage is not going well, my wife and my mom keep fighting with each other! I have to pay bills for my in-laws, and I hate this life!!! I want to go far from here, I want to taste every joy of life, and I want to have every fun of life！

Father said: Wait！I am coming with you.

半夜，父亲看到他已婚的儿子离家出走了…他问他：你在干什么？

儿子回答：爸爸，我受够了我的生活！我的新婚生活不太顺利，我妻子和我妈妈一直在打架！我得为我的亲家付账，我讨厌这种生活！我想远离这里，我想品味生活中的每一种乐趣，我想享受生活的乐趣！

父亲说：等等！我和你一起去。

7、A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answered: Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?

The husband laughed and said: An English girl!!!

The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picked her up in the airport and asked: So honey, how was the trip?

The wife: Very good, thank you.

The husband: And, what happened to my present?

The wife: Which present?

The husband: What I asked for: the English girl?

The wife: Oh, that! Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait a few months to see if it’s a girl！

一个女人去英国参加一个为期两周的公司培训会议。她丈夫开车送她去机场，祝她旅途愉快。

妻子回答：谢谢你，亲爱的，你要我给你拿什么？

丈夫笑着说：一个英国女孩！！！

那女人默不作声地离开了。两个星期后，他在机场接她，问道：亲爱的，旅途怎么样？

妻子：很好，谢谢。

丈夫：我的礼物怎么了？

妻子：哪一件礼物？

丈夫：我要的是那个英国女孩？

妻子：哦，那！好吧，我尽力了，现在我们得等几个月看看是不是女孩！

1、Why are people tired on April Fool's Day?

(愚人节人们为什么疲倦？)

答：Because they have just had a long March.

( 因为他们刚过了长长的三月。March 三月、行军)

2、What weather do mice and rats fear?

(老鼠害怕什么天气？)

答：When it's raining cats and dogs.

(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )

3、When do dogs refuse to follow their masters?

(狗什么时候不愿跟随主人？)

答：When their masters go to the flea market.

(主人去跳蚤市场时。Flea 跳蚤 flea market 旧货市场 )

4、What question can never be answered by “yes”?

(哪个问题永远不能回答“是的”？)

答：Are you asleep?

(你睡着了吗？)

5、What tree is always very sad?

(哪种树总是很伤心？)

答：Weeping willow.

( 垂柳。weep哭泣 willow柳树)

6、When can you get water with a net?

(什么时候可以用网兜装水？)

答：When water is turned into ice.

(当水结成冰时。)

7、Why is the pig always eating?

（猪为什么没完没了地吃？）

答：He's making a hog of himself.

（它想成为一只肉猪。）

8、What's the longest word in the world?

（世界上最长的单词是什么？）

答：Smiles. Because there's a mile between the letter 's'.

（微笑。因为两个字母S中间隔了一里。）

9、What question is that to which you must always answer "yes"?

（什么问题你只能回答“yes”？）

答："What does y-e-s spell?"

（ (当别人问你)“yes”怎么拼？）

10、Where were you when the power was cut off?

（当停电的时候你在哪？）

答：In the darkness.

（在黑暗中。）

1. why are people tired on april fool's day? (愚人节人们为什么疲倦?)

答：because they have just had a long march. ( 因为他们刚过了长长的三月。march 三月;行军)

2.what weather do mice and rats fear? (老鼠害怕什么天气?)

答：when it's raining cats and dogs.(下大雨。rain cats and dogs 下大雨 )

3.when do dogs refuse to follow their masters? (狗什么时候不愿跟随主人?)

答：when their masters go to the flea market.(主人去跳蚤市场时。flea 跳蚤 flea market 旧货市场 )

4.what question can never be answered by “yes”? (哪个问题永远不能回答“是的”?)

答：are you asleep? (你睡着了吗)

5.what tree is always very sad? (那种树总是很伤心?)

答：weeping willow. ( 垂柳 weep哭泣 willow柳树)

6.when can you get water with a net? (什么时候可以用网兜装水?) 答：when water is turned into ice. (当水结成冰时)

7.why is the pig always eating?猪为什么没完没了地吃?

答：he's making a hog of himself.它想成为一只肉猪。

8.what's the longest word in the world?世界上最长的单词是什么? 答：smiles. because there's a mile between the letter 's'.微笑。因为两个字母s中间隔了一里。

9.what question is that to which you must always answer "yes"? 什么问题你只能回答“yes”?

答："what does y-e-s spell?" (当别人问你)“yes”怎么拼?

10.where were you when the power was cut off? 当停电的时候你在哪? 答：in the darkness. 在黑暗中