The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient,"For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist,or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price."Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied,"No,it’s not better,just unused."
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate,a plump,middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind,lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back.Her momentum carried her close to my shoes.Before I could help her,however,she had scrambled up.Gaining her composure,she winked at me and said,"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.At the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more,uttering."Trust me,Sir,and trust the money.They are real US dollars.They are directly from America."
An elderly lawyer was about to die. One day he told his wife he had come up with a way to take all of the money he had with him to heaven.
一个老律师就要死了。一天他告诉他妻子,他想到了一个办法可以把他所有的钱带去天堂。
He told his wife to put all of his money in the attic so when he died he could grab it on the way up.
他告诉妻子,把他所有的钱都放到阁楼,那样他去天堂的`路上就可以顺便带走。
A couple of weeks after he died his wife was cleaning out the attic and saw that the money bags were still there.
他死后两三个星期,他的妻子打扫阁楼发现钱袋子还在那里。
"That old fool," she chuckled. "I told him that we should have put the money in the basement!"
“这个老傻瓜,”她窃笑着说。“早就告诉他,应该把钱放到地下室才对!”
二、
Last weekend, Xiao Li gave Xiao Bai a phone call to invite her out to eat dinner. Because Xiao Bai loves Xiao Li, she was very happy. They went to Xiao Bai's favorite restaurant. When they arrived, they got a table and ordered some food. Although Xiao Bai really likes cabbage, she isn't a vegetarian. Xiao Bai ordered a plate of Homestyle Tofu, as well as two plates of beef. Xiao Li ordered two bowls of rice and one bowl of spicy-sour soup. The server brought the food very quickly.
After they finished eating, Xiao Li wanted to pay the bill, but had a large problem. He forgot to bring money! Right now he does not even have one yuan. Xiao Li is very embarrassed. He let Xiao Bai pay. Right now Xiao Bai does not love Xiao Li.