Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
两个苏格兰修女刚刚坐船来到美国,其中一个修女对另外一个说,“我听说这个国家的人们是吃狗肉的。”
"Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
“真奇怪”,她的同伴回答道,“不过如果我们也生活在美国,我们可能会做一样的事情啊。”
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it.
这位年长修女认真地点了点头,指向了一个热狗摊,她们俩一同走了过去。
"Two dogs, please," said one.
“两只狗,谢谢。”一位说。
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs.'
摊贩主很开心,他把两个热狗都包了起来。两位修女飞快地到一个长凳上坐下,打开了她们的“狗”。
The mother superior was first to open hers, then, stared at it for a moment, leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.
一个人带着他的狗去了酒吧,他径直走向吧台,要了一杯酒。
The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog."
招待说:“你不能带狗进来!”这个人毫不犹豫地说,“这是我的导盲犬”
"Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
“天呐,”招待说,“抱歉了,第一杯算我的。”这个人喝了他的酒,去门边的桌子那坐下了。
Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog."
The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"
第二个人谢过了第一个人,走向吧台。他要一杯饮料。招待说:“嗨,你不能把那只狗带进来!”
The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."
第二个人回答道“这是我的导盲犬。”招待说,“不,我不这么认为。从来没有吉娃娃做导盲犬的。”
The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
这个人停顿了一会,回答道“什么?!他们给了我一只吉娃娃?!”
I teach middle-school choir and occasionally have my own children in class. One day my son asked if he could have a pencil. As a teacher,I normally do not lend items to unprepared students;but as a mother,I help my children whenever I can. I asked my son whether he was speaking to his teacher or his mother. He replied,“It degends on who has the pencil."
King Pandion of Athens had two daughters,Procne and Philomela.When Athens wasthreatened by the wild men,King Tereus of Thrace came to its help.Out of gratitude KingPandion offered Tereus either of his daughters in marriage and the Thracian king chose Procneas wife. For yearsthey lived in Thrace and had one son,Itylus by name.Then Procne becamehomesick and longed to see her dear sister Philomela.At her repeated requests Tereus sailedto Athens tofetch Philomela.On the way back his evil heart took flame at the sight of Philomelawho was then in her beauty of maidenhood.He seized and carried her away by force,cut outher tongue and imprisoned her in a lonely hut in the woods.To Procne he lied,saying thatPhilomela was dead.Philomela stayed in prison for ayear,where she had woven her painfulstory into the web of a robe .Then she managed to send the robe to her sister. As soon asshe received the web Procne came over to the woods and to reher sister away from thekeepers.
Back at the palace, the two women,hot for paying back ,killed little Itylus and served him upto his father . When Tereus learned of the terrible truth he grasped his sword and chased thesisters into the woods. There the gods turned Procne into a swallow,Philomela a nightingaleand Tereus a hoopoe .
Ajax was a man of giant stature,daring but slow.When the Trojan War was about to breakout he led his forces from Salamis to join the GREek army at Aulis.As one of the trustiestchampions of the Greek cause,he was given thejob of guarding one end of the Greek campnear Troy.He was noted in the battlefield for his bravery and courage.After Achilles' death hebecame one of the two hot contestants for the dead hero's shield and armour,the other beingOdysseus.When the weapons were finally judged to his rival,Ajax went mad forgrief.Unable to get over the hardships,he took his own life.When,in order to seek theadvice of,Odysseus came to visit the lower world,the shade of Ajax frowned uponhim.In thelower world Ajax chose to be a lion,guided clearly by the bitter recollection of his former life.
Dionysus was the god of wine.He was the son of Zeus by Semele. When his mother wasburnt to death in the glory of Zeus .He was still a helpless infant.His father trusted hisupbringing to some mountain fairy maidens .They tookthe GREatest care of him. Under thetutorship of Silennus,the Satyr, he was introduced to all the secrets of nature and the cultureof the wine. He travelled far and wide in his carriage drawn by wild beasts. He was said tohave been to India and Ethiopia .Wherever he went, there was music and song andrevelling.Hisattendants,known as the Bacchantes, were noted for their noiseanddisorder.A most wild,noisy crow,they drank,danced andsang in a careless way.Thewomen Bacchantes were infamous for their excessive immodesty and disgraceful excitement.In their madness and intoxication they committed cruel violence. They tore Orpheus,thegifted musician,limb from limb.King Pentheus of Thebes,for frowning on the worship ofBacchus in his kingdom, suffered the same treatment at the hands of a band of thesefanatical women,of whom his own mother was the leader.