英语话剧剧本短篇

逃课Scene I(Anita, Kevin, Ken, Jason, Steven, and Rita are all Tunghai University students. They are good friends. One day, Ken and Jason meet on the way to the classroom.)Ken: Why are you late? And, you just missed the last class. The teacher gave us the main topics for the mid-term examination.Jason: Oh, shoot! I just missed it. Would you lend me your notes so I can make a copy?Ken: Sure if you give me a good reason why you missed the class. You promised me that you would be in class on time today.Jason: Believe me, I would like to keep my word. The problem is that I have the “Business Management” test today and I was up studying for it till three o’clock this morning. Then I fell asleep and woke up at ten o’clock this morning.Ken: You studied until three o’clock this morning? Why? What did you do yesterday afternoon? I know you were free from four o’clock on yesterday.Jason: Well, I met one of my very old friends on line and we just talked too long…Ken: For God’s sake! Don’t you care about next week’s mid-term examination?——————————————————————————–Scene II(Anita, Steven and Kevin are talking to one another in front of a classroom. And, Anita is trying to prevent Steven and Kevin from cutting the next class.)Anita: Hey, we’ll have the “Business Management” class in a few minutes. Where are you going? Don’t tell me that you are going to argue with Jason.Steven: I will do anything for my good friend. Of course I am going to argue with the guy who gave my good friend a hard time.Anita: You always like to get involved in someone else’s business. You’ll get yourself in trouble. Don’t you know it? …Kevin: Anita, don’t be upset with him. He will not listen to you. Just leave him alone. By the way, I am still waiting for your decision. Are you coming with me to the concert tomorrow?Anita: Oh, I am sorry that I almost forgot it. What time tomorrow?Kevin: Two o’clock. I cannot wait to see my adorable superstar – Jolin. Oh, how wonderful!Anita: wait a minute. We have Calculus class tomorrow afternoon. Are you out of your mind?Kevin: Well, I’m not. Yet I think we can just copy the notes from someone else.Anita: No, this is a very important class. And you would never understand it without listening to the lecture.Kevin: To me it makes no difference. Even if I were in the class I would never understand what the teacher is talking about. Besides, who likes to look at the old baldhead?——————————————————————————–Scene III(After Calculus class, Anita is on the way to the ST building. At the same time, Rita is walking to the ST building from the dorm. They meet in front of the laboratory.)Rita: Here I am. Look, I did what I promised. I am a good girl, not skipping classes.Anita: What are you talking about? This is the 5th class. You skipped the first four classes this morning. Yesterday you promised that you would not skip any class.Rita: Did I? We don’t have any class in the morning but we’re packed in the afternoon on Wednesdays.Anita: I beg your pardon? Today is Thursday and we have classes the whole day. Besides, didn’t you meet us this morning while we were going out to class?Rita: I thought you were going to the library.Anita: You are loopy now because you’ve skipped too, too many classes.Rita: Why did you say so? I know that we will have the Computer Program test tomorrow.Anita: You are incurable. The test was this morning!——————————————————————————–Scene IV(Ken and Rita are talking to each other. They are talking about how to skip a class. )Ken: I wonder why your Calculus professor never takes attendance. Yet, every time I skipped class, my professor always knew I was absent. I think I am really unlucky.Rita: well, you’ll appreciate what I’m going to tell you now, my three very good suggestions.Ken: What are they?Rita: Now lend me your ears – First of all, whether you skip the class or not, you’ll never pass the course.Ken: How do you know that I will not pass?Rita: Calculus is extremely difficult. I don’t believe you can pass it.Ken: Maybe you are right. What else?Rita: Before you skip the class you should treat everyone nicely. And after that, you should try to flatter your professor.Ken: Why?Rita: Well if you treat the classmates nicely, they will help you sign your name on the attendance sheet. And if you flatter your professor properly, you may ask the professor to pass you. Lastly – To skip the classes successfully you cannot skip too many classes or too few.Ken: What do you mean? Not too many and not too few?Rita: You need good weather for skipping classes so you can go out to fool around. And then you need good timing so you can go to the newly opened internet café that is on discount. Finally you need good relationships with the classmates so they can cover it up for you.Ken: You are a genius.Rita: I am just very professional.Ken:   I see now. I will try sometimes. Hah, Hah, Hah!!!——————————————————————————–Scene V(Ken meets Kevin at the parking lot.)Kevin: It’s time for the English class. Why are you here?Ken: I don’t want to go to English class. I want to cut the class.Kevin: Why?Ken: Because someone told me cutting classes can be fun.Kevin: That’s right. I will show you how much fun it is to cut classes.Ken: Ok. Let’s go.(Kevin and Ken cut the class and go out to have fun with girls. And both of them will fail the English class. Therefore next semester they will see Jean, their English teacher, again.)——————————————————————————–Tags: 6人剧本, 大学生活, 趣味剧本

四人英语话剧剧本-The Rolling OrangeThe Rolling Orange讲述桔子的故事。一天早上，桔子一家醒来，发现人们开着卡车，搬着梯子，来摘桔子了，快来看看他们的命运如何吧。人物Tom: Father OrangeKlye: Mother OrangeWallis: Older Sister Orange Jessie: Little Brother OrangeCharactersFather Orange: He is a middle-aged, considerate, and thoughtful man.Mother Orange: She is a younger and more youthful woman than Father. She is also very optimistic.Older Sister Orange: She is young , energetic, and competitive .Little Brother Orange: He is the youngest and, therefore, a little spoiled.SCENE I 场景一：果园One Morning in an Orange Orchard.(Today is a sunny day . An orange family is discussing nervously about something on an orange tree in an orchard. )Father: I was awakened early this morning by the sound of trucks in the field (yawning). Mother: Well, it wasn’t the first time to be like this.Sister: A whole bunch of strange men was brought in by trucks.Brother: That really scared me. They got out and started to climb up ladders.Sister: (Afraid suddenly) Oh! My friends were grabbed and put into large bags. I could hear them yell for help.Father: Hey! We shouldn’t look at them; otherwise, they’ll notice us.Mother: But it’s useless.Sister: Oh, God! We’re discovered!Brother: Oh! We’re being grabbed and pulled from our branches. What will we do for food and water?Sister: It will be so uncomfortable going to town in that bag with a lot of strangers. Mother: Well, we’ll just have to do our best. Father: Yeah!SCENE II On a Fruit Stand.(After having been on the road in a bag for half an hour, they are placed on a fruit stand. )Sister: Gee! This place is so cold and desolate. I wish we had our friends here on this stand (looks at the opposite fruit stall).Brother: I tried to make friends with these people on our way here, but everyone looked pretty uncomfortable and scared. (Suddenly)Sister: Oh! Mother! How could they do that?Mother: What are you talking about?Brother: I know what she’s talking about (Brother turns to look). Father: What did you see?Sister: My friends were cut up and eaten. How could they do that? I’m so scared. Father: Now, children, be calm. Mother: Sh~ Someone’s coming. Father: Try to be quiet.Sister: I don’t want to be taken away. Brother: Oh! My friend’s being taken away. Sister: Your friend looks so fat.Mother: If we look sour, maybe we won’t be taken away. Brother: That’s a bright idea. But how could we look sour? Mother: Now, children, stop being scared and calm down. Father: Oh! No! I’m being looked at.Mother: I told you not to eat so much. Now you look so fat and juicy. (Father is being taken away.)Brother: Oh, no, Dad!Father: (Sadly) Good bye, children.Sister: Oh! Dad’s being put into the basket and taken away. Mother: Oh, no!Brother: Stop that. Our father can’t be taken away. Mother: Look, he’s being bagged and put into a cart.Sister: Hey! The cart’s wheels are going out of the store. Brother: A car’s pulling up.Mother: Oh, no! His bag is being picked up. Sister: But it’s breaking. And Dad’s falling out. Brother: Dad’s rolling away.All: (Jumping up and down cheering) ROLL! ROLL! He’s getting away. Sister & Brother: Yip! Yip! Hurray for Dad! Mother: Oh! Thank God.

守株待兔（英语短剧） 剧本你可以自己调节角色~[开始。树）上台安静地屹立到舞台较后方。导演（范冰）走到台前]导演：Action！[跑下台][农夫冷酷地上。]农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A modern farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，回头生气地踢了下绊自己的石头，继续保持冷酷]When I was yong,I studied in Nan~tong Middle School[掏出胸卡骄傲地展示给观众看，收起]！So I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modern mobile——Motorola WC 250！This is my Swatch!This my MP3!This is my shoes——ADI~DAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry. And look at this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do U know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表]It’s time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作，锄了两下，突然] Oh yes!I think farming should be combined with music![掏出MP3戴上，开始很有激情地边锄地边唱]Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming should be combined with music~!Farming farming,I’m farming!Farming will be funny and easy~![边唱边锄边慢慢下台，把没用的道具拿走，把有用的道具准备在口袋里] [树走上前台]树：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，边做边唱：哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鹅]I’m tall!And I’m Strong!IF you hit me,you will 挂掉！Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。树站回后台][兔子A上]兔子A（一开始不知道状况。以为自己扮演周杰伦，所以很热情地上场跟观众打招呼）：Hey everybody,I’m Jay!I love U!I love Nantong![展示新专辑《十一月的肖邦》]Now let me sing one of my new songs to U！The name of the song is 《发如雪》！[清清嗓子正要唱，这时候导演（范冰）上]导演：[拿手中纸筒狠狠打了下兔子A的头]What are U doing?! Now U are a rabbit,understand?![兔子A：Sorry sorry sorry] [导演边说边夺过《十一月的肖邦》。导演下台之前，看了下《十》] What’s this?[看了看，惊喜地]Oh!It’s mine！（很兴奋地拿着下场）兔子A：OK,now I’m a rabbit. I just had my breakfast. Now I’m just walking around here. I think walking after meals is good for my health. [在场上转圈，悠闲散步][农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子]农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch！[扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it！ [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走][农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走，兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。]兔子A：Wahhhh~!（吓一跳）What’s this！农夫：Hnnnn…！I will kill U for lunch!兔子A：But your gun… [帮农夫把枪头调转过来（农夫一开始把枪对着自己）]农夫：Thank you!兔子A：My pleasure. （突然想起来农夫要杀自己） Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑，躲到树后面，农夫追到树前]农夫：Where~ to go? Haha![农夫开了一枪“砰”。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪，没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。 农夫又开枪，同上。 农夫开始加快频率，火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪，躲着躲着跳起舞来。树继续痛苦中弹状。]兔子A[自我陶醉中，边跳边说]You didn’t hurt me! You didn’t hurt me！树：[痛苦万分地]But…U…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后][兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪，走到兔子面前，看着它。 兔子猛然抬头发现]农夫：Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子，开枪，没声音，看看枪，示意没子弹了。兔子见状，非常兴奋地大笑起来]兔子A：Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now！ [兴奋大笑，笑到抽筋，笑到后仰。突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa ！[兔子晕两下~~ “我倒！” 倒地]农夫：OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [想一下] But I’m still full now.Let me tie it to the tree and have a sleep.I will eat it after sleeping.[把兔子绑到树上。倒地睡到树旁边]……兔子A：[兔子很快醒了，看看四周，发现自己被绑了，很惊讶]Where am I? What happened?树：[指着农夫]He caught you and wanted to eat you.兔子A：What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape？[东张西望，看到农夫的手机][兔子不知不觉地把树杈移开，走到手机前看了看]咦？What’s this？[捡起来看]Oh,a mobile.[再看]It’s beautiful.[放回原处。 又自觉地把自己绑在树上。 突然想起来]A mobile！Maybe I can call some one to help me！ [又不知不觉地把自己放出来，那起手机] But how to use it？？？树：[走上前]Let me tell U.Look,press this button![给兔子]兔子A：Oh I see. [做出打电话的样子] 喂？李咏：[上台，激情澎湃地] Hello！This is lucky fifty-two！[做出幸运52的手势]I’m Liyong！Now let’s start our first question！What’s the most probable relation between 康熙 and 雍正？ A. Husband and wife B.Teacher and student C.Waiter and costomer Answer me,please!兔子A：（很冷漠地）Sorry， wrong number.[挂掉]李咏：Answer me!Answer me! En..?喂？喂喂？[很郁闷地下台]兔子A：Now let me call again.[拨打] 喂？兔子B：喂？兔子A：Hey Jackey！兔子B：Hey tommy!兔子A：How are you doing?兔子B：Fine,thank you.And U?兔子A：I’m fine too!How are your parents doing?兔子B：They are fine,thank you.And U?兔子A：They are fine,too!How is your uncle doing?兔子B：He’s fine,thank you!And U?兔子A：He’s fine , too!兔子B：But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY!!!兔子A：No no no!I’m in danger now!Come and help me!!!兔子B：But where are you?兔子A：I’m under a tree!兔子B：[边打电话边在附近走，经过兔子A面前，两个人还没发现]What can you see around you?兔子A：I see a rabbit ,rather like you!兔子B：A rabbit…rather like me… OK! I’ll soon come!Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆离开][兔子A 打完电话，小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处，还很有礼貌地说了句“Thank you.” 然后又很自觉地把自己绑回了树上]兔子A：Hahaha!My friend will come and save me,yeah! [兴奋过度，后仰，头又撞倒树上，昏眩中…“我晕！” 又晕了][兔子B上。]兔子B：I’m also rabbit！I’m clever! I’m brave ! And I’m strong! [展示肌肉] OH！My friend is here!Let me help him out! [费力地想把树枝（双臂）挪开，使了几次劲，还是不行] It’s too tight! I must think of a good way! [看到农夫扔掉的痒痒挠] Let’s see,what’s this！A 锄头！[装作打高尔夫球，试了试锄头手感]Oh,it’s nice.[走到树面前，正要砍]树：Stop！！！What will you do?兔子B：I will cut you down to save my friend.树：O. [突然醒悟] What?! Cut me down?! Teachers told us that we should protect the environment! Understand?!兔子B：Oh yes！You are right! [扔掉锄头] I have to think of another idea! [想了想] Oh!![灵感突来][看了看手表] Oh it’s time to do morning exercise ！Come on! [开始带头做早操。做着做着对树说“Follow me！” （企图让树动起来，两只手松开，这样就可以救出兔子A）树也开始跟着做起早操。 兔子B轻轻上前，想救出兔子A。但是树的广播操动作恰好都是会挡住营救的。兔子B狂汗… -_-b 广播操毕。树继续绑着兔子A]兔子B：Why?! Maybe I need another idea. Oh!I’v got it！Music！ [音响放起泰坦尼克号主题曲高潮前奏。 兔子B抱住树，企图引导树像女主角一样张开双臂，放出兔子A。树渐渐陶醉，手缓缓松开。兔子B正要搭救同伴，突然兔子A两只手张开，成了女主角动作。树又抱住了兔子A的腰，成了男主角动作。树和A陶醉其中。B要唤醒A：“Wake up!Wake up!”兔子A沉醉其中，完全不理它，还用脚踹走要救它的B：“Don’t disturb me！”继续陶醉。]兔子B：（无奈ing…）Stop！！！（音乐停） （沮丧）I can’t save my friend…[掏出纸巾想要擦汗，带出10块钱，掉在地上]树：Money！[一个箭步冲上去捡起钱，回到原位并且对着太阳验钞。]兔子A：[看四周] I’m free!!!Oh yes,I’m free!Thank you,Jackey! [慢动作深情扑向兔子B] Jackey~~~~ [突然兔子B低头系鞋带。兔子A控制不住一下子撞在树上，晕两下说：“暴头！”死翘。] [兔子B见状冲上去，深情地搂住A：“Tommy!Tommy！”[伤心地俯下身子，紧紧抱住A][这时睡觉中的农夫突然一个翻身，又把B压在了下面]兔子B：I…can’t….breath……I’m dying!!!! [也翘了]农夫：[农夫这时候醒了。擦了下口水，看见两只兔子] En..?Two rubbits! I rememer I have caught just one?! Oh,maybe I drank too much.[兴奋地一手提一只兔子，哼着小曲下场]树：[还在验钞的树正在高兴，突然发现是假钞]A！It’s a fake！Wait for me！[追下去]

《赖皮孙子糊涂爷爷》英语话剧P: Pirate-Grandson. M: Mother. F: Father. K: King -Grandpa. 旁白: There are 4 members in a family, Pirate, a 7-year-old naughty boy. His mummy is a beautiful white-collar worker. His dad, Andy Lau is a famous singer, and his dear grandpa, King is a kindly old man. Pirate loves his grandpa most, because King is very spoiling him. He hates his parents. Frankly speaking, he is afraid of them, Because they are very strict with him. . 正剧：(P,K出场) P: Old King, Open the TV, I want to see Tom and Jerry. I love that mouse. Quick! No time! I can’t wait another second. K: Oh dear! I nearly forget it. Don’t worry, I open it right now. (作开电视状) P: Ha Ha! It’s really funny! Tom is so good! (作高兴状) Oh no! “The End!” Where is Tom? I hate the end! (摔电视机，作极度气愤状) Old King!? (对K吼) K：Oh, what a pity dog! (作左顾右盼状) Your parents are not here ,and we can change another one ,our brave Pirate, just tell me. I’m sure your demand will be satisfied. (作充满自信状) P：Really! OK! Now, let’s watch Caribbean Pirates! K: Humm, No, it’s unfit for you…… (作犹豫状) P: I just like this film, Old King, you tell lies. You don’t keep your promise.（作气愤欲泣状） K; Oh yes, I play it for you. (作为难状) But please be quite, I’m afraid your parents wound not like us doing these. P: Don’t tell so much! I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I promise it to you. (作自豪自信状) K：OK. (作舒心，安慰状) P: Fight him, kill him. Throw these bad guys into the sea…… (高声喊) K: Xu …….. (作禁声状). Remember your promise, young adult man. P: Oh? What promise? I have forgotten it. (作天经地义状) K: Oh?! You are right（作理解状，因为Pirate一贯如此，出尔反尔） P: Old King. I give you an honorable mission. (作自豪状) Be my horse, and I will ride on your back , let’s help these people in dangerous situation, just like a brave knight.(作勇敢状) K: What! Ride on my back! Be your horse!!(作惊异状) P: Yes, your hearing is very good, any question? (作若无其事状) K: No, No, sound a good idea! Very good! You are a brave Pirate. Now come on my back. (作无奈状) P: (作高兴状，作跃上马背状) Hei! Let’s go! Kill all those bad men. Quick! Run quick! ....... (意气风发状) （M,F携手进场）: P: Oh, my god! Mummy, Daddy! (A,D作慌忙状，挡在电视机前) M: Dad, what are you doing!? Naughty Pirate, isn’t your trick!? (作气愤状) P:（作阳痿状） Mummy, it’s not my fault. Old king let me massage his back. Hei Hei (作心虚状，以掩饰内心的恐惧) M: I don’t believe it. (作严肃状) Dad, isn’t really that? (询问K) K: Yes, of course, I can’t image a child only 5 year old, can massage so good. Oh……. (释然状，因为圆了我的谎) M: Really. I don’t believe the litter pirate can massage, who taught him. (作怀疑状) Dear, isn’t you ? F: No, I haven’t, but I decide to enjoy his massage another day, Do you think so, dear? M: Yes, really a good suggestion. （P，D作惊恐状。A：发抖，D：挥汗)（P挡着电视怕被M、F发现，K也为P作掩饰） P: Mummy, Do you feel a little cold? K: Yes, I can feel it. (边挥汗边说冷) M: No, it’s summer. Really hot, do you catch cold? P: No, No, just my feeling. (更加发抖，一不小心被B看到了电视) M: Pirate, what’s behind you? (疑问状) P: Oh, nothing, nothing! (作惊恐状) M: Move away .little Pirate! (作气愤状) P: Oh no! The storm will come. (捂脸作害怕状) M: Caribbean Pirate! What’s a bad film! Little Pirate!? (气愤状) P: Mummy, I surrender. (作投降状) M: Daddy ,this film is unfit for him , it is full of killing，force and negative passion, and it will let him become bad ! K: I know that, but I meat to let him watch Tom and Jerry and he like it very much. Yes? Pirate? (想转移话题与Pirate站在同一战线) P: Yes, a very clever mouse and a stupid cat. (作博学状) M: Dad, don’t let him watch so much TV, it wastes a lot of time, and it is bad for his eyesight. He may become short-sighted. (诚恳状) K: I know the disadvantage. But TV also teaches him a lot of things which he can’t learn from books, Such as survival ability and communication skills. (中气不足状，因为理由不充分) M: Just those force, fighting and cheat? (置疑状) P: Mummy, I apologize that I have cheated you. (诚恳状) I won’t do that next time. Can you forgive me this time, Mummy. (做鬼脸,逗妈妈开心) M: Pick up trick. It doesn’t work this time. (义正言辞状) P: Mummy, not next time, ok? ( 作悲伤状，以引起妈妈的同情) (M不理P) M: Dad. I know you love little pirate very much, but I think you should choose the right way. Spoiling is not true love. It’s the poison in honey. (作严肃状) F: Yes, Dad, Pirate has a lot of things to do. We should be his guide, not to carry out everything he said. We can bring him to the library to see what books attract him most. We can help him to develop his interest, shape his personality, and improve his intelligence and so on. I think it’s the right way to love our little Pirate. Do you think so, dear? (很理智，明晰状) M: It’s just what I want to say. (赞同状 ) F: Ok, I should change my way of loving him. I should let him do his own thing and be his guide. (作彻悟状) P: Oh, so much time has passed. I eager to go to wash room, I can’t bear it. (捂小腹，作难受状) K: Ok, I go to bring the paper, don’t worry! I’ll accompany with you. (作习惯性状，因为Pirate的大小便通常都由King主管) M、F：No, let him do that himself, and be his guide. (同声提醒K) K: Oh, yes, little Pirate, it’s your job now, nobody can help. You should do it yourself. (作揶揄状) P: Xi, I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I can do it. (跨进厕所，作藐视状，有什么大不了，不就进个厕所吗) M、F、K: Brave Pirate! (作自豪状，含有夸奖意) P: Oh, my god! The washroom is so large and dark! (害怕状，因为从末一个人进厕所) M、F、K: (All 晕倒)

剧本主要是由台词和舞台指示组成的，是戏剧艺术创作的文本基础，编导与演员演出的依据。以下是我精心整理的英语短剧剧本，欢迎大家分享。

角色：小兔、小狗、小猴、山羊

characters: hare、dog、monkey、goat

画外音：小兔子肚子饿了，她想找些东西吃。找呀，找了半天。忽然发现小路边的地里长着一根萝卜。

兔：啊，一个萝卜！一个大萝卜！我把它拔出来。

H:Oh,a radish!A big radish!I’ll pull it out.

哎——嗨——呦！哎——嗨——呦！

Ai-----Hay---Yo! Ai---Hay---Yo!

这萝卜太重了。我拔不出来。

The radish is too heavy. I can’t pull it out.

狗：我是小狗。我饿了。哦，兔小姐，你在干什么？

D: I’m a dog. I’m hungry. Oh, Miss hare,What are you doing.

兔：你好，狗先生。一个萝卜，一个大萝卜。它太重了。我拔不出来。

H:Hello,Mr.Dog.A radish,a big radish.It’s too heavy.I can’t pull it out.

狗：我帮你。咱们一起拔。

D:I’ll help you.Let’s pull it together.

兔：谢谢你。咱们一起拔。

H:Thank you .Let’s pull it together.

兔和狗：一、二、开始！哎----嗨----呦！哎---嗨---呦！哦，这萝卜太重了。我们拔不出来。

H&D:One,two,begin!Ai---Hay—Yo!Ai—Hay—Yo!Oh,the radish is too heavy.We can’t pull it out.

（小猴走了过来）

猴：我是小猴。我饿了。哦，你们在干什么？

M:I’m a monkey. I’m hungry.Oh, What are you doing?

兔和狗：你好，猴先生。一个萝卜，一个大箩卜。它太重了。我们拔不出来。

H&D:Hello,Mr. Monkey. A radish, a big radish. It’s too heauy. We can’t pull it out.

猴：我帮你们。咱们一起拔。

M:I’ll help you. Let’s pull it together.

兔和狗：谢谢你。咱们一起拔。

H&D:Thank you. Let’s pull it together.

兔，狗和猴：一，二，开始！哎---嗨---呦！哎---嗨---呦！哦，这萝卜太重了。我们拔不出来。

H,D&M:One,two,begin! Ai---Hay---Yo! Ai—Hay---Yo!Oh,the radish is too heavy. We can’t pull it out.

（小山羊走了过来）

羊：我是山羊。我饿了。哦，你们在干什么？

G:I’m a goat. I’m hungry.Oh, what are you doing?

狗、兔和猴：你好，山羊先生。一个萝卜，一个大萝卜。它太重了。我们拔不出来。

H,D&M:Hello, Mr.Goat.A radish. a big radish.It’s too heavy. We can’t pull it out.

羊：我帮你们。咱们一起拔。

G:I’ll help you. Let’s pull it together.

狗，兔和猴：谢谢你，咱们一起拔。

H,D&M:Thank you.Let’s pull it together.

兔，狗，猴和羊：一，二，开始。哎—嗨---呦！这萝卜真大，这萝卜真重。哎—嗨—呦！我们必须使劲干。我们一定把它拔出来。

H,D,M&G:One,two,begin.Ai—Hay—Yo!The radish is big.The radish is heavy. Ai---Hay—Yo! We must work hard. We must pull it out.

兔，狗，猴和羊：哎—嗨—呦！啊，萝卜拔出来了！一个大萝卜！一个重萝卜。我们大家一起吃！

H,D,M&G:Ai—Hay—Yo!Ah, the radish is out! A big radish!We’ll eat it together .A heavy radish!

（他们一起围着大萝卜唱歌，跳舞。

甲：Hello,every one, have you ever seen the movie ? Yeah, you are right, Im the director-- Cameron Diaz, applaud , thank you…Recently, I will direct a new movie called < Avatar 2 >, today, there will be a audition and I will select three actresses who can get the chance to perform in this film with famous actress---Anne Hathaway,OK, lets begin. At first , talent show, number one, lets welcome.

乙：（风情万种，妖娆妩媚地走进来，给观众一个飞吻）：oh,honey,dear,sweet,darling director, the most beautiful charming, sexy girl is coming , every body knows me, right? Yeah, Im Nicole Kidman, open your eyes as big as you can and hold your breath, there will be a unique, fantastic dance show for you, I believe that all of you will be crazy about it ,（打个响指） come some music.（搞笑舞，自由发挥）。 （跳完，鞠躬，向观众谢幕）， thank you,（面向导演）， honey, is it a wonderful performance?

甲：（作目瞪口呆状），

乙：（在甲眼前晃手），oh, darling, are you Ok?

甲：eh…my god, have you use some stimulant drugs this morning, you make my nerves nervous. Get out , next one.

乙：oh no …sweet ,you break my heart…（掩面离去）

丙：oh it seems to be serious. God bless me（画个十字架，镇定地走到甲面前，伸出手）， nice to meet you, director.

甲：（与之握手），nice to meet you too,so, introduce yourself please.

丙：Im Celine Dion, you know, I dont have too many achievements, I just won five Grammy awards, 12 World Music Awards, 7 American Music Awards , 21 Juno Awards and（做沉思状） oh, I forget it , a Oscar Award, （同学鼓掌，乙作安抚状），oh, calm down, calm down,its just a piece of cake for me ,you know, I…

甲：ok ,stop, time is limited, just begin

丙：OK!!! Ill use my first signature song to conquer you --my heart will go on, just enjoy it.

near, far, wherever you are

i believe that the heart does go on

once more, you opened the door（甲stop stop,丙不理，继续作深情状）

and youre here in my heart,

and my heart will go on and on.

甲：guard ,guard,help,drag this mad woman out.

Oh, Im dying,hope the next one will give me a surprise

丁：（对着乙的.背影，沉思状）to be,or not to be,its a question!（走到甲面前牵起她的手做亲吻状），Im glad to see you,my dear princess.

甲（做娇羞状）：oh, its really a big surprise,so whats your name?

丁：My name? Oh, wait a minute. Do you know Trish Regan?（甲，白痴的摇头），eh,its ok,then how about Robin Meade?（摇头），and Melissa Theuriau?（摇头），（丁，情绪激动），you know nothing, how can you sit in here.

甲（指门，气愤状），you you you……

丁：ok ok, it doesnt matter, you neednt learn about them, but you must know me, the most famous hostess who will catch up with those person and become the greatest poet---oprah!

甲：I dont care who you are, just show me your talent.

丁：ok ,listen,one poem,I have had found my best love, but I didn’t treasure her. When I lost her, I regret. It’s the most pain in the world. If God can give me another chance, I will say there words to her "I love you"!

甲（起鸡皮疙瘩状）：oh, I cant stand, show you the door,

丁（转身离开，继续台词）：If there is a time limit, I hope, it is （回头，对甲）10 thousand years.

甲：oh, its really a terrible ,awful, horrible day,why it is such difficult to find an excellent actress.Oh, Im dying,you three, come here,

三人跑进来，乙妩媚状：honey, you like my dance,right?

丙镇静状：director,you like my singing,right?

丁深情状：princess,you like my poet,right?

三人同声：we are past,right?

甲：ehThank you for your ehWonderful performance,but,Im sorry to tell you …（接电话） What? Nobody comes here except they three,oh…god.（挂电话，低头），you three,（抬头），pass!

三人欢呼，说：we make it,we are superstar!

乙（甜蜜状）：thats very sweet of you,we love you so much（飞个吻）

甲：you know, you are not good enough now, but Im look forward to your progress.Do you have confidence?

三人齐答：yes,we do!

甲伸手，三人搭上，同声，fight,fight,fight!

说明：绝对搞笑，绝对雷人，鉴于所花精力，所以，适当地收一点点辛苦费，第一个表演舞蹈时，音乐可以选用<猪八戒背媳妇>,第二个唱 时，一定要跑调加破音，第三个一定要足够深情恶心，就这么多提醒的，希望您看得开心，下的舒心。

人物：令狐冲（linghuchong），小师妹（little sister），任盈盈（yingying），东方不败（invincible eastern），小尼姑（little nun），田伯光（tianboguang），林平之（linpingzhi） 第一幕

（令狐冲与小师妹正在舞剑，甜蜜无比）

令狐冲：little sister ,you are the most beautful girl in this world!i will love you forever .

小师妹：（害羞）oh!really?you are the most handsome boy I have ever seen!i love you too!

令狐冲：I love you too

小师妹：I love you too too

令狐冲：I love you too too too!

（小师妹的剑不小心落下令狐冲捡起）

令狐冲：oh little sister ,your sword!

小师妹：no it’s your sword!

令狐冲：your sword!（扭扭咧咧）

小师妹：your sword!

令狐冲：your sword!

小师妹：it’s madness when I say it ,but not when you say about it! 令狐冲：ok , you are right ,it’s my sword. （顺从态）

令狐冲：little sister ,there is one thing I want to tell you ,master asked me to go downhill for a few days ,so during my absence ,brother lin will be with you ,take good care of yourself ,I will be back soon.

小师妹：rearlly?oh , my life will be boring without you!（伤感）so,good-bye!（突然兴奋）

第二幕

（令狐冲在下山后遇见正在调戏小尼姑的田伯光）

小尼姑：give away!

田伯光：come here!

小尼姑：if you talk any more nonsence, I’ll hit you with my sword! 小尼姑：keep away! keep away!

田伯光：let me take good care of you!don’t be afraid of me , I’m the most handsome man in china.

令狐冲：stop that! Don’t hurt that girl!

田伯光：who is that man?run far away if you don’t want to pass away! 令狐冲：so ,let’s fighting!（音乐，用功夫里面的那首）

（两人打斗，令狐冲不敌田伯光）

田伯光：give out that little boy!you can’t stop me from enjoying my life with her!

令狐冲：no ,if that!if that ,I’d rather die!

（再上，再被打败，重伤）

（突然闪出一人，身手凌厉，田伯光被秒掉）

小尼姑：unbelievable!he’s my hero!

东方不败：what a handsome man ,it would be a pity if you die here.and that’s why I save you ,so ,don’t fall in love with me ,forever!

令狐冲：you are a man ,how can I fall in love with you!

东方不败：but what if I ware a girl?

令狐冲：if that ,I won’t believe in love for any longer

东方不败：wait for me here!i’ll be back soon!

（熄灯，东方不败换女装）

令狐冲：you you are so beautiful! I love you

东方不败：no !we can never be together ,not because of you ,nor because of me ,it’s the world to blame!goodbey honey ,we won’t meet again.

（灯灭，第三幕）

（麻将声响起，四人麻将，分别是令狐冲，小师妹，林平之，任盈盈，令狐冲面对的是林平之）

（中文对话：

林平之：八筒

小师妹：吃

林平之：九条

小师妹：碰

林平之：五条

小师妹：杠！

令狐冲：五桶

小师妹：糊了！）

令狐冲：I lose again ,little sister ,brother lin is always help you !what’s the matter with you honey?

小师妹：so I will tell you the truth ,I am in love with brother lin ,compared with you ,he is more hot, he have strong kiss with me every now and then .but you ,have not even touch my hand during the past few years!

令狐冲：I’m so sad to hear that

任盈盈：brother linhu ,don’t be sad ,when you are longly ,I will be right by your side!

令狐冲：thank you yingying ,when everbody leave me ,you are the only one stay with me .

任盈盈：when you are longly ,I can play music for you ,so ,let us be together! I wana be your girl , and you are my boy!

令狐冲：ok,you are my girl now, do what you want to do!

（任盈盈抱住令狐冲，吻了他）

（灯灭）

（旁白：two years later ,it is said that invincible eastern was killed by linhuchong , the biggest enemy died , but the world get worse , people suffer from songshanpai . linghuchong live with renyingying from that day on , but is he happy ? who is the girl really in his heart? ）

第三幕

（非诚勿扰音乐，田伯光作为主持人，四位女嘉宾在场上端坐，分别是小师妹，小尼姑，任盈盈，东方不败，令狐冲上场）

田伯光：welcome to "no honesty no bother" I’m the compere xiaotiantian .taday there are 4 girls waiting for their boy.now let’s welcome the sunny boy linghuchong!（音乐）

令狐冲：holle everybody , I am linghuchong from huashan mountain,I’m a strong man as well as a handsome boy,you will never regret if you choose me .

田伯光：so girls , it’s time to turn down your light , to turn or not to turn it is a question

（都没有熄灯）

田伯光：it’s out of my surprise!all of the lights are on!so you can choose the girl you love best.

小师妹：brother , it was all my fault before, brother lin is no longer a real man I am so longly these days, the boy I really love is you!

小尼姑：brother , you have saved me , all my body ang heart are yours! 任盈盈：brother chong ,I am the girl who accompanied you .when you feel longly ,I played music for you .when you are happy ,I played music for you .when you are sad ,I played music for you!

令狐冲：but don’t you know I don’t love music?（径直走向东方不败，牵住她的手）

令狐冲：I thought you have passed away, it is so good to see you again 东方不败：I was saved by your master fengqingyang （停顿）。You wanted to kill me ,why choose me now?

令狐冲：I did’t want you know?it was not decide by me !belive in me ,you are the girl in my heart ! whether past or present!

东方不败：I won’t belive in you any more , you have so many female friends ,any of them can be your girl friend , isn’t it?

令狐冲：the girl you love is not the one who grow up with you ,nor the one who like you ,nor the one who play music for you ! she is the one you feel right ,and that is the most important.belive that you will always be my girl!

东方不败：thank you for your love , which I can’t afford to.we can never be together, it is decide by God . I will not marry you , nor see you again .so ,it is the last time we see each other .choose the one you like best and be kind to her .

Good-bye

演员: P: Pirate-Grandson. M: Mother.F: Father. K: King -Grandpa.旁白: There are 4 members in a family, Pirate, a 7-year-old naughty boy. His mummy is a beautiful white-collar worker. His dad, Andy Lau is a famous singer, and his dear grandpa, King is a kindly old man. Pirate loves his grandpa most, because King is very spoiling him. He hates his parents. Frankly speaking, he is afraid of them, Because they are very strict with him. .正剧：(P,K出场)P: Old King, Open the TV, I want to see Tom and Jerry. I love that mouse. Quick! No time! I can’t wait another second.K: Oh dear! I nearly forget it. Don’t worry, I open it right now. (作开电视状)P: Ha Ha! It’s really funny! Tom is so good! (作高兴状)Oh no! “The End!” Where is Tom? I hate the end! (摔电视机，作极度气愤状) Old King!? (对K吼)K：Oh, what a pity dog! (作左顾右盼状) Your parents are not here ,and we can change another one ,our brave Pirate, just tell me. I’m sure your demand will be satisfied. (作充满自信状)P：Really! OK! Now, let’s watch Caribbean Pirates!K: Humm, No, it’s unfit for you…… (作犹豫状)P: I just like this film, Old King, you tell lies. You don’t keep your promise.（作气愤欲泣状）K; Oh yes, I play it for you. (作为难状) But please be quite, I’m afraid your parents wound not like us doing these.P: Don’t tell so much! I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I promise it to you. (作自豪自信状)K：OK. (作舒心，安慰状)P: Fight him, kill him. Throw these bad guys into the sea…… (高声喊)K: Xu …….. (作禁声状). Remember your promise, young adult man.P: Oh? What promise? I have forgotten it. (作天经地义状)K: Oh?! You are right（作理解状，因为Pirate一贯如此，出尔反尔）P: Old King. I give you an honorable mission. (作自豪状) Be my horse, and I will ride on your back , let’s help these people in dangerous situation, just like a brave knight.(作勇敢状)K: What! Ride on my back! Be your horse!!(作惊异状)P: Yes, your hearing is very good, any question? (作若无其事状)K: No, No, sound a good idea! Very good! You are a brave Pirate. Now come on my back. (作无奈状)P: (作高兴状，作跃上马背状) Hei! Let’s go! Kill all those bad men. Quick! Run quick! ....... (意气风发状)（M,F携手进场）:P: Oh, my god! Mummy, Daddy! (A,D作慌忙状，挡在电视机前)M: Dad, what are you doing!? Naughty Pirate, isn’t your trick!? (作气愤状)P:（作阳痿状） Mummy, it’s not my fault. Old king let me massage his back. Hei Hei (作心虚状，以掩饰内心的恐惧)M: I don’t believe it. (作严肃状) Dad, isn’t really that? (询问K)K: Yes, of course, I can’t image a child only 5 year old, can massage so good. Oh……. (释然状，因为圆了我的谎)M: Really. I don’t believe the litter pirate can massage, who taught him. (作怀疑状) Dear, isn’t you ?F: No, I haven’t, but I decide to enjoy his massage another day, Do you think so, dear?M: Yes, really a good suggestion.（P，D作惊恐状。A：发抖，D：挥汗)（P挡着电视怕被M、F发现，K也为P作掩饰）P: Mummy, Do you feel a little cold?K: Yes, I can feel it. (边挥汗边说冷)M: No, it’s summer. Really hot, do you catch cold?P: No, No, just my feeling. (更加发抖，一不小心被B看到了电视)M: Pirate, what’s behind you? (疑问状)P: Oh, nothing, nothing! (作惊恐状)M: Move away .little Pirate! (作气愤状)P: Oh no! The storm will come. (捂脸作害怕状)M: Caribbean Pirate! What’s a bad film! Little Pirate!? (气愤状)P: Mummy, I surrender. (作投降状)M: Daddy ,this film is unfit for him , it is full of killing，force and negative passion, and it will let him become bad !K: I know that, but I meat to let him watch Tom and Jerry and he like it very much. Yes? Pirate? (想转移话题与Pirate站在同一战线)P: Yes, a very clever mouse and a stupid cat. (作博学状)M: Dad, don’t let him watch so much TV, it wastes a lot of time, and it is bad for his eyesight. He may become short-sighted. (诚恳状)K: I know the disadvantage. But TV also teaches him a lot of things which he can’t learn from books, Such as survival ability and communication skills. (中气不足状，因为理由不充分)M: Just those force, fighting and cheat? (置疑状)P: Mummy, I apologize that I have cheated you. (诚恳状) I won’t do that next time. Can you forgive me this time, Mummy. (做鬼脸,逗妈妈开心)M: Pick up trick. It doesn’t work this time. (义正言辞状)P: Mummy, not next time, ok? ( 作悲伤状，以引起妈妈的同情)(M不理P)M: Dad. I know you love little pirate very much, but I think you should choose the right way. Spoiling is not true love. It’s the poison in honey. (作严肃状)F: Yes, Dad, Pirate has a lot of things to do. We should be his guide, not to carry out everything he said. We can bring him to the library to see what books attract him most. We can help him to develop his interest, shape his personality, and improve his intelligence and so on. I think it’s the right way to love our little Pirate. Do you think so, dear? (很理智，明晰状)M: It’s just what I want to say. (赞同状 )F: Ok, I should change my way of loving him. I should let him do his own thing and be his guide. (作彻悟状)P: Oh, so much time has passed. I eager to go to wash room, I can’t bear it. (捂小腹，作难受状)K: Ok, I go to bring the paper, don’t worry! I’ll accompany with you. (作习惯性状，因为Pirate的大小便通常都由King主管)M、F：No, let him do that himself, and be his guide. (同声提醒K)K: Oh, yes, little Pirate, it’s your job now, nobody can help. You should do it yourself. (作揶揄状)P: Xi, I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I can do it. (跨进厕所，作藐视状，有什么大不了，不就进个厕所吗)M、F、K: Brave Pirate! (作自豪状，含有夸奖意)P: Oh, my god! The washroom is so large and dark! (害怕状，因为从末一个人进厕所)M、F、K: (All 晕倒)—— The End