英语幽默小短篇

若是你在 学习英语 的过程中感到很枯燥，不妨来读一些英语幽默小 故事 放松放松。英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣，相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。

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英语幽默小故事1

My husband，Michael，a bus driver，was passing a deserted bus stop when one of his passengers called out that a woman wanted to get on. He pulled up to the curb and opened the doors.

我丈夫，麦克是个开大巴士的。一次当他刚要开过一个无人上下车的车站时，一位乘客喊过有位老妇人要上车。麦克把车停靠在马路边，打开了车门。

After a minute，Michael saw an elderly woman with a cane crossing the street slowly.

过了足有一分钟，麦克才见到一位老太太拄着拐杖，慢腾腾地过着马路朝车子走来。

He waited patiently as she made her way to the bus and climbed the steps.

麦克衬心地等她来到汽车旁上着台阶。While she was looking in her purse for her bus pass，he began to close the doors.”Wait a minute!”she snapped."My mother's coming.”

趁老太太打开钱包找月票的工夫，麦克欲关门，老妇人阻止道:“等一会，我妈妈还在后面呢!”

英语幽默小故事2

Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."

Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie发现，不管问他老婆什么问题，Morris总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲密的称呼，象蜜糖，我的爱人，亲爱的，甜心等等。Bernie对Morris说，“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的，结婚这么多年了，你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”Morris低下头，小声地对Bernie说，“老实跟你说吧，三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。”

英语幽默小故事3

Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."

两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。 其中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上这个就可以跑得过老虎吗?” 他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”

英语幽默小故事4

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

一个女孩去 拜访 她的金发朋友，这个朋友最近养了两只“狗”，于是女孩问道：“它们叫什么名字呀?”

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

金发朋友说，一只叫Rolex，另一只叫Timex。

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?

女孩说：“哪有狗狗叫这个名字的。”

"HELLLOOOOOOO..." answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

“那个……”金发朋友说。“他们是监视器!”

英语幽默小故事5

Too Much Pressure

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job，but now I found out the real reason：I’m tired because I’m overworked.The population of this country is 237 million.104 million are retired.That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are 85 million in school，which leaves 48 million to do the work.Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government，leaving 19 million to do the work.2.8 million are in the Armed Forces，which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.At any given time there are 188，000 people in hospitals，leaving 1，212，000 to do the work.Now，there are 1，211，998 people in prisons.That leaves just two people to do the work.You and me.And you’re sitting at the table reading jokes.

压力太大

多年以来我一直感到很疲惫，我曾经把原因归咎为缺乏睡眠以及来自于工作上的巨大压力。但是，我现在找到了真正的原因：我感到疲倦是因为我超负荷工作。我们这个国家有2.37亿人口。其中1.04亿已经退休了。还剩下1.33亿在工作。有8，500万人还在上学，工作的就剩下4，800万。这其中还有2，900万联邦政府雇员，真正做事的就剩1，900万人，又有280万人在服兵役，就剩下1，620万人在工作。从中再去掉各州和市政府的雇员1，480万人，还剩下140万人工作。但又有18.8万人生病住院，现在只剩下121.2万人工作。其中1，211，998人在坐牢。这样仅剩下两个人在工作，就是你和我。而你却坐在桌边看笑话。

英语幽默小故事6

Top 9 Reasons to Study Economics

Economists are armed and dangerous: "Watch out for our invisible hands."

Economists can supply it on demand .

You can talk about money without ever having to make any.

You get to say "trickle down" with a straight face .

Mick Jagger and Arnold Schwarzenegger both studied economics and look how they turned out .

When you are in the unemployment line, at least you will know why you are there.

If you rearrange the letters in "ECONOMICS", you get "COMIC NOSE".

Although ethics teaches that virtue is its own reward , in economics we get taught that reward is its own virtue.

When you get drunk, you can tell everyone that you are just researching the law of diminishing marginal utility.

学习经济学的九大理由

经济学家们会武功：“小心我们的无影手。”

经济学家们能够做到有求必应。

你可以不必挣钱而对金钱夸夸其谈。

你可以开始拉着脸说“涓滴”这一术语了。

米克·贾格尔和阿诺德·施瓦辛格两人都学过经济学，看看他们后来都成为了什么样的人物。

站在失业队伍里的时候，至少你会知道自己为什么失业。

假如重新安排“经济学”这个词包含的字母，你得到的是“小丑的鼻子”。

伦理学教导我们坚守德行本身即是回报，在经济学中我们得到的教导则是获得回报本身即是德行。

喝醉了的时候，你可以告诉所有人你只是在体验边际效用递减规律而已。

英语幽默小故事7

Nobel Prize in Economics

Economics is the only field in which two people can get a Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing.

Or Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things. Specifically, Myrdal and Hayek shared one.

(A rumor has it that there was a similar case in neuroscience, Golgi and Cajal, maybe economists are not so different!)

诺贝尔经济学奖

两个持完全不同观点的人都能够获得诺贝尔奖，这种情况只有在经济学领域才会发生。

或者两个持完全不同观点的人能够分享诺贝尔奖，这种情况也只有在经济学领域才会发生。具体而言，缪尔达尔和哈耶克就是如此。

(有传言称在神经科学领域也有类似情形，比如戈尔吉和卡哈尔，所以经济学家也许并非那么另类。)

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英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。

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英语幽默小故事1

Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground

An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.

Why not?

If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up  already.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

别捡地上的钱

一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。

“为什么不捡?”

“假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。”

“该发明的都已经被发明出来了。”

英语幽默小故事2

The Less You Know, the More Money You Make

Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.

Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have

Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.

知识越少挣钱越多

定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。

下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明：

假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。

假设二：时间就是金钱。

每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。

因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。

结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。

英语幽默小故事3

They Should Be Playing at Night

A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to  some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over  to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for  their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about  the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on  me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."

他们本该在晚上打球

神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。”

英语幽默小故事4

A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.

一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。”

英语幽默小故事5

Even My Driver Can Answer that Question

A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on  the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.

The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."

甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题

一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。

司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。”

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