狗大便的故事英语

Go Potty

no dogs peeingno dongs pooing

禁止游泳No swimming禁止钓鱼No fishing禁止狗随地大便 No leaking and shitting

好的但不是我想要的

一目了然

Here's a story about my doggie cousin Lulu. She's a crazy pug. One day while Lulu's people were out she found a yummy present and since she can't read people markings, she decided it must be for her. So she opened it up and ate all the goodies inside. One whole pound of delicious See's Chocolate. It was really tastey, but deep down somewhere she knew she wasn't supposed to eat candy. When her people got home she realized that they could see the candy wrappers and she'd been caught. Normally she would deny all knowledge of the chocolate incident & hope they'd blame the cat, but she forgot to hide the last wrapper & it was right there on her blanket for the world to see. So Lulu put on her most sorrowful guilty face and hoped for the best. She got the worst though, a forced doggie diet.

Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"____Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?" 两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？” ____Time-MoneyAs the taxi came to a screeching halt at a traffic light, I asked the driver, "Do you agree that 'Time is money'?" "Well, it's a very common saying. Who will care so much about that?" the driver answered. "Look, the digits in the meter are still running when the car has stopped, "I pointed at the meter. "Oh, yes. You've got a point here. In this case, time is money for both of us." added the driver.Not every flower symbolize for love, but rose can do it; not every tree can stand thirst, but alamo can do it, not every pig can read short message, but you can do it. Congratulations!