有趣的英文段子

1.Can you can a can as a canner can can a can？你能够像罐头工人一样装罐头吗？2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish,but if you wish the wish the witch wishes,I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.我希望梦想着你梦想中的梦想，但是如果你梦想着女巫的梦想，我就不想梦想着你梦想中的梦想.3.I scream,you scream,we all scream for ice-cream！我叫喊，你叫喊，我们都喊着要冰淇淋！4.How many cookies could a good cook cook if a good cook could cook cookies?A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.如果一个好的厨师能做小甜饼，那么他能做多少小甜饼呢？一个好的厨师能做出和其它好厨师一样多的小甜饼.5.The driver was drunk and drove the doctor's car directly into the deep ditch.这个司机喝醉了，他把医生的车开进了一个大深沟里.6.Whether the weather be fine or whether the weather be not.Whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot.We'll weather the weather whether we like it or not.无论是晴天或是阴天.无论是冷或是暖，不管喜欢与否，我们都要经受风霜雨露.7.Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked？彼德派柏捏起一撮泡菜.彼德派柏捏起的是一撮泡菜.那么彼德派捏起的泡菜在哪儿？8.I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought,I wouldn't have thought so much.我有一种想法，但是我的这种想法不是我曾经想到的那种想法.如果这种想法是我曾经想到的想法，我就不会想那么多了.9.Amid the mists and coldest frosts,With barest wrists and stoutest boasts,He thrusts his fists against the posts,And still insists he sees the ghosts.雾蒙蒙，冰霜冻，手腕儿空空，话儿涌，只见他猛所拳头往柱子上砸，直说自己把鬼碰.10.Badmin was able to beat Bill at billiards,but Bill always beat Badmin badly at badminton.巴德明在台球上能够打败比尔，但是打羽毛球比尔常常大败巴德明.11.Betty beat a bit of butter to make a better butter.贝蒂敲打一小块黄油要做一块更好的奶油面.12.Rita repeated what Reardon recited when Reardon read the remarks.当里尔登读评论时，丽塔重复里尔登背诵的东西.13.Few free fruit flies fly from flames.没有几只果蝇从火焰中飞过去.14.Fifty-five flags freely flutter from the floating frigate.五十五面旗子在轻轻漂浮的战舰上自由的飘扬.15.There is no need to light a night light on a light night like tonight.for a bright night light is just like a slight light.像今夜这样明亮的夜晚，就不需要点一盏夜灯，因为明亮的夜灯也会变得微弱.17.A pleasant peasant keeps a pleasant pheasant and both the peasant and the pheasant are having a pleasant time together.一位和气的农民养了一只伶俐的野鸡，而且这位和气的农民和这只伶俐的野鸡在一起度过了一段很美好的时光18.How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets？如果裁纸机能裁纸的话，一个裁纸机能裁多少张纸呢？19.Mr.See owned a saw and Mr.Soar owned a seesaw.Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See.西先生有一个锯，萨先生有一个秋千.现在在萨先生看见西先生之前，西先生的锯锯断了萨先生的秋千.20.If you're keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.如果你非常相要好的风筝和精彩的表演，就去买一只漂亮的，灵巧的风筝吧.21.Ted sent Fred ten hens yesterday so Fred's fresh bread is ready already.特德昨天给弗莱德送去了十只母鸡，所以弗莱德的新鲜面包已经准备好了.22.A Finnish fisher named Fisher failed to fish any fish one Friday afternoon and finally he found out a big fissure in his fishing net.一个名叫费希尔的芬兰渔民在一个星期五的下午未能捕捉到任何鱼，结果他民现他的渔网上有一个大裂口.23.Franc's father is frying French fries for his five fire-fighter friends after they finished a fire-fighting in a factory.在结束对一家工厂的灭火战斗以后，弗兰克的父亲在为他的五个消防队员朋友炸制法式土豆（炸薯条）。

以下有趣的词组都来自西方的神话故事，在写作或与外国朋友交流都能用得上！

An apple of discord 争端之源，祸根

The Achilles'Heel唯一的弱点

Helen of Troy特洛伊的海伦；至爱

The Trojan House（特洛伊木马）暗藏的危险

Greeks gift阴谋害人的礼物

Swan Song 千古绝唱；绝笔

Win/Gain Laurels 赢得桂冠

Under the rose秘密地，私下地

The Augean Stable 肮脏的地方，藏污纳垢的地方

A Procrustean Bed 极其难达到的标准

Bone of the bone and fleshof the flesh

Cast pearls before swine 对牛弹琴

A wolf in sheep's clothing 披着羊皮的狼

Bell the cat自告奋勇

cry wolf 虚发警报

a tower of ivory 象牙塔

asbaldasacoot头发脱光的（像黑鹅一样秃）asblindasabat有眼无珠（像蝙蝠一样瞎）asblindasanowl瞎透了（像猫头鹰一样瞎）asboldasbrass厚颜无耻（像黄铜一样厚脸皮的）asbusyasabee极忙碌（像蜜蜂一样忙碌）asclearasabell健全的（像铃铛一样健全）asclearasday一清二楚的（像白天一样清楚）ascoolasacucumber极为冷静的（像黄瓜一样冷静）aseasyasapie极容易（像馅饼一样容易）asfussyasahenwithonechick在小事上瞎操心ashardasthenethermillstone铁石心肠（像下层的磨石坚硬）ashungryasahunter非常饥饿（像猎人一样饥饿）aslivelyasacricket极活泼（像蟋蟀一样活泼）asmadasawethen非常生气（像弄湿的母鸡一样生气）asmildasadove非常温和（像鸽子一样温和）asplainasthenoseinyourface一清二楚（像你脸上的鼻子一样清楚）aspoorasachurchmouse赤贫的（像教堂的老鼠一样穷）asproudasapeacock极骄傲（骄傲得像只孔雀）asstrongasahorse健壮如牛asstupidasanowl极愚蠢（像猫头鹰一样愚蠢）asthinasawafer极薄（像糯米纸一样薄）astrueassteel绝对可靠（像钢一样可靠）。

1.绿色green在英语中可以表示“嫉妒、眼红”，如：green with envy,green as jealousy,green-eyed monster都是指“十分嫉妒”的意思.例如：Their neighbours were apparently green with envy.他们的左邻右舍显然十分嫉妒.汉语中表示“嫉妒”意义的则是说“眼红”，应该翻译为green-eyed而不能翻译为red-eyed.2.由于美元纸币是绿颜色的，因此美国人通常把钞票称为greenback.此外green在美国也可以指代“钱财、钞票、有经济实力”等意义，如：In American political elections,the candidates that win are usually the ones who have green power backing them.在美国政治竞选中获胜的候选人通常都是有财团支持的人物.eg.With a Ph.D.,he thought he could get greener paychecks.他想，有了博士学位，他能得到更丰厚的薪水.green在财经领域有以下一些含义：green power 金钱的力量、财团green stamp 指美国救济补助票，因印成绿色而得名green sheet 指政府预算明细比较表greenback 美钞（因为美元背面为绿色）（用于口语）green pound 绿色英镑（指共同体内部计算农产品价格而规定的高汇率英镑）3.在英语中，绿色还用来表示“没有经验、缺乏训练、知识浅薄”等意思.例如，The new typist is green at her job.刚来的打字员是个生手.eg.You cannot expect Mary to do business with such people.She is only eighteen and as green as grass.你不能指望玛丽同这样的人做生意，她只有十八岁，还毫无经验.eg.Do you see any green in my eye？你以为我是好欺骗的吗？4.green还有一个新用法：He is greenly challenged.意思是：他是残障人.5.green eyed 嫉妒 green finger(thumb)把大伙干不好的活都干得漂漂亮亮 例如：A person with green finger has a magic touch that makes plants grow well and quickly.长着绿手指的人是有魔法的，只要他一碰，植物就长的又快又好.green light 允许、许可 例如：I'm only waiting for the green light from you.我在等您的允许.green revolution 绿色革命 例如：These developing countries produced enough food to serve their people after green revolution.绿色革命后，这些发展中国家就生产出足够的粮食来满足国民的需要.the green years 青春年华。

Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.

钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。

One should love animals. They are so tasty.

每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。

Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.

要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。

The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.

聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）。

Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.

爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。 （老外也保守，要摸黑办事，哈哈）

Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.

后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。

"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.

“现在的梦想决定着你的将来”，所以还是再睡一会吧。

There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.

应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。

"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? "

“努力工作不会导致死亡！”不过我不会用自己去证明。

"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "

“工作好有意思耶！”尤其是看着别人工作。

God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。

When two's company, three's the result!

两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！

A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.

服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你贸然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。

The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget.

The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.

学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，

忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着？

When I was 12, I was just graduate from primary school。

The summer holiday was very long, and without homework。I felt dull and boring。

Absolutely, I knew the problem, no one can call back yesterday, and I mustn't waste time。 So I decided read books in summer holiday。

The first I read was Oliver Trwist and Jane Eyue。 I've never seen such interesting books in my life。

although I did't like reading before I enjoy it。 Now, I can't live without books。

Because a good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever。

One day,a farmer met a foreigner，the farmer was hit the foreigner，he said at once：‘I am sorry！’When the farmer said that，the foreigner said：‘I am sorry，too！’Then the farm -er said：‘I am sorry，three！’

one car come , one car go,two car peng peng, one car die

经典有趣的英语笑话

导语：幽默的人不仅仅会说笑话，还要懂得他人说的笑话，这里我收集整理了经典有趣的英语笑话，来测试一下你的幽默细胞的指数有多高吧!

1 Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar.

As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him.

Both of them stopped, staring at each other.

Then the critic said, "I'll never make way for a fool."

"But I will," with that Goethe retreated aside.

一次，歌德正在魏玛一个公园的.一条狭窄小道上散步。

碰巧他遇见一个对他怀有敌意的评论家。

两人都停了下来，彼此相互对视。接着评论家说道：“我从来不给傻瓜让路。”

“可我给。”说完歌德退到了一边。

2 ?After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.

Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said,

"I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.

""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

和相亲对象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。

他事先安排了个朋友给他打电话，这样他就能借故先离开了。

当他回到桌边，他垂下眼睛，装出一副阴沉的表情，说：“有个不幸的消息，我的祖父刚刚去世了。”

“谢天谢地!”他的约会对象说，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”

3 A worker who was being paid by the week approached his employer and held up his last paycheck.

This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on, he said.

I know, the employer said.

But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained.

Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake, the worker answered, but when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.

一个拿周薪的工人找到雇主，拿出上周的工资单，“比我们商量好的少了200美元，”他说。

“我知道，”雇主说，“但上星期我们多付了你200美元，也没听你抱怨。”

“好了，我并不介意偶尔犯错误，”工人回答，“但如果成了习惯，我觉得必须提起你的注意。”

4 A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand.

The officer asked how he could reward him.

"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it.

If the other fellows know I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."

一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。 “最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

5 Two little boys wanted to ask a favor of their mother.

"You ask her," said Paul, age ten.

"No," said Roy, age nine, "You ask her, you have known her longer than I have."

两个小男孩想找他们的母亲帮忙。

“你去找她。”十岁的保罗说。

“不，”九岁的罗伊说，“你去，你比我更早认识她。”

6 It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner.

"What are you charged with?" he asked.

"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"

"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉?”他问。

“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。

“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早?”

在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。