廊坊电器城
共2条回答292浏览
-
耀眼的小日2小时前发布-
短篇英语小笑话
会讲笑话的人都是有好人缘的人，所以我们要多亲近一些笑话大王们。现在我也来当笑话大王啦!我给大家收集整理了短篇英语小笑话，一起来笑笑，收集好人缘吧!
On a pleasant Sunday afternoon an old Englishman and his youngest son were seated in the village inn. The father had partaken liberally of the beer, and was warning his son against the evils of intemperance.
在一个阳光明媚的周日午后，一个年长的英国绅士和他年幼的儿子一同坐在村庄的旅店里。父亲没有节制地大口喝着啤酒，并警告他的儿子如果放纵就会给你带来痛苦。
"Never drink too much, my son. A gentleman stops when he has enough. To be drunk is a disgrace.”
“永远不要喝的太多，我的儿子。一个绅士在喝酒时会适可而止。喝醉了酒可是不太光彩啊。”
"Yes, father, but how can I tell when I have enough or am drunk?"
“是的，爸爸。但是当我喝的有点过头甚至喝醉了的时候我怎么才能知道呢?”
The old man pointed with his fingers.
这位年长的`父亲伸出手指指向一边。
"Do you see those two men sitting in the corner? If you should see four men there .you would know that you were drunk.”
“你看见坐在角落的那两个男人了吗?如果你看见的是四个男人坐在那里，那你要意识到你是喝醉了。”
The boy looked long and eamestly, After a time in puzzled tones, he said: yes, father, but-but-there is only one man in that corner.”
那个男孩认真仔细的看了很久。过了一会之后，他用困惑的声调说到:“是呀，爸爸，但是—但是—在那个角落里只有一个人呀!”
The husband complained that his wife always cooked the same dish.
丈夫抱怨妻子总是做同样的一种菜。
One day, the husband got home and asked his wife, "My dear, what will we eat today?"
一天，丈夫回到家，问妻子：“亲爱的，今天我们吃啥菜?”
The wife said, "You may select the dish today."
妻子回答：“今天你可以选择。”
The husband was very glad and asked, "Which dishes are there today?"
丈夫感到非常高兴，又问：“都有哪些菜呢?”
"Cabbage."
“炒白菜。”
"The others?"
“还有呢?”
"None."
“没了。”
"Then how to select?"
“那你要我怎么选呢?”
"Eat or not eat!" the wife said.
“吃还是不吃!”妻子一本正经地说道。
TEACHER: In what countries are elephants found?
老师:在哪些国家发现了大象?
STUDENT: Teacher. Elephants are very large and intelligent animals，and are seldom lost.
学生:老师，大象是一种巨型的并且是一种充满智慧的动物，因此，它是不会迷路的。
TEACHER: A noun is the name of a person or a thing. Who can give me a noun?
老师:名词是一个人的名字或是一件事。谁能给我举个例子?
STUDENT: A cow.
学生:母牛。
TEACHER: Very good. Another noun?
老师:很好。你能再举个例子吗。
STUDENT: Another cow.
学生:另外一头母牛。
TEACHER: Jim, what are the three words which some of you use most often in class?
老师:吉姆，你经常在课堂上说的三个字是什么?
STUDENT; I don’t know.
学生:不知道。
TEAL HER: Correct.
老师:答对了。
A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one。
一位妇女到一家帽子店买帽子。她很挑剔，用了很长时间才选好了一顶。
Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: "An excellent choice, madam.You look at least ten years younger with this hat on!"
已经忍耐到极限的售货员害怕她再改变主意，便恭维她：“你做了极好的选择，夫人。你戴上这顶帽子看上去起码年轻十岁!”
To his dismay, the lady took off her hat at once and said: "I don't want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats!"
但令他沮丧的是，这位女士马上摘下了她的帽子说：“我不想要一顶摘下来便使我立刻显得老十岁的帽子。多拿一些帽子给我看看!”
-
-
-
幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇）
在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我整理的幽默的英语笑话短文（精选11篇），希望大家喜欢！
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient,"For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist,or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price."Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied,"No,it’s not better,just unused."
一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。
“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。
病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的.差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。
医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。”
Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.
迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made,Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes,dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate,a plump,middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind,lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back.Her momentum carried her close to my shoes.Before I could help her,however,she had scrambled up.Gaining her composure,she winked at me and said,"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody.What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States,she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her.At the bank counter,the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real.It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more,uttering."Trust me,Sir,and trust the money.They are real US dollars.They are directly from America."
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
Mrs.Brown:Oh,my dear,I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs.Smith:But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs.Brown:It's no use,my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
—Waiter,this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry,sir.It must have been in a fight.
-- Well,bring me the winner then.
-- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
teacher:here are two birds,one is a swallow,the other is sparrow.now who can tell us which is which?
student:i cannot point out but i know the answer.
teacher:please tell us.
student:the swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
-
