Jim went to the thrift shop. He wasn’t looking for anything in particular. He liked to go there just to browse. A big sign on the front door said OPEN. The shop was closed on Sunday and Monday. The rest of the week, it opened at 10 a.m. and closed at 2 p.m.
Two women worked inside. They rang up sales and put the items into plastic bags for the customers to carry out. At the back of the shop was a big room where another lady worked. She sorted the new donations and put price tags on them. At the end of each day, she would bring the new donations out to the main part of the shop.
Everyone who worked at the thrift shop was a volunteer. The only "payment" they received was that they had the opportunity to see, and buy, any items in the shop before the customers did.
When Jim entered, the lady at the register told him hello. He smiled and said hello. She knew Jim because he was a regular customer.
Jim said, "What’s new?"
She laughed and said that nothing was ever new at a thrift shop. "It’s always old and it’s always used," she smiled.
Jim looked at the watches in the glass case. He saw one that he liked.
"Could I look at that one?" he asked.
Laura went to the stable. Four horses stood there. She put a saddle on Star. He was seven years old, big and dark brown. Her sister came out to the stable. They were both going to exercise the horses. It was a warm, sunny day. Janice saddled up Moonbeam, a white mare. They got on the horses and started walking them.
A few minutes later, Laura was telling Janice about the new doctor in her hospital. She raised her hand for a second to make a point. Just then, Star bucked. Laura went flying into the air. She landed on her head and shoulder on the grass.
"Oh, my gosh!" Jan cried. "Laura, are you all right?"
Laura moaned. Jan gently rolled her over. She didn’t see any blood. That’s good, she thought.
"Can you move? You’re not paralyzed anywhere, are you?"
Jan pulled Laura up into a sitting position. Laura slightly moved her legs and arms. She wasn’t paralyzed. When she moved her right hand to touch her head, she groaned.
"What’s the matter?"
"That hurt. When I moved my arm, it hurt."
They still didn’t see any blood. Jan unbuttoned the top buttons on Laura’s blouse and looked at Laura’s right collarbone.
"Oh, no," she said.
Mike looked at the label on the big plastic container. It said Garlic Powder. There was a U with a circle around it after the word Powder. What does this U mean, Mike wondered. Under the word Powder was another word, Seasoning. Under that word was a drawing of a garlic bulb.
Mike knew that food labels can be tricky. Powder is powder, but Seasoning could mean salt. He looked all around the plastic container for an ingredients label. There wasn’t one. In small print under the drawing of the garlic bulb was a phone number: 1-. Call that number if you have comments or questions, the label said.
Mike called the number. A woman answered. He asked her what the U inside a circle meant. She said it meant kosher. Kosher food is food that is prepared according to Jewish law.
Mike asked where the ingredients label was. She said if there is only one ingredient, there is no ingredients label.
"So, there is no salt in this product?" Mike asked.
"No, sir," she said. “It’s 100 percent garlic powder."
"Why does it say, Product of USA and China?"
She said that sometimes they get the garlic from China, sometimes they get it from the US.
The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit.
兔子说:“你先摸摸我。”蛇同意了,它摸了一下兔子。
He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet..."
蛇说:“额,你全身都有皮毛,有一个小棉球似的尾巴,耳朵很长,后腿很粗壮…”
The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!" Then the rabbit feels the snake.
兔子说,“我知道!我是只兔子!耶!”然后兔子摸了一下蛇。
He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue..."
兔子说,“好吧,你长长的细细的,全身都滑溜溜的,还有一根分叉的舌头…”
The snake says, "Oh no! I'm a lawyer."
蛇说:“不!我是个律师”
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
“没什么”,猎人丈夫说道,“狮子自己走进这么乱的地方的,让他自己出来吧。”
So this guy goes into a pet store and sees a beautiful parrot but it has a blue string handing from one foot and a red one from the other. He thinks this is a little strange so he asks the shopkeeper what the strings are for.
"Well this is a highly trained parrot" the shopkeeper replies. "If you pull the red string he talks in French, if you pull the blue string he talks in English".