Winter holiday is coming. Can you guess what I am going to do? I want to travel to Beijing!As I live in the south of China, I seldom see snow. I want to go to Beijing to see the snow.Beijing is our capital. And there are many places of history interest. Such as the Forbidden City , the Great Wall and the Summer Palace.I believe that these places will be more beautiful in winter. I'm sure I can have a good time in Beijing .
在我看来你的作文层次清晰,内容全面,但是美中不足的是你的主语不应该由谓语动词充当,这是英语作文的大忌,同时也暴露出你对于英语句子细节的疏忽,通篇好几处help others这是明显的动词短语,下次记得一定不要用错了。第二点是你的文章缺乏一定的连贯性,尤其是句子之间First, help others can make us feel happy. When we help others, they will say “thanks”to you 感觉没说完,所以今后也要在句子上在细节上下功夫啊。总体不错,所以我认为应该得11-12分,继续努力啊,come on!