Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.
Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time?
太子丹:I've told you again and again that you should call me: "my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan."
(我一再告诉你,你应该叫我:“我最美丽、最优雅、最英俊、最迷人、最可爱、最聪明、最亲爱的丹王子。)
阿三:Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng.(作杀状)
(好的,殿下。我有一个好主意。我们可以找一个人去杀了嬴政)
太子:Oh yeah. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!(二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!然后拍阿三肩膀,做赞许状) Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三:After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
太子:Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
(好吧,尽快给我看看赢家,好吗?)
阿三:Yes.(好的。)
Action II(第二幕)(《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐)
荆轲:Are you Li mochou?(你是李莫愁?)
李莫愁:Yes.(是的。)
荆轲:OK. I'm Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers' world.
(好啊。我是荆轲,你知道,我会让你知道我是杀手世界之王。)
李莫愁:Are you challenging me?(你在挑战我吗?)
荆轲:Off course!( 耸耸肩表示同意)
李莫愁:Come on!
音乐起,两人冲上前来,“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊。”
李莫愁倒地,荆轲大笑。
李莫愁痛苦状:What happened? Why aren't you hurt?
(发生了什么?为什么你不会受伤?)
荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? (赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?)
李莫愁:Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
(妈妈总是说:“人生就像一盒巧克力,莫愁。你永远不知道你会得到什么。“我知道了,妈妈是对的。)
荆轲再次大笑
太子丹上(抱拳):How are you?
荆柯:Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹:Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you?”
荆柯:Sure!
太子丹:How are you?
荆柯:Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯:Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹:Oh, I’m kidding too!(毕恭毕敬)May I have your name card, please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着:To be or not to be, that's a question.
(生存还是毁灭,这是个问题。)
阿三:Hero,we need your help.(好汉,我们需要你的帮助。)
荆柯:I am busy now!(我忙着呢!)
太子丹:You can get a lot of money.(你可以得到很多钱。)
荆柯:I am very busy now!(我现在非常的忙。)
阿三:IC, ID, IQ card?
荆柯:I am very very busy now!(我真的真的非常忙。)
阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.(你看,那是世界上最美丽的女子,如果你答应了,她就是你的了。)
荆柯(流口水):I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
(我不得不说她是个性感又美丽的女人,但TCM才是我唯一的爱人。)
阿三:What? What's the TCM?
荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn't know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.(小子,看你挺聪明却不知道TCM。让我来告诉你吧。)
阿三:Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
观众甲:TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹:I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.
(我必须给你看王牌。女士们先生们,这是利普顿减肥茶。是联合利华中国的一个全新产品。)
荆柯(激动):Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn't reduce my weight.
(减肥茶!我已经梦想了几千次了。我妻子总是威胁说如果我不能减肥就离开我。)
阿三:You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I'm very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?
白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本旁白:Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on. 白雪:( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.)皇后:I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here!魔镜:Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know?皇后:Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all?魔镜:Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.皇后:She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.
小狮子找食物(I Am Hungry)角色:雄狮、小狮、小白兔、三只小熊、小松鼠、小女孩。道具:雄狮、小狮、小白兔、三只小熊和小松鼠头套、红萝卜、三碗粥、花生一把、苹果一个。Act 1雄狮:(怒吼)Roar, roar!I am the lion,the king of the forest.No one is stronger than me.Roar, roar!小狮:Daddy! I’m hungry.雄狮:You are big now.Be brave!Go and find your own food.小狮:But, I don’t know how.雄狮:Do it like me.Roar, roar! (怒吼)小狮:(小声地)Roar, roar!雄狮:Rush to the animals and bite them with your sharp teeth.(露出尖利的牙齿)Go and do it now.小狮:Yes, daddy.Act 2小白兔:(唱”Rabbit, Rabbit, Carrot Eater”)Rabbit, rabbit, carrot eater.He says there is nothing sweeter,Than a carrot everyday,Munch and crunch and run away.小狮:Hi, rabbit! I am hungry.Roar, roar!(小声地)小白兔:Do you want some carrots?小狮:Yes, please.(小白兔递给小狮一根红萝卜)小狮:Thank you.小白兔:Carrots are the best food.小狮:(吃了一口)Yuck! I don’t like it.Anyway, thank you, rabbit.(还红萝卜给小白兔)小白兔:You are welcome.(边跳边唱”Rabbit, Rabbit, Carrot Eater”离开)Act 3三只小熊:(各拿着一碗粥,并唱着”Pease Porridge Hot”)Pease porridge hot,Pease porridge cold,Pease porridge in the pot,Nine days old.Some like it hot,Some like it cold,Some like it in the pot,Nine days old.小狮:Hi, bears! I am hungry.Roar, roar! (小声地)小熊们:Do you want some porridge?小狮:Yes, please.(小熊递给小狮一碗粥)小狮:Thank you.小熊们:Porridge is the best food.小狮:(吃了一口)Yuck! It’s too hot.I don’t like it.Anyway, thank you, bears.(将粥还给小熊)小熊:You are welcome.(小熊们边走边唱”Pease Porridge Hot”离开)Act 4小松鼠:(唱着”Found a Peanut”)Found a peanut.Found a peanut.Found a peanut just now.Just now I found a peanut.Found a peanut just now.小狮:Hi, squirrel! I am hungry.Roar, roar! (小声地)小松鼠:Do you want some peanuts?小狮:Yes, please.(小松鼠递给小狮一些花生)小狮:Thank you.小松鼠:Peanut is the best food.小狮:(吃了一颗)Yuck! It’s too hard.I don’t like it.Anyway, thank you, squirrel.(将花生还给小松鼠)小松鼠:You are welcome.(边走边唱”Found a Peanut”离开)Act 5(小女孩边走边唱”Apple Round”)小女孩:Apple round.Apple red.Apple juicy.Apple sweet.Apple apple I love you.Apple sweet I love to eat.小狮:Hi, little girl! I am hungry.Roar, roar!小女孩:Oh, a lion! Help! Help!(苹果掉地上)小狮:What is it?Mmm…, delicious!I like it.(小狮很高兴地边走边唱”Apple Round”回家)