两篇英语小笑话

笑话作为广大人民群众喜闻乐见的文学样式,自诞生之日起就凭借其辛辣独到的讽刺手法,夸张变形的艺术构思以及背反逻辑的情节设想等语体特点而得到作家青睐。我精心收集了简短英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!简短英语小笑话带翻译篇1 财政学的一课 Smith was the manager of a construction company and was taking bids on a new project. Thefirst bidder was a Polish company, and their representative offered to do the job for $ 400,000. "That seems reasonable," said Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown on that?" 史密斯是一家建设公司的经理，他正负责一个新工程的招标案。第一位投标的是一家波兰公司，他们的代表出价四十万元接那个案子。“似乎很合理，”史密斯说。“你可不可以给我一张明细表呢?” "Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. " “当然没问题，”波兰公司代表说道，“二十万元工资，二十万元材科费。” Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction Company, which bid $ 800,000. 下一个出标的是美国标准建设公司，他们以八十万元竞标。 "Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "What's the breakdown?" “嗯，这个价钱似乎有些偏高，”史密斯说道。"你们有明细表吗?" " $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. " “四十万元材料，四十万元工资。” "I'll get back to you. " “我以后再同你联系。” Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith's office. " $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent." 最后可翰•高斯坦•雷伯威兹公司的代表走进史密斯办公室。“一百二十万元是我们竞标的价码，”代表说道。 $11 200, 0001 That' s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown onthat?" “一百二十万元这个标高得太过分了，”史密斯叫道“你可以给我一张明细表吗?" "No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and $ 400，000 for thePolacks. “没有问题，”代表回答道。“四十万元给我，四十万元给你，最后四十万元则给那家波兰佬开的公司。” 简短英语小笑话带翻译篇2 黑人英语 The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnantwith her ninth. Finallyshe convinced her husband to get a vasectomy. 一对黑人夫妇已有八个小孩，而鲁拉·梅又怀了第九个小孩,最后她说服了她先生去做男性绝育手术。 On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husbandputting on a tuxedoand getting into a limousine for the short ride to thehospital. 手术的早晨，她惊讶地看见她老公穿着礼服，乘坐一辆礼车到不远的医院去。 "Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May. "亲爱的，这是怎么一回事啊?鲁拉·梅问道。" "Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important. "宝贝，如果你想当名大人物的话，就要让人一看就知道你很重要!" 简短英语小笑话带翻译篇3 向你的烦恼说再见 A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. 一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。 Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. " 那位犹太人对圣彼得说：“坦白讲，能到这里让我蛮惊讶的，我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。” "That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter." “我们实在感到非常遗憾，”圣彼得说，“但我们这里没有那样的偏见，这里每个人都完全平等，只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。” the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?" 那名犹太人正确地拼出God后，被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得，我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击，而且只能住在居留地内，我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?” "My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. " “小兄弟，你的烦恼已经结束了，只要拼出God这个词，你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。” The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom. 印第安人照着做，不久也被引入天堂。 Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?" 接着那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他说道，“一辈子人们都瞧不起我，不公平对待我，在这里那些事不会发生吧!” "Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours " “当然不会，我的弟兄，我们不会做那样的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词，天堂之国就是你的了!” 看了“简短英语小笑话带翻译”的人还看了： 1. 简单英语小笑话12篇 2. 英语爆笑笑话 3. 英语小笑话带翻译简短 4. 关于短小的英文小笑话带翻译 5. 英语小笑话带翻译 6. 关于英语小笑话带翻译简短

笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。下面是我精心收集的关于简短易懂的英语小笑话，希望大家喜欢!

a film crew was on location deep in the desert. one day an old indian went up to the director and said, "it will rain tomorrow." the next day it rained.

一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处进行拍摄。一天，一个印度老人来到导演面前对他说：“明天会下雨。”第二天果然下雨了。

a week later, the indian went up to the director again and said, "there will be a storm tomorrow." the next day there was a storm.

一周以后，印度人又来了，他告诉导演说：“明天会有暴风雨。”果然，第二天有暴风雨。

"this indian is incredible," said the director. he told his secretary to hire the indian to predict the weather.

“这个印度人真神，”导演说。他告诉他的秘书去雇佣这个印度人来预测天气。

however, after several successful predictions, the old indian didn't show up for two weeks.

然而，几次预测天气成功之后，这个印度人连续两周没有露面。

finally the director sent for him. "i have to shoot an important scene tomorrow," said the director. "and i'm depending on you. what will the weather be like?"

最后，导演派人把这个印度人请来了。导演对他说：“我明天必须拍摄一个很重要的场景，全都指望你了，明天天气如何啊?”

the indian shrugged his shoulders. "i don't know," he said. "my radio is broken."

这个印度人耸了耸肩说道：“我不知道，我的收音机坏了。”

one day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. a dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.

一天，一家百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。但是，没过多久，他就发现自己已被疯狂的女人们撞得踉踉跄跄。

he stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.

他竭力地忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥舞双臂，挤过人群。

"you there!" challenged a thrilling voice. "can't you act like a gentleman?"

“你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得像一位绅士吗?”

"listen," he said. "i have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. from now on, i am acting like a lady."

“听着，”他说。“我已经像绅士一样表现了一个小时了。从现在起，我要表现得像一位女士。”

a man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. a woman is driving down the same road. as they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "pig!!" the man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "witch(女巫)!!" they each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. if only men would listen.

译文1：一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪!!”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫!!”他们继续前行。这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。