英语小品稿子

搞笑小学英语小品剧本《新守株待兔》人物：农夫，兔子A，兔子B，大树。农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A cool farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）[冷酷地走两步，突然被绊了一跤，继续保持冷酷]Eh...When I was yong,I studied in Xu~~~~chuan Middle School.So, I’m rich now！[开始展示名牌，边说边掏]Look！This is my modernmobile——Nokia WC 250！This is my watch!This is my MP3!These are my shoes——(夸张低沉地)ADIDAS!This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh,sorry.[扔掉苹果]It’s this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do you know what’s this？痒痒挠？No no no~~You are out!!It’s my modern——锄头~！！[看下表] It is time to do some farming！[开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作]树：I’m a tree!I can do many things!I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作，哼哼哈西！！！]I can dance![跳四小天鹅] Oh?There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A)。树站回后台]兔子A：OK,I’m a rabbit. Now I’m just walking around here.[农夫继续锄地，边锄边上场，突然看见前面有个兔子]农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch！[扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it！ [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走][农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走，兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。]兔子A：Wahhhh~!（吓一跳）What do you want?

全英文的！：：甲:亲爱的观众朋友们，大家晚上好！（鞠躬） 乙：Good evening everyone ,Dear my friends。 甲：你说什么？ 乙：我说英语啊！ 甲：英语？英国老鼠？好家伙，来一中半个学期，成了洋鬼子了。 乙：这不是洋鬼子。这是世界普通话嘛——English.你懂吗？ 甲：哦，世界普通话。我也会说。世界不懂话嘛。我说给你听。 乙：你说说给我听！ 甲：…… 乙：这是什么东东呀？ 甲：哈，听不懂就对了。这就是你说的世界不懂话。说了谁也听不懂的话。 乙：咳，你这个人，什么年代了，还这么落后，我说的可是正宗英语，现在 已经成了世界通用的语言了，所以 叫世界普通话。就象中国普通话一样普及。 甲：是嘛。你这么说，我倒要见识见识了。 乙：你想学英语？ 甲：废话。不学不就象你说的，落后了嘛？ 乙；对，你真聪明！ 甲：你可以教我嘛？ 乙；好啊！ 甲：太谢谢你了，那，比如，见了面用英语怎么打招呼呀？ 乙：这很容易，招手：Hello…… 甲：哦，（学）二楼！这真的容易。见了面，上二楼，叫我吃饭啊！ 乙：不是二楼！是Hello。 甲：哦，不是二楼，是下楼？让我下楼，又不让我吃饭了？咳…… 乙：你这人真是的，你饿晕了吗？总吃什么饭啊，什么二楼，下楼。还下流呢！看来你真不是学英语的料。不教你了， 甲：哎！不要生气啊，你就再教教我嘛。 乙：好吧！谁叫我是个大好人呢？ 甲：那么，你叫什么名字，怎么说？ 乙：我叫韦东。 甲：不是，我是问你，英语“你叫什么名字”怎么说。 乙：哦，你听啊，What's your name? 甲：（壮话）闻是用name（重复），哦，英语真了不起！ 乙：怎么了？ 甲：我们是壮族的啊！你听啊，英语也和我们壮话一样，教育我们，人家放屁了，千万不要在后面跟着，好好（讲壮话）跟了放屁的人，不是好臭嘛，是吧！ 乙：这怎么是壮话呢？还跟什么放屁连在一起，乱七八糟的。 甲：（傻笑）呵呵。 乙：我可告诉你，你还想不想学英语？ 甲：（赶忙）想学，想学。不就和我们壮话一样嘛。 乙：听了啊，是，就是yes。 甲：咽死！咽死！这多么不吉利啊！ 乙：你说什么？ 甲：咽死，咽死，不说什么！ 乙：好，不呢，英语就是no。 甲：哦，不，英语是这个，脑！ 乙：不是脑袋，是NO。 甲：不就是脑——嘛！ 乙：对 甲：“教室”，用英语怎么说？ 乙：教室是“Class room。” 甲：格拉格rem，格拉格rem,你们的教室是在木楼上面嘛？ 乙：没有啊！ 甲：那你们教室也够吵的啦！ 乙：为什么？ 甲：格拉格rem 格拉格rem 不是同学们在教室里又唱又跳让地板（格拉格rem 格拉格rem） 乙：哇！你这人，想象力还挺丰富的。 甲：是嘛！这样，记英语单词也就快了嘛！ 乙：真有你的！ 甲：让你这么一教，我很快就学会了英语啦。 乙：好啊？那你就把刚才我教给你的英语给我说一遍。 甲：好，听着啊——（说不出来） 乙：快说呀！ 甲：你急什么急呀！我不正准备呢嘛？（又说不出来） 乙：看见了吧？说不出来了！我说你不好好学，怎么说好英语呢？ 甲：谁说我学不好英语啦？听啊，见了面说二楼，然后说我what's your name?如果name了我。那你就会咽死，因为上面“格拉格rem，格拉格rem” 乙：都什么乱七八糟的。

Soldiers: Yes, your highnesss!第四场：（士兵敲门）Stepmother: What’s the matter, soldiers?Soldier1: Are there any young girls in your family, madam?Soldier2: The pretty princess lost her shoe in the palace.Soldier3: The prince wants to find her and marry her.Helen: Let me try.The shoe is mine.Soldier1: No,it’s not yours. It’s too small for you.Jenny: It’s mine. Let me try it.Soldier2: No, it’s not yours, it’s too small for you.Stepmother: Hi, come on, maybe it’s mine. Let me try it.Soldier3:Oh, my god, it couldn’t be yours. Do you have another daughter?

英文小品剧本 羊肉串和纳税人Characters:Mr. Shi, Xiaofu, DabaoMr. Shi: Tax is the major source of the fiscal revenue. There is an evident change about the relationship between the tax collector and taxpayer in the past 20 years. Now, the tax collector, Xiaofu, and the tax payer Dabao, a vendor selling Yangrouchuan will show you the very change. The first Act happened in 1980s.Act I(in Bazaar of Beijing, sanlihe, 1980s)Dabao: Yangrouchuan , yangrouchuan, eaten one ,want nine, eaten one, want nine.Hi, Take my yangrouchuan.(slipped, take it up, )Xiaofu: Tax! Pay the tax!Dabao: (change faces)Taxi? Where is the taxi? Here’s no taxi.Xiaofu: Tax! T---A ---X!Dabao: What’s the tax? I just know taxi! Do you want me to call a taxi for you?Taxi----! Taxi----!Xiaofu: Enough! Are you the vendor?Dabao: No , No, No, no! I 'm just have a look. The vendor has gone to the toilet.Xiaofu: Not the vendor ? Impossible! you 've been here for 2 hours.Dabao: Really ? (Xiaofu: Yes, of course.)How do you know it?Xiaofu: The window of my office is open to here and I 've been looking at you for two hours.Dabao: It’s a big bug!Xiaofu: Oh. Don’t waste my time! Please pay the tax---- 10 Yuan!Dabao: 10 yuan?! My god. I had just earned 20 Yuan one day! 5 Yuan, ok?Xiaofu: Don't cheat me, you've sold more than 2 hundred ones.Dabao: 6yuan, my dear sisiter.7Yuan, my lovely beauty.Dabao: Not for you ,not for me, let's split the difference. 8 yuan ,ok ?Xiaofu: (looking around) All right ,a deal. But no receipt.(Dabao payed 8 yuan and Xiaofu left)Dabao: What a smart woman! Bad luck! I’m bankrupt. I have to change my place.Hope I would not meet her any more! Let’s go!Act IIMr. Shi: The next scene happened in new century. China had been marching in the way of the market economy for twenty years more, in the new era of building the well-off society in an all-round way, how do the vendor regard tax as and how is the tax collected? The scene will tell you.Let’s enjoy it!(In the market; Dabao in white clothes ,a board with "NO SARS")Dabao:: Yangrouchuan, yangrouchuan. Eaten one, want nine. Eaten one, want nine.Xiaofu: Hi,Dabao: Hi.Two: What a familiar face.Two: It’s you!Dabao: 10 years past, you are a still a tax collector.Xiaofu: 10 years past, you still sell Yangrouchuan.How is your business?Dabao: Everything is OK!10 years past, you are still beautiful lady in Sanlihe of Beijing.Xiaofu: 10 years past, you and your Yangrouchuan look more clean than 20 years before.Dabao: Thank you. No SARS, no dirtiness; Serve people, serve me.Xiaofu: Great! Have you…