用英语写笑话100词

Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath? Stan: Blindfold them! 斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。 弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？ 斯丹：浴室。 弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？ 斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛 /ws敌→シ`友 2007-10-17 10:24 检举

I am the Driver The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let him aboard. "It's too crowded," they shouted. "What do you think you are?" "I'm the driver," he said. 我是司机 一辆公共汽车已经相当拥挤，还有一个人想挤进来，乘客不让他上去。 “太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁？” “我是司机。”他回答说。I'll See to the RestA guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage."Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!""Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back."You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."其余的事由我负责一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。“快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。”“噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。”她回答道。“请把门关上好了，”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。”Sleeping PillsBob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.""That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday?"安眠药鲍勃晚上失眠。他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。”“好啊!”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？”

英语笑话带翻译100字

英语笑话带翻译100字一：

Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, Apple-Six for five cents. An idea came to Bill and he went into the store.How much are the apples? he asked the store.Six for five cents.But I don't want six apples.How many apples do you want?It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic.What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic? asked the man.Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you.Bill picked out a good apple, began to eat it, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.

比尔是一个好学生，也是个聪明的孩子。他喜欢学数学，课本上所有的数学问题他都能不费劲地解答。有一天，在上学路上，比尔经过一家水果店。该店窗户上有个招牌上写着：苹果--五美分六个。比尔脑筋一转，进了店门。苹果怎么卖?五美分六个。但我不想要六个。你想要几个?这不是我想要几个的问题。这是个数学问题。数学问题?你说这话是什么意思?你看，如果六个苹果五美分，那么五个苹果四美分，四个苹果三美分，三个苹果二美分，二个苹果一美分，一个苹果就不要钱。我只要一个苹果，如果一个苹果一分钱也不要的话，那我也就没必要给你钱了。比尔拣了一个好苹果，开始吃了起来，然后兴高采烈地迈出了店门。那个售货员吃惊地望着这个小男孩，一句话也说不出来。

英语笑话带翻译100字二：

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

在一个乡村路上，一警察让这个农民靠边停车，说：“先生，你意识到你的妻子在几公里前从车上掉下去了吗?”农民回答说：“感谢上帝，我还以为我聋了呢!”

英语笑话带翻译100字三：

A young couple was becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him.Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned.""You talked! You talked!" shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taken this long.""Well, up till now," said the boy, "things have been okay."

一对年轻的'夫妇对于他们四岁的儿子仍然不会说话这件事非常着急。他们带他去看专家，但是医生们找不出任何不正常的地方。之后有一天早上，这个男孩突然说道：“妈妈，面包拷糊了。”“你说话了!你说话了!”他的妈妈嚷道。“我真高兴!但是为什么要我们等这么长的时间呢?”“嗯，直到现在，”男孩说，“每件事都很正常啊。”

A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy 一个好孩子小罗伯特向他妈妈要了两美分。“你用我昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我把它给了一个贫穷的老妇人。”他回答“你是个好孩子”妈妈骄傲地说。“这里有两美分多，但为什么你对老妇人这么有兴趣？”"她是一个卖糖果的” A teacher asked her class ,"Is the sentence `The ox(公牛)and the cow(母牛)are in the fields'correct" Most of the children said,"Yes,that is right!" And only one little boy said,"No,it is not correct ,The lady must be mentioned first." 译：一个老师问他的学生。“田里的公牛在母牛的前面对吗？”大多数小孩说： “没错，是这样的” 少数小男孩说： “不，这是不正确的，这女士必须在前面”

首长：同志们好！士兵：首长好！首长拍一士兵的胸部说：这肌肉练得多好！士兵：报告首长，我是女兵．

1)TOM'S EXCUSE Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow". 汤姆的借口 老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？ 汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。" DID YOUR DAD... 2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!" 吉姆说:"你妈妈能!" 附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点. 3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!" and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!" 汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!" 吉姆说:"你妈妈能!" 附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点. 4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟." 5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?” “Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.” 一盒小火柴 妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？” “是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。” 6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn. Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing! 开车 父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。 苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。 7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?” “I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered. “You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?” “She is the one who sells the candy.” 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” 8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?” “A kid bit me,”replied Ivan. “Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother. “I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.” 他的耳朵在我的衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。” 9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。